Page 29 of Renegade


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I step back and shake my head as I try to contain a sob. “I can’t. I’m so sorry Fitz.” I can’t wait for him to reply because I’m s

o close to letting him convince me that this is where I belong.

So with my heart broken, my stomach in my throat and the best parts of me left behind with Fitz, I walk through the gate that will take me back to where I came from.

She said no. I’m standing in complete disbelief, watching her walk through the gate. She fucking said no. “Damn Fitz that was the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen. I’m so sorry,” Poppy says, as she runs her hand down my arm. “She’s just confused, give her some time.”

I push her hand off my shoulder and shake my head. “Nah, it’s all good. She’s right, once she’s gone I’ll forget all about her,” I say, lying to both her and myself. I turn and walk toward the exit and hope that no one recognizes me on the way, because I sure as fuck don’t feel like dealing with it right now.

“Fitz, wait,” Poppy yells behind me.

I’m not waiting, I’m not about to talk or deal with what just happened. I’m going home, getting drunk and finding some pussy. That’s what I need to do, I need to fuck. I need to slam into someone, take out my frustrations, my anger and try to help my hurting heart.

Before Poppy can catch up with me, I’m in my car and on my way back to my place. Half way there I tell the driver to stop at ‘Train’. He pulls up to the front and I get out. I go inside and head right to the bar. The bartender smiles as I slide my tall frame into a barstool. “Here a little early aren’t you?” he says, grabbing me a shot and a beer. I don’t even need to tell him what I want.

“I’m not here for small talk, just give me the fucking drink,” I bark.

He pushes my drinks to me and just walks away. Best idea considering right now I’m not in the mood for anything, but the burning sting of alcohol. I want it swimming in my veins, making me forget why I’m hurting so fucking bad. I wasn’t sure what Brooklyn would say, but I was hopeful she’d finally give in to me. I thought if I told her I fell for her that she would see I’m not just out to fuck her, that I wasn’t going to hurt her. Funny thing is, I’m the one who got hurt.

After downing my shot, I wave the bartender over for another and another and another. I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting here, but I feel someone sit next to me and I glance over to see Nate. Fucking Poppy.

“Hey man, come on let me take you home,” he says, studying me like he fucking feels sorry for me.

“Nah, I’m just getting started,” I say, sipping my beer.

“I think you need a night to wrap your head around shit. You had your heart broken. It sucks and you need to let it heal.”

I’m beyond pissed at this point. Who the fuck is he? “Fuck this, I’m fucking Fitz. I’m the goddamn lead singer of Renegade. I’m not about to fall to my knees because of one chick. There are plenty of them that will do that for me.”

“Fitz, stop being such an asshole. I know you don’t want a heart to heart, that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to bring your ass home before you do something you’ll regret. If you want I’ll come hang out and we can order food,” he says, still convinced he’s going to get me to leave.

“Nate, you’re a good friend,” I start and he smiles. “But I’m not leaving. I’m getting drunk and I’m going to find a girl to bring home. So you can either stay and drink with me, or get the hell out of here.”

He shakes his head and stands up. “Brooklyn would be so disappointed,” he says and turns his back to me.

I don’t know what the fuck happens, but I snap. Just hearing her name is too much for me to handle right now. “Fuck you Nate,” I say and shove his back. He turns around and shoves his hands in his pockets. “She would need to care to be disappointed. She would need to be here to be disappointed. She would need to give a flying fuck to be disappointed. So fuck you and fuck her,” I yell.

“Call me if you need me,” he says and walks away.

Fuck him, fuck everyone. The only thing I need right now is to find a woman who is willing to let me fuck her. I look around the bar and the first face I see is the chick that bought me a drink. Bleach blonde hair, dull brown eyes and flowery scent, no longer seem so bad. I smile knowing full well she will be all too happy to let me bang her real fast. I stand up and sway, but steady myself on the bar. I toss back another shot and make my way over to her.

She looks up right before I get there and I give her a wink. “Hey,” I say, leaning against the table.

“Hey Fitz,” she says and turns back to her friends.

What the fuck? “So, you want to finish what we started?”

She looks me up and down before shaking her head. “Why don’t you go sleep it off and talk to me when you aren’t piss drunk, because last I knew I was nothing to you. So bye,” she says, giggling.

I slam my hands down on the table and they all gasp. “Do you have any idea who I am?”

They all stand up and start to walk away, but not before she looks back at me. “You sure as hell aren’t the guy that I thought you were,” she says and walks away.

I pull out a chair and sit down. Twice in one day I’ve been rejected. One I could give a fuck about, but the other damn it’s killing me. I pull out my phone and dial Nate.

“What?” he answers, pissed.

“I’m going home.” That’s the only thing I say and hang up.

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