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But her eyes—even from far away I can feel the hold she has on me. The same one she had the other day as she stood across from me in my office and when I first saw her on the plane. She looks away first, and I shake my head.
It was one thing when I thought her marriage stood in the way. That we couldn’t be together. Now I know it’s just her. She doesn’t want me the same way I want her. She doesn’t need me the same way I need her. I need to move on.
“Probably with my brothers,” I reply to Vanessa. “We like to go out to eat and get drinks on the weekends. Work hard, play hard.”
She smiles brightly. “My sisters and I too. How many brothers do you have?”
“Two.”
“Oh my gosh! How old are they? I have two sisters! We should all go out!” I smile and she hesitates. “Wow, that was forward. We haven’t even made it through cocktails and I’m already planning a family get-together.”
I laugh. “One is older than me and one is younger. How old are your sisters?”
She smiles meekly. “They are both younger. In their twenties. Not that your brothers would mind, I’m sure.”
I nod in agreement. Carter never dates women his age. Maybe this could work. A few women to hang out with, a beautiful one at that, and she seems kind. I feel myself relaxing and find myself interested. More interested than I expected to be. She’s easy to be around. Which is nice.
We order dinner, and I forget we’re being watched, losing myself in Vanessa’s company. I can feel when Grace is gone though. I look up and see her spot at the bar empty. My shoulders settle even more. I can’t imagine it was easy for her. I know I wouldn’t have done it. Watched her date another man. It’s a fucked situation we’re in, and I’m glad the roles aren’t reversed.
“So, what do you say? Want to grab an after-dinner drink at the bar?” she asks, as the waitress takes our plates.
I’m surprised when I agree. I stand up and Vanessa leads the way while I place my hand on her back, guiding her to the bar. Her hair smells like lavender, and I inhale, forcing the comparison to Grace’s coconut shampoo from my head.
When we reach the bar, she turns her bar stool to mine so that our knees are touching while we talk, and that little bit of affection is a welcome sign.
Unlike other women, she’s forward in her attention, but not in an inappropriate way. Just simple touches that let you know she’s interested. It keeps my attention and focus precisely where it belongs—all on her.
Vanessa leans in, brushing her hand against my cheek and smiles. Behind her, I spot Grace sitting in a booth, laughing. She’s not looking at us. She’s not studying or taking notes. She’s talking to someone, but I can’t make out the other person without moving my head in an obvious manner around Vanessa’s. “Hey, you okay?” Vanessa asks, pulling my attention back to her.
“Yeah, I just thought I saw someone I know.” I shake my head.
“Can you grab me a cabernet? I’m going to run to the bathroom.”
I nod and wait until she’s out of sight to look back in Grace’s direction. Across from her is Hanson. He’s gesturing exaggeratedly, and she laughs so hard that tears fall down her face. Before I can consider what I’m doing, I stand from the bar and walk to their table.
“What’s so funny?” I hear myself ask.
Idiot. Complete idiot.
Grace and Hanson both turn to me, Hanson with pure joy on his face at having me witness him with Grace, and Grace with little emotion whatsoever.
“James, how’s the company?” Hanson says, looking up at me with a smirk. He’s such a slimy motherfucker. I’ll never forgive him for what he did in college to my sister. And it’s clear as day that the rumors of him moving in on my company are true. It’s written all over his damn face.
“Just great. Grace, can I have a moment?” I say tersely, turning to her.
She hesitates, looking at Hanson, then back to me and then over to the bar. “Where’s Vanessa? It looked like you were really hitting it off.”
She doesn’t sound the least bit jealous or concerned. I feel unhinged at the sight of her laughing with Hanson and she’s completely unaffected by my date.
I try to think of a reason why I would need to talk to her. Anything that would sound reasonable and not like I’m a jealous asshole. “She went to the bathroom. I just figured I’d give you a rundown on it. Ya know, for your notes.” I point to her purse where I know she has her notepad, and she looks down and then back to me, nonplussed.
“Sure, okay.” Turning to Hanson, she says, “I’ll be right back.”
He winks at her and my skin crawls. As soon as she slides out of the booth and is within inches of me, I can practically taste the coconut. I try to keep myself from breathing in her smell, willing myself to keep Vanessa’s scent in my nose, but as soon as she moves past me, I inhale.
Fucking heaven.
And fucking hell.
