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“What do you mean?”
I wrapped my hand around his neck and continued to sway against his body. “As his assassin, I’m not allowed to be with anyone.”
He stopped dancing abruptly and scoffed. “Who cares about his stupid rules?” He grabbed my wrists from behind his neck, gently bringing them down to my side. “I thought you were starting to see things from my eyes now? To see him for who he really is.”
“I am, Bennett, but I’m still worried about what he will do to you if he finds out.”
He shook his head, irritated. “No need to worry about my father when there’s nothing for him to even get upset about.”
“I just told you his rule abou—”
He raised his voice, shaking his head. “Damnit, Rhia, it was just a few kisses! It doesn’t mean anything at all.”
Oh.
I felt like I was punched in the gut, and it took all my energy to keep myself upright. I stood my ground and looked straight back into his navy eyes, not allowing him to find an ounce of pain hidden behind mine.
I’m an idiot, honestly. I can’t believe I thought for even a moment that Bennett was actually looking at me differently.
“Obviously.” The word clung to the air around us. I stepped completely out of his arms, leaving space between our bodies. “I’m sure he won’t care.”
I was stupid for possibly thinking there was more to this than just the alcohol driving us together. I felt disgusted, dirty, and suddenly wanted to wash my body until all traces of Bennett were swept away down the drain. It was hard for me to distinguish the difference between being loved and being used when I’d only experienced the latter. I slowly backed away from him and towards the door, needing to get some space, as I felt like I could get sick.
“Where are you going?” he asked, taking a step towards me.
“Somewhere else.” I just hoped I had the energy to at least make it somewhere before I passed out, but I knew at this moment anywhere else was better than here.
“Stay.”
He reached out his hand, as if to tug me back to him, but I pulled my arm back. “I’ll pass on more of the meaningless kisses for tonight. The drinks were stronger than what I’m used to and now that I’m sobering up, I don’t need to make any more mistakes.”
Everything I said was a lie, including the sobriety. If anything, I felt like I was going to black out any second. Hurt crossed his features, and I didn’t even know why I chose to notice when he clearly didn’t care.
I turned away from him and walked out of the tower, wondering how one of the best nights of my life just turned into the worst. The stars were laughing at me now.
