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She’d led with her heart, and she refused to regret that, but now she needed to use her head. And back off. For her own protection.
‘Good.’ She pushed her hair out of her eyes, let the wind whip the errant strands away from her face. ‘You do that,’ she said, feeling desperately exposed all of a sudden. And more than a little awkward.
He brushed a knuckle across her cheek, rubbed his thumb across her lip. ‘I don’t suppose there’s any chance of a quickie on the beach? To kiss and make up properly.’
The cheeky suggestion was intended to break the mood, but it still had her heart beating double time in her chest. ‘I’m afraid I promised to make cupcakes to go with the cake,’ she said, determined to ignore the emotion clogging her throat. ‘And I have a rule against doing anything that would risk getting sand in places I may find it hard to get it out of again.’
He smiled, and made her heartbeat peak painfully.
Remember, Ruby, this is not a real relationship. And you don’t want it to be.
She fluttered her eyelashes, wiggled her brows salaciously. ‘But we can certainly take a rain check. As long as you remember to bring your gag,’ she added, trying her best to lighten the mood too.
Sex was simple—the one thing she could offer him without complications. And it was the only reason she was really here.
He chuckled, the sound gruff with desire and appreciation. Basking in his approval had been wonderful once, but that too was becoming too much of an addiction.
Holding her hand, he directed her back towards the steps carved into the cliff-face. Began to climb. ‘Come on, I’ve never been to a three-year-old’s birthday party before. It promises to be quite an experience.’
Feeling the warmth of his palm as he led her up the steps—and hearing the genuine warmth in his voice—Ruby struggled not to read too much into the sense of achievement, and the tenderness she felt towards him. Or the yearning for something she’d never yearned for before, that had seized her ever since she’d walked into Madeleine King’s home.
None of these emotions were significant. Not really. Tomorrow she and Cal would be going their separate ways. And everything they’d shared over the last few days would be forgotten.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
‘MADDY, could I have a word with you?’ Cal asked, glad that his voice sounded even—and reasonably assured. It was late in the afternoon, the sun dropping low over the cliffs. He shaded his eyes against the glare, not quite sure what had propelled him out of the house when he’d spotted his sister busy tending her flower garden alone.
He hadn’t actually intended to give in to Ruby’s request. Had tried all through the day to dismiss their conversation and forget about it. Ruby didn’t really know what she was talking about. He’d be mad to speak about something to Maddy that they’d both let go of years before.
But Ruby had got to him, even though he’d promised himself last night he wouldn’t let that happen again. She’d triggered something inside him when he’d caught her talking with his sister in that hushed, confidential tone. And he’d lost his temper with her. And even though he’d managed to pull himself together, he couldn’t seem to get his emotional equilibrium back.
And as the day had progressed, every damn stupid little detail had only unsettled him more. Watching his sister conduct the toddlers’ tea party with calm unruffled efficiency and undisguised joy. Seeing the way Ruby placed the cupcakes she’d baked onto the tea table with a proud flourish. Holding Mia’s compact little body on his lap while she blew out her birthday candles. He’d felt as if he were an observer, an outsider in his own family’s celebration. As if there were something missing in his life, even though he knew there couldn’t be.
But no matter how hard he’d tried, he hadn’t been able to make the hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach go the hell away. And so he’d been forced to concede that maybe Ruby had a point.
He owed Maddy an apology. Not just for the way he’d acted towards her yesterday evening. But for the way he’d behaved for years—because it had always been easier to shut her out than to admit the truth. That he’d failed her terribly when they were children.
Maybe if he finally got all that off his chest, everything would go back to the way it was supposed to be.
‘Sure.’ Maddy stood up, brushing the mud off her jeans and tucking her hair behind her ear. With her gardening clothes on, and the bright grin on her face, she looked impossibly young and carefree, reminding him painfully of the boisterous girl who had eventually been beaten down by their parents’ enmity. How come he had never seen it until today? That marrying Rye and having a family of her own had brought that bright lively child back? Made her become the person she was always meant to be?
‘But can I say something first, Cal?’ She took his hand in both of hers, lifted it to her cheek. ‘Thank you for coming. And thanks for chipping in at the party. Mia had a wonderful time.’ She laughed. ‘It’s meant so much to me having you here.’
Oh, hell.
He tensed, staring at the glitter of emotion in her eyes, not sure this had been such a great idea after all.
‘I know we make you uncomfortable.’ Her voice sobered. ‘I’m sorry for that. I hope now it’ll be easier for you to come whenever you want. But I’m going to stop pressuring you about it. You only have to visit when you feel like it.’
She let his hand drop, a soft sigh escaping from her lips.
‘You didn’t pressure me, Mads,’ he murmured, using the childhood nickname for the first time in years. ‘And you didn’t make me uncomfortable. I did that all by myself. There’s something I should have told you. And I didn’t.’
The beatific smile on her lips turned to one of curiosity. ‘I don’t understand?’
And so he told her. At first he couldn’t look at her. So he stared out across the lawns towards the sea, the tumbling breakers matching the turmoil swirling under his ribcage as he forced himself to tell his sister the truth. The sordid details spoken in a tight monotone sounded all the more ugly, the more dirty, against the fresh salty scent of the sea air and the bold beautiful colours of Maddy’s garden.
She listened quietly, asking only the odd question. Her smile had faltered, flattened once his gaze finally met hers. But the disgust, the reproach he had expected to see in her face never materialised. Instead all he saw was a steady acceptance.
