AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘You said something I found interesting that first night, too.’
It takes me a second to focus on what she’s saying. ‘Yeah?’
She nods, pulling her hand away to reach for her wine. ‘You told me I was in your wheelhouse.’
I had said that. And Jessica had used it as a way to make it abundantly clear that she was interested in me. The conversation had branched in an entirely different direction.
‘You were already interested in my business?’
‘You’d crossed my desk,’ I agree. ‘I have a team actively researching good investment prospects. Your company was mentioned.’
She nods slowly. ‘So you probably would have made me an offer regardless of the fact we’ve been sleeping together.’
I lean back in my chair, watching her carefully. ‘Your name was one of a dozen that was flagged for my attention that week. I hadn’t got around to analysing your company data but, yeah, I’d like to think that if I’d seen your subscription model and services I would always have realised what a good fit you’d be to come under our umbrella.’
She winces a bit, rejecting the very idea. Fiercely independent, determined to prove herself, not wanting praise. Jessica is a thousand contradictions all wrapped into one beautiful package.
‘So I shouldn’t have been so surprised tonight. I was blindsided by everything going on between us but you basically told me right from the start. I just wasn’t paying attention.’
I expel a long, slow breath. ‘It’s not like I’ve been fucking you to get the inside track on the investment opportunity.’ I regret my choice of words once I’ve said them—too harsh, making this sound too... I don’t know. I make a noise of frustration and push to standing, moving around to her side of the table and sitting with my butt on the edge of the timber surface, right beside her.
‘Look, Jessica, I’m not going to buy into your community. Even if you wanted to sell a percentage of it, there’s no way I’d do it now. So let me give you some impartial advice. From a friend.’
She bristles and I know exactly why. Her dad and her brother-in-l
aw and God knows who else ram advice down her throat—advice she clearly doesn’t need if the success of her business is anything to go by. But she nods, just a shift of her head, and I realise what that concession has cost her.
‘As a...friend, and an outsider to your operations, you are vulnerable.’ I push away from the table, moving to the kitchen and removing the financial appraisal from the drawer. I stride across the room and hold it towards her. She stares at it for several seconds before lifting a hand and gingerly accepting it.
‘Read it. See how the market is appraising you. See the advice a completely objective third party gives for your acquisition.’
She nods again, a tight movement, then places the file down beside her. The air between us is charged with energy—emotion and frustration—but it’s not anger any more. There’s sadness. There’s too much of everything.
I suspect Jessica feels it too, because a second later and she’s standing, looking at me with eyes that tell me exactly what she needs to push all this away, to get it out of her head.
But I’m not done yet. I need to make sure she understands what I’m saying and then I’ll back off.
‘A minute ago you said you cut off your nose to spite your face when you backed out of Harvard.’
Her eyes stay locked to mine. ‘Zach—’ She’s about to shut me down. I can feel it.
So I shake my head, holding up a hand. ‘Just let me say this, then we’ll never talk about your business again, okay?’
She hesitates before nodding once.
‘Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face with your business decisions now. Don’t self-sabotage. Don’t let someone else come in and do what you’re doing—with all the resources and backing of being a huge player in tech—just because you feel like you have something to prove. You’ll never forgive yourself for it, Jessica, and honestly, nor will I.’
* * *
I stare at the shadows and light as they dance across his bedroom wall. It’s still early, a time before the sun will make its appearance above the horizon, the sky dark grey, the lights of the city never dulled, not even when we sleep. Zach is behind me, his body still, his breathing rhythmic. I stare at the patterns and I replay our conversations, our fight, the angry sex we had, the way he looked into my eyes, the way my heart practically stopped beating.
His warning not to self-sabotage.
His understanding that I do that.
Everything feels so difficult suddenly. Zach was my escape from the situation with my family and yet he’s become something else. This isn’t just hedonistic sex now. There’s something more here, something dangerous. He’s different from what I expected, or maybe I’m different from what I thought. But for whatever reason, I’m still here, lying in his bed, knowing I have no intention of leaving before he wakes up, knowing that I’ll see him again, that I’ll keep seeing him until this ends, on Christmas Day.
He was right about regrets. If I mess up the next step with She-Shakes I’ll regret it for ever. And if I mess this up with Zach, if I sabotage what we’ve got just because suddenly there’s something more going on than I bargained for, then I will live with those regrets for a long time to come. I told myself we’d have two weeks and then I’d forget him.
