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Edie was fierce and sweet, but also an innocent. She might believe she loved me but, once she discovered how cynical and disillusioned I really was, she would realise I could never love her back... And then her feelings would sour. Maybe not now, maybe not even in the next few weeks or months, but it would happen eventually, and it would hurt me... I could not afford to give her a chance to break me—the way my mother had broken that little boy.
Edie’s hand unfurled against my chest as she slept. She snuggled closer, resting her palm on my sternum, gravitating towards me even in sleep. The possessive, unconscious touch sent a shaft of longing through me and my heart slammed into my ribs.
I tried to calm the heavy erratic rhythm as I listened to the soft murmur of her breathing... And considered how to end our affair swiftly and irrevocably tomorrow while I waited for the dawn.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Take a week off at Belle Rivière. You’ve earned it. Joe will be expecting you in Monaco on the eighteenth. Contact him if you have any concerns.
Buon viaggio!
D
I STARED AT the note from Dante that had been delivered to the suite as I packed, my hands shaking, and gulped down the ball of confusion and anguish in my throat.
Something was wrong. Very wrong. And now I was being forced to confront it.
I’d known something wasn’t right as soon as I’d woken up this morning, my body aching from the intensity of Dante’s lovemaking, with Dante nowhere in sight. It was the first time in five days I’d woken up without Dante’s arms around me.
When I’d joined him in the breakfast room, he’d been in the middle of a phone call and had barely glanced at me. And I hadn’t had a chance to speak to him since. Not properly. Not even during my private team interview after the guests had departed.
He’d informed me I was getting a two-thousand-euro bonus along with the rest of the team. I’d been hopelessly flattered and so proud. He hadn’t mentioned us—I’d assumed as part of his efforts to keep our affair out of the work environment—so I’d made an effort not to mention anything personal too.
But before he’d dismissed me he’d told me he was offering me the probationary position he’d spoken about. I’d be working alongside Joseph Donnelly in the landmark casino in Monaco as a player strategy consultant—to observe the play and spot the systems the high stakes players were developing or using to gain an unfair advantage against the house. The salary was more than I had ever dreamed of earning—enough to support both me and Jude, to pay off the mortgage on Belle Rivière and undertake the estate’s much needed renovations. We’d even be able to hire a small staff to help keep the place clean and well-maintained again—if I could persuade him I could do a better job of spotting the cheats than his current team.
It was more than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. And I had been absolutely thrilled to accept the position.
But as soon as he’d outlined the job offer, in that impersonal, pragmatic tone, and the excitement had built under my breastbone, I’d known the primary reason I was so thrilled wasn’t because of the amazing benefits and salary, or even the exciting challenges and opportunities the work would represent, but because he had shown such faith in me. And also because working in an important executive position in Dante’s organisation would give me the chance not just to see him again, but maybe even for us to continue our affair. Or at least that’s what I’d hoped.
Somewhere, deep down, I had even managed to convince myself that was one of the other reasons he had offered me the job. Because he wanted to keep me close too.
In the hours after I’d accepted the job and signed the contract though, there had still been no chance to talk to Dante privately. I’d tried to convince myself it was because he was busy.
After the last of the guests had left and the team interviews had been completed, Dante had hosted a final lunch for the team out on the terrace, with everyone laughing and toasting each other on a job well done. I’d left a seat for him next to me, but he’d walked past it and taken a seat at the far end of the table with Joseph Donnelly and his events manager, Evan Jones. I’d been stupidly hurt at first and then realised how ridiculous I was being.
What was I, five? He probably still had work to discuss with Joe and Evan.
But after the meal he’d disappeared again. And my insecurities had begun to mount.
Why had he hardly spoken to me? Was he avoiding me? Was it because of what I’d said to him about his mother the night before? Why had I probed like that?
I’d tried to keep a lid on my fears and anxieties by keeping busy myself. Surely he would talk to me in time, explain what was happening, where we stood.
After saying goodbye to the other team members as they climbed into their various cars and taxis, I had headed up to our suite of rooms. The vague hope I’d had that he might be up there packing had been dashed when I’d walked in on a maid busy folding all his clothes into a series of suitcases.
I’d duly packed my own stuff. At last there had been nothing else left to do, I could hear the staff being ordered about by Collette, who was making the final preparations to clear the chateau and close it up for the next few weeks. As I sat in the bedroom alone, my own suitcases stacked ready to leave, I began to feel as if I had been totally forgotten. Should I go downstairs, find Dante? Where was he? Was it possible he’d already left, without even telling me?
And that’s when one of Dante’s assistants had come to inform me Dante had arranged for the company helicopter to return me to Belle Rivière. And handed me the note, written in Dante’s bold cursive script.
I read it again as my head started to pound.
Had he dismissed me? The chill that had been working its way over my skin all day seemed to wrap around my heart.
Had I done something wrong? Was it because of the liberties I’d taken last night? Was he angry about that conversation? What had happened to the man who had been prepared to fight for my honour over a single snide comment? Who had danced with me and then made love to me—bringing me to two mind-blowing orgasms. And then held me in his arms while I fell asleep.
I didn’t understand; my confusion became almost as huge as the deep well of hurt at his actions.
Was this how my mother had always felt? When she’d been discarded by the men she had loved.
