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Chapter Twenty-Three
Both
“Why do you want inside my mind so badly?”
“I can’t tell you how to do it. I’m not a Valkyrie, but I’ve been connected to one when She has manipulated an element. I can show you what I experienced.”
“Explain it with words. I’m a quick learner.”
If Ales was in my mind with the Valkyrie, it might be too much to remain in control. They were both unpredictable.
“It’s beyond words. I’m not good speaking like this. My people didn’t express themselves verbally like yours. We didn’t describe emotions like you. Before I was an Einherjar, I couldn’t fathom so many emotions existed. Cri taught me the spectrum of some. Other warriors taught me more. Through the connection to Einherjar, I communicate better. Same with you.”
“Your people didn’t speak to each other?”
Ales cocked his head. “We did, but there weren’t words for many things you say. I understand your words because you are a Valkyrie, but I don’t know them. I haven’t experienced them. Words like love, intimacy, affection, didn’t exist in my world. Rage, pain, duty—those words I know well. It is hard to love when you are hungry. When your body is in pain, and there is so much struggle to survive each day.”
Ales was so different from my dreams. The man before me was so bereft of the things that made me human, and yet he wasn’t vicious to me. Both Charlie and the Valkyrie wanted to reach for him.
“Did the Keres make your world that way?”
“No. My old world was made of stone and ice. It was barren of the resources we needed centuries before I was born. It was only the resilient that survived past birth. I was a very scrawny, angry child. I learned how to fight for food in the ice pits at a young age. My people didn’t dance or laugh like yours or Cri’s, or even Leo’s. We were always in constant struggle for clean water, or a plant that we could harvest in the ice. There were a few. The Keres attacked my world when I was barely a man. I had nothing to lose, Charlie. I welcomed my death, but Kara changed me. She must’ve thought my resilience would be useful. She took me from my world, and I don’t blame her for it. She needed an Einherjar. But you are unlike her in every way.”
His world was so cruel, and what I knew of Valkyries wasn’t much different. I couldn’t understand how Ales showed any compassion, even now.
“What was Kara like?”
“She was a brilliant commander—daring and conniving. When you asked me why I killed those men in the compound, I was shocked. I thought their death was what you would’ve wanted. Kara would’ve slaughtered anyone who wished her harm.”
Ales was the fascinating one, not me. He was the perfect case study. My professors would’ve been frothing at the mouth to understand his perception through the lens of his language. Charlie might want to learn from him, but the Valkyrie wanted to do some other things that went way off the books. I felt Her pull toward him deep with me.
“And you? What do you want?” I asked.
“You sound like Cri. Always talking about wanting. War is my life. I know nothing else. Eir is Cri’s dream. A land of peace. I can protect people, but I’m not sure I know mercy, Charlie.”
“You can learn it. You already have. Lana is affectionate toward you, and I think she’s a pretty good judge of character.” They had hugged each other. She was not afraid of him.
Ales and I were more alike than he thought.
I’d been alone so long I’d forgotten what it meant to be with someone. Ales found Cri and Leo—brothers—to rely on. It was more than I’d had, until Logan.
“You said Cri taught you emotions through the connection. Does that mean Einherjar can connect to each other without a Valkyrie or me doing it?”
“Yes. It is how we communicate in battle. Valkyries connect their minds to Einherjar to give commands. It helps the legion work as one unit. It’s different if an Einherjar wants to establish a connection to a Valkyrie. We must be allowed into a Valkyrie’s mind. Valkyries don’t let Einherjar into their minds often. It exposes them. But an Einherjar can communicate freely with others at will. It bonds us in a way. We still ask permission, and mostly only do it when fighting beside each other.”
“I’m not sure I want that much communication.”
“A Valkyrie’s connection to an Einherjar is stronger if they pledge themselves to her. If not, a Valkyrie can still connect in battle, if need be. It is designed as a redundancy. In case a Valkyrie dies in battle, other Einherjar could assume commands from another Valkyrie.”
“It’s a little creepy, ya know. It’s too close, Ales—to have someone in your mind.”
“I understand, but I’m drawn to your aether, to the Valkyrie inside you, unlike any other. I think our connection is different. I desire to know why it’s so unique.”
Was the connection to Ales not supposed to be so intense?
“And you can only do that in my mind?”
Ales’ eyes pulsed with a streak of silver. “Yes.”
