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Maya propped her elbows on the desk, steepled her fingers. ‘Right, then, I think we should start by doing a pregnancy test.’
Juno coloured, feeling the now all too familiar sting of tears. Of course, everyone knew about her two-week affair with Mac; it had been reported in most of the papers. But seeing the compassion in Maya’s eyes only made her feel more inadequate and more depressed. ‘I’m not pregnant, Maya. I can’t be. I’ve had a period since …’ She stared at her lap. ‘Since I got back. And we didn’t.’ She hesitated. ‘We were careful.’ Almost all of the time.
‘Let’s just say you’re humouring me, then,’ Maya said firmly.
Juno sighed and nodded. What was one more humiliation to add to all the others?
‘It’s positive,’ Maya said gently, staring at the on-screen printout. ‘You’re pregnant.’
Juno sucked in a breath, feeling as if an articulated lorry had slammed into her chest. ‘That… That’s not possible.’
‘I’m afraid it’s very possible,’ Maya replied, swivelling her chair round, the sympathy in her gaze making Juno feel nauseous. ‘The period you thought you had was most likely just spotting. Was it very light?’
‘I don’t… Yes. I suppose,’ she stammered, her mind numb. She’d had twenty minutes to wait for the test to be administered and the results to come through, but she’d remained calm. This at least was one calamity that couldn’t happen.
And now it had. Tears flooded over her lids.
Maya rushed around the desk and pulled her into her arms as the first sob burst out. ‘Juno, love, don’t worry. We can sort this out,’ she said, abandoning the doctor-patient etiquette and stroking Juno’s hair like the friend she was.
‘I can’t deal with this now. I can’t,’ she whispered between the jerking sobs, tears dripping onto the hands clutched in her lap.
How could this have happened? Was she being punished? For making the same terrible mistake twice in her life? For falling in love with a man who didn’t really exist?
‘I’m calling Daisy. You’re not dealing with this alone.’ Maya framed her face in warm hands. ‘What you need is a good night’s sleep. As soon as you’ve got that done we’ll take the next step and talk through all the options. Okay?’
‘Please don’t tell Daisy,’ she blurted out.
How could she face her friend? How could she face Connor with this news?
‘That’ll be your decision,’ Maya said carefully. ‘But you’re going to need a lot of support in the next few weeks, possibly months, and Daisy’s a fantastic person to have in your corner. ‘
Juno nodded meekly. Knowing Maya was right. However hard it was going to be to have to admit how witless and irresponsible she’d been, she needed her best friend more than ever now.
And then another thought occurred to her. And the lorry crushed her ribcage.
‘Am I …?’ She paused, tried to breathe through the fear. ‘Am I going to have another miscarriage?’
She didn’t feel miserable any more, she felt utterly destroyed.
‘There’s no reason you should.’ Maya walked back to her desk and sat behind it, her doctor’s hat back on. ‘Lots of women have miscarriages and then go on to have viable pregnancies. But as soon as you’re ready we can give you a thorough examination, find out how the baby’s doing and talk through the possible risks.’ A small smile curved her lips. ‘So you’ve already decided to have this baby?’
Juno’s body began to shake. ‘I don’t know.’
But she did know, which only made the whole situation a thousand times worse.
Could she really risk putting everything she was—everything she hoped to be—on the line again? And could she survive what she’d been through si
x years ago, if it all went horribly, hideously wrong a second time?
CHAPTER NINETEEN
‘JU, THIS is madness. You’ve got to tell Mac. Not doing so is not an option.’
Juno stared at Daisy across the breakfast bar, her mouth firming into a stubborn line. She’d been preparing herself for this argument for the last forty-eight hours, but she still didn’t feel ready to deal with it.
As expected, Daisy had been the Rock of Gibraltar ever since she’d arrived at Maya’s surgery two days ago armed with a comforting hug and a sturdy shoulder to cry on.
She’d whisked Juno back to her house, insisting she stay in the guest bedroom for the rest of the week. She’d pampered her and cajoled her and calmed the worst of her fears. Then, after she’d coaxed out most of the story of Juno’s disastrous adventure in La-La Land, she’d helped her to begin rebuilding her confidence and her courage.
