AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Distracted, I realize too late that I'll need the librarian to unlock the door for me. But when I reach the end of the aisle, I find the door to study room D isn't closed all the way. I turn on the light and enter to wait inside. I leave the door open, watching for Grant.
I can't sit, so I pace. And think ... way too much.
Lily obviously still has feelings for him. And she's been nothing but kind to me. She is the sweetest person on the planet. What the hell is he doing with me? I mean, not with me, but ... whatever. He has feelings for me? Like serious enough feelings that he has to tell his ex-girlfriend?
I cup the back of my head with both hands and groan in frustration. What am I doing? Besides falling in love with him.
"Holy shit," I say out loud and then cover my mouth in shock. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.--continues repeating in my head.
"I'm falling in love with him," I gasp.
"You weren't supposed to do this!" I yell at my heart, or soul, or whatever part of me that decided to connect with Grant against my will. Squirrel's love explanation is a little hazy right now.
The door slams shut. I turn around expecting Grant. But no one's there.
"What the hell?" I mutter, walking to the door to crack it open again. But it's locked.
The lights shut off.
"Hey!" I yell, slamming my fist against the door. "Someone's in here!" I wait. No response. "Hello! Open the door!" I slap against the wood, jostling the door handle. Nothing.
I can't see a thing. It's so black it's like I've been locked in a tomb.
My heartbeat picks up and I draw air into my lungs faster and faster.
I shake the doorknob and pound. "Let me out!" I scream at the top of my lungs. "Please! Let me out!" The last word breaks into a panicked sob. "Please!"
I'm light-headed and feel like I'm going to fall over. I slide my hand along the door to the wall. Pressing my back against it, I bend over like Brendan showed me, breathing in slow and deep. But I can't fill my lungs. My pulse is racing. I can't breathe. Oh, no. I can't breathe.
I slink to the floor, fighting for air.
"Stop it!" I holler, but the laugh gives away that I don't really mean it.
He reaches over me, his chest brushing against mine as I hold the remote out of his reach. But it's not really. He could easily get it from me if he wanted. His mouth is so close to mine. I swallow hard.
I squirm farther down the couch, squealing when his hand grabs my waist and tickles me. I've had a crush on him for so long. I'm hoping so hard that he might finally kiss me. I know he's older. But I'm finally looking like a teenager, and not the little kid he watches when my mother works late and my grandmother has to cover the night shift at the pharmacy. I've only ever been the little kid upstairs to him. I want him to see I'm not anymore.
I slide down to the floor. "We are not watching your stupid show." I attempt to crawl out of reach, still laughing, not realizing my skirt has slid up and my underwear is peeking out.
"Since when do wear lace underwear?"
I whip around and pull the skirt down, my face flaming red.
"You're wearing a bra now too, huh?" His eyes slide over my curves. I have the biggest boobs in
my grade. It's so embarrassing. I try to hide them with baggy shirts. But today I'm wearing a tank top. It's hard not to notice that I'm not a flat-chested, pig-tail wearing little girl anymore. I wanted him to notice. But now that he has, my stomach feels sick.
He crawls over me. Something's different. My heart isn't beating with excitement anymore. It's pounding with fear.
He leans in to kiss me, but I turn my head. "Don't."
"What? You don't want me to?"
"I do," I fumble. But I don't really mean it anymore. His breath feels hot on my cheek. His body is balanced above me like he's doing a push-up. "I don't know."
"You know you do." He lowers himself. And I flip over before he's on top of me, trying to crawl out from under him. He presses me into the carpet, my hands are pinned under my shoulders. I squirm. "Yeah, you know you do."
"Get off," I choke. "I can't breathe."
