AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“What?” She looks over at me and starts to cry. “Emma, what the fuck is it??
?? I’m getting a really bad feeling.
“It’s your mom. She’s in the hospital, she slit her wrists. I’m so sorry, Cooper.”
COOPER HASN’T SAID A WORD since I hung up with Levi. I’ve asked him several times if he was alright, which is the most ridiculous question you can ask at a time like this. He just nods his head, never taking his eyes off the road. I tried to hold his hand, but he put two hands on the steering wheel. My heart is broken in half for the pain he is feeling right now. I would do anything to take it away. We don’t even turn the radio on. We sit in absolute silence the rest of the ride home. I think back to the amazing weekend we had. I still can’t believe he got me a guitar, my own fucking guitar. I’m obviously not great, but I can now practice even when I’m not at Cooper’s and that is so exciting. I think back to the romantic lunch we had by the lake. We packed lunch, a blanket, and our guitars. We spent the afternoon playing songs, eating, and watching the sun reflect off of the crystal clear lake. When the sun started setting, Cooper made love to me telling me over and over again how much he loves me. It was like a fairytale.
“We’re here. Come on,” Cooper whispers, pulling me out of my thoughts. I look around, realizing we are at the hospital. I jump out of the truck and rush over to make sure I am by his side the entire time. I grab a hold of his hand and thankfully, this time he doesn’t pull away. I look up at him and want to fall to my knees at the pain I see on his face. He looks completely helpless, and damn it, that is not a look I am used to seeing from him. He has always been strong, protective, and in control. As we start walking toward the entrance, he starts picking up his pace and it’s becoming difficult to keep up with my short legs. We make it to the main desk in the lobby, and I feel like Cooper might jump over it if someone doesn’t help us. “Excuse me.” Finally, a sweet elderly woman comes over smiling at us. “Mary James,” Cooper rushes out and the lady types it into the computer. She looks up at us, her smile now vanished.
“She’s in Room 517 in ICU. Take the elevator to the fifth floor, when you get off turn left, and they will help you at that desk. Good luck.” She gives us a sympathetic smile this time and Cooper just nods.
“Thank you,” I say while he is pulling me away from the desk toward the elevators. We step inside and he hits the button for the fifth floor causing the doors to close. I wrap my arms around him, holding him tight. He puts his arms around my shoulders keeping me close. “I love you, cowboy.” He kisses my head.
“I love you too.” We pull apart once the doors open and rush over to the desk. “Mary James,” he says to the nurse sitting at the computer. She looks up and smiles at us.
“Cooper?” A wave of relief washes over me when I realize Mary most have been talking when she got here.
“Yes. How is my mom?” She gets up, walking around the desk toward us.
“Hi, my name is Larni, and I’ve been helping your mom. I’m going to page the doctor to come and talk with you. How about you guys come sit in the waiting area? He’ll be in to speak with you in just a few minutes.” I follow her, but Cooper stands in place.
“I’d like to see my mother. I don’t want to wait around for the doctor in a waiting room; he can talk to me after I see her.” Nurse Larni looks back with that smile still in place.
“If that is what you would rather, I’ll show you to her room.” He nods and we follow her down a few doors. “Before we go in, I want to warn you she’s not doing great right now. She lost a lot of blood forcing her heart to work much harder. She’s hooked up to several machines, and she has gotten several stitches in each wrist so they are bandaged up. We’ve given her a sedative to get her to relax and sleep. She was not willing to cooperate with the help we are trying to give her. She’s been asleep for a while, so she could wake up soon. Just make sure it is a non-stressful environment she wakes up to.” Cooper looks ill when Larni tells him all of this. He doesn’t say a word, just pushes past her into the room. I give her a forced smile.
“Thank you.” She squeezes my arm.
“It’s going to be a long road sweetie, so be ready for that.” There is nothing I wouldn’t do for Cooper, so those words don’t even phase me. She walks away and I take a deep breath of courage before walking into the room.
The first thing I notice is the smell. I hate the smell of hospitals; it’s a mix of cleaners, medicine, and Band-Aids. I look over at Cooper who is bent over the bed with his arms wrapped around her waist and his head buried in her stomach. I slowly move toward him and that’s when I notice his shoulders shaking. I start to cry and make my way over to him. Mary is hooked up to a few machines and they are beeping. She has an IV in her arm and her wrists are both wrapped in white gauze. She looks incredibly pale, thin, and sick. It is hard to look at her, to be honest. I focus on Cooper, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head on his back. He begins to cry harder, so I hold him tighter. I’ve never hurt for someone else the way I am hurting for him now. I can actually feel his pain.
Suddenly, he stands up and turns to face me. He holds me so tightly to him that it’s difficult to breathe, but if it helps him even the slightest bit, I’ll take all the shallow breaths necessary. “Emma, what am I going to do? I can’t lose her too, I can’t. It hurts so fucking bad.” He lets out a sob that shakes his huge body. My tears are uncontrollable at this point. Seeing him in this much pain, so helpless, is my breaking point.
“She’s going to be fine. We will see her through this. I’ll be by your side the entire time, I promise you.” I have no idea if she is going to be alright, but I sure as hell wouldn’t tell him that. I will be his strength and care for him just like he’s done for me.
“Excuse me.” Cooper let’s go of me and quickly wipes his eyes with the heels of his hands before turning to face the doctor. “Hi. I’m Dr. Cummings. I’ve been treating your mom. Can we talk somewhere else? I promise not to take up too much of your time with your mom.” Cooper looks at me and I hold his hand.
“Sure,” I say for him.
“Thank you. We are just going down the hall.” He turns to walk out and we follow him. He holds open a door to a small conference room, and he asks us to have a seat. He puts the folder he is holding down on the table and folds his hands on top of it. Cooper still has a hold of my hand, and I hope it is giving him some comfort. “Thank you both. You must be Cooper.” He just nods. Dr. Cummings looks at me next.
“I’m Emma, Cooper’s girlfriend.” His eyes get wide for a second before he clears his throat, looking back to Cooper. What the hell was that? He looks at me again and smiles.
“Nice to meet you, Emma. Cooper, I want to make you aware that normally we only give information to immediate family. If you want Emma to stay, that is your decision, but I want to make you aware that things I’m going to say may be difficult to hear.” Well, obviously it will be difficult to hear, and that’s why I should stay. What a tool this doctor is. Cooper looks over at me.
“I’m staying. I told you I’ll be by your side the entire time.” He looks a bit relieved and looks back over at the doctor.
“I’d like Emma to be here.” He just shakes his head and opens the folder in front of him.
“Like I said, that is your decision. I’m going to be blunt with you, Cooper; your mom is in serious condition right now. When she was brought in, she had been bleeding for a while. Thankfully, someone went to check on her and found her when they did. If it had been just a little longer, you would have lost her already.” I’m listening to the doctor but looking at Cooper. He’s got a mix of emotions flashing across his face--pain, sadness, regret. He’s going to blame himself; I can see it already. I squeeze his hand reassuring him I’m here. He squeezes back, which makes me feel a bit better. “Her heart rate and pulse were almost nonexistent when she arrived. We had to work quickly to get her heart rate back up. Once we were able to do that, she went into cardiac arrest. It was a lot on her heart. However, she did finally open her eyes and speak to me. She actually became extremely mad that I had saved her.” He looks at me with sympathy, and I lower my eyebrows confused as to why he would look at me like this. “She told me she wanted to go be with your father.” Cooper lets the tears roll down his face, and I want to climb into his lap and comfort him. “That’s not all. She said that you chose Emma over her and there was no point in saving her life. She said that Emma took you away and she has no one any more. She tried to rip the stitches out of her wrists, and that’s when we had to give her the sedative.” Holy fuck. I feel like the wind got knocked out of me. She did this because of me. She really believes I’m stealing Cooper from her. I think there is more going on with her then just dealing with the loss of her husband. She’s a very sick woman and she needs professional help. “She left a note for you. I’ll give it to you, but please read it when you’re ready.” He hands Cooper a note that has dried blood on it. “As for now, we are going to keep monitoring her heart. When she wakes up I must tell you, if she tries to hurt herself again, I’ve given the nurses orders to sedate her again. When she is strong enough, the psychologist will be in to talk with you and her. In my professional opinion, I believe she will need to be in a psychiatric hospital after this.” Cooper drops my hand and stands so quickly his chair falls back.
“My mother is not crazy. She is depressed. My father died only four years ago and she has struggled with it greatly. When she leaves this hospital, it will be to come home with me.” Fuck.
“Cooper, relax. Let’s just worry about right now.” He turns his now angry eyes at me.
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do, Emma. She’s here because of you. I should never have left this weekend. I should have been here for her. Instead, I was trying to fucking make sure we were alright. Now look, she almost died and it’s because of you.” Holy shit, if I thought I had the wind knocked out of me before that was nothing compared to this. I cover my mouth to hold back the cry that wants to come out; I can’t, however, hold back my tears.
/> “Cooper, I’m going to have to ask you to sit back down.” He turns those eyes shooting me daggers back to the doctor. “Please son, have a seat.” Cooper gets close, much too close to Dr. Cummings.
