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‘Jesus, Millie. I don’t want to “stick” you. I want...’
‘What?’ She’s angry and her voice carries. People nearby turn to look at us. ‘What do you want?’
‘I want you to stay—I think you want to stay too. I want you to admit that to yourself, and me...’
‘No.’ She shakes her head, turns away from me and stalks towards the gate. I watch her go, my heart in my throat. Never in a billion years did I think our conversation would go like this. Hell, I didn’t think we’d have this conversation. Bright fucking idea.
I follow her, and she whirls around.
‘I’ve had fun, but that’s all this is. Fun. And now it’s over.’
‘Bullshit, Millie. Don’t be so juvenile.’
Her eyes widen and her cheeks glow pink.
‘You honestly think this is still just sex?’
‘Lower your voice,’ she demands, pressing her back against the wall and looking up at me.
I shake my head, combing a hand through my hair.
‘What are you saying?’
Yeah, great question. ‘I love you.’
Whoa. Not in a billion years would I have thought those words would feel so incredible to say. She sucks in a harsh breath and her eyes fill with salty tears. Ordinarily, I’d say tears are bad, but maybe, just maybe, these are the good kind?
She doesn’t say anything but that’s okay because arguing my case, persuading people, this is where I come into my own.
‘I’ve never said that to anyone before and I don’t plan on saying it to anyone else. I fell in love with you, Millie, even when all I thought this was going to be was sex. I thought we’d fuck and that would be it. But Millie, my God, you are in my blood, my breath, my heart, my all.’
Her breathing is loud, raspy and her eyes are boring into me, awash with emotions I can’t decipher. Still, she doesn’t say a word and I need her to. I need to hear what she’s thinking, how she feels.
‘I love having sex with you but this is so much more than that. I love all of you. I love spending time with you, talking to you, laughing with you, waking up beside you. I love your world view, your optimism, your determination. I admire you, I adore you. I am completely and utterly obsessed with you. So I’m standing here in the middle of this airport asking you—begging you—not to go. Please. Stay here with me.’
She sobs now, a noise that cracks my heart open, because it’s not a good sob and the tears running down her cheeks now don’t seem like happy tears. I drop my forehead to hers, our breath mingling, our bodies close, my hopes thick between us.
‘Stay because you love me too. Stay because the thought of getting on that plane and flying a thousand kilometres away from me feels all kinds of wrong.’
‘Damn it, Michael, don’t.’ She whispers the words, her plea.
‘Stay here with me,’ I say again, brushing my lips over hers, tasting her salty tears. ‘Stay here for ever...’
Another sob.
‘Stay here. Move in with me. Live with me. Marry me. Spend every day with me, every night, all our nights.’
‘Michael.’ She shakes her head, lifting her hands to my shoulders, curving them there, and then she turns her head away, staring towards her gate. I don’t look. In my peripheral vision I can see people moving, a queue forming, but Millie has all my attention. I feel time slipping away from me. I feel Millie slipping away.
‘I love you.’ God, I’ve never said that before today and now it’s all I can think of.
‘Don’t. Stop it.’ She pushes me now, just enough to give her space, and then jerks her handbag onto her shoulder. ‘How can you say you love me on the one hand, but ask me to give up my dreams on the other?’
My chest crushes because I thought I would never ask Millie to give anything up. ‘I’m asking you to accept that maybe this isn’t your dream.’ My voice sounds gravelly. ‘Maybe you want a new dream. Maybe that’s me. You and me.’
‘No!’ She shakes her head with vehemence. ‘You don’t get it. You don’t love me. You just think you do.’
‘I know what I feel.’
