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“Ow!” I jumped on my seat. It felt like she was removing my skin instead of only the mask.
“Uh oh,” she said, her eyes widening as she stared at a spot on my forehead. “Umm—”
“Umm, what? What did you do?” I asked, but before I could get an answer, there was a knock at the door.
“Come in!” Lexi yelled to the door.
“Is everything—” Jillian began to ask, then she stopped dead in her tracks. “Oh, wow. You sure put a lot of that on.”
This was not exactly reassuring. “Can you just get this crap off my face already?”
Lexi pulled the piece again—and again it hurt. “Ouch.”
“Jillybean, what do you suggest I do about this?” Lexi called Jillian over to look at something on my face.
Jillian whistled. “Yowza, you got it in his eyebrow.”
I frowned, not understanding at all what exactly was going on. “What’s the problem with it being in my eyebrow?” I asked, feeling more than a little anxious. I wished they’d yank all of this crud off my face and be done with it.
“Umm, this stuff sticks particularly well to hair,” Jillian answered slowly and tried to pull exactly where Lexi had.
“Ow!” I yiped. “Can’t you unstick it?”
Jillian raised her eyebrows further. “Umm, yeah—no. You’re probably going to lose part of your eyebrow, I’m afraid.”
I swept their hands away from my face. “I’m going to lose what? Are you crazy?”
Jillian bit her bottom lip and shrugged. “It’ll probably grow back.” Then she turned quickly and called over her shoulder, “Good luck, we’ll be out here eating while you guys finish up.” Then she shut the door behind her.
“What the hell am I going to do without eyebrows?” I snapped at my wife. Her lips were in a flat line on her face.
“It’s one eyebrow. This one should be okay.” She touched the opposite eyebrow and brushed it with her finger.
“Oh, well, that’s a fucking relief,” I snapped at her, “I can’t believe I let you put that crap on my face and now I’m going to lose a goddamn eyebrow.”
“It’s just a chunk out of this eyebrow. Not the whole thing.”
“Oh, my God.” I shut my eyes, cursing the fact I’d allowed Jillian to talk me into coming to book club. “I never should have come here.”
Lexi scowled. “Exactly, why did you show up anyway?”
Now that pissed me off so much that I decided not to answer at all. “Get this mask off my face, would you?” I said in a low, warning tone.
“Fine,” she said in the universal womanly tone that meant anything but fine.
Her fingers moved over to the other side of my forehead and rolled down a small piece there. She tugged and pulled a long hunk of it off my forehead—leaving that eyebrow intact at least. Then she began on the sticky eyebrow, pulling it down carefully.
“Just yank it,” I told her and braced for the pain that was to come.
“I’ll count down,” she offered, and I opened one eye and nodded. “Five, four, three, two,” and then she pulled.
Hard.
“Motherflipper—” I grunted. Before I could move a hand up to my torn eyebrow, Lexi covered it with hers. She placed pressure on it, relieving a good amount of the pain along with it.
“Christ, is there anything left?”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s a tiny chunk, and there’s hardly any blood.”
