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Of course that’s it. There’s something freeing about not having to think about the future, to worry about an endpoint.

Something illicit, somehow.

I don’t have any doubts about what I’m doing, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel...something. I lift my eyes to his and something catches in my chest. I’m going to miss you. I don’t say the words aloud. They’re not appropriate. But I think them; I feel them heavy in my chest. I think them, and I know them to be true. A little bit of me is going to miss Michael Brophy, probably every day, and for a lot of days to come.

But adventure awaits, exploration, freedom—the future. The future I promised my mum I’d reach out and grab with both hands, and nothing’s going to get in the way of that.

* * *

Tell her not to go.

Tell her you’ll come to Paris.

Tell her...something. Anything, you fucking idiot. Pull your finger out and...

‘This is a bit different to the last flight I took,’ she jokes as we approach the automatic ticket machines. She pulls her phone out, loading up her boarding pass, her eyes lifting to mine. I lift my own phone from my pocket, show her my own ticket. It’s to Prague.

‘You’re going to Prague?’ she asks, confusion on her face.

‘No. I’m going to gate eighty-eight with you.’

‘Michael.’ She shakes her head. ‘You bought a ticket just so you can come through Security?’

I shrug.

‘Of course you did. You didn’t have to—’

‘I know.’ I swallow. ‘I wanted to. Come on.’

Her passport is clutched in her hand, fresh and unmarked, bright blue and new. It’s so symbolic of her, and this, of her innocence and inexperience. She’s smart and funny, kind and interesting, but she’s been nowhere, seen nothing, and the world will change her, mark her, grow her. I don’t know how anyone can live without seeing the world first.

Of course she has to do this.

Of course I have to let her do this. She slips her phone away. ‘Did you hear me?’

‘Oh, right, yeah.’ I look towards the security gate. ‘You could have used my jet, of course. You can use it. Any time.’

Her cheeks flush. ‘That’s okay, I booked the flight ages ago. It’s non-refundable.’

I nod slowly.

‘Besides, it’s Air France; they’ll start speaking French as soon as I board. Like a little slice of Paris, up in the sky.’

Her enthusiasm is a blanket, dampening me, pressing down on me weightily.

‘Are you in court next week?’

Small talk? Seriously?

‘No.’ I reach for her hand, linking my fingers through hers. What an ass I was in New York, thinking this felt awkward. I squeeze her fingers in mine, a billion words running through my brain. I’m unusually lost for w

ords.

‘I’d better go through Security.’

‘Sure.’

‘You’re coming?’ She lifts her face to mine and my chest explodes.

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