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“I am not your fucking son.” He kicks the chair out of his way and leaves, slamming the door behind him. It’s a struggle to breathe right now as I’m crying so hard. I can’t believe this is the same man that just hours ago was leaving love bites on my breasts, fucking me raw, and telling me I’m his.
“Emma?” I look over at the doctor and he hands me a tissue. “I think the best thing to do for tonight is to go home. This is a lot for Cooper to handle right now, and honestly, he needs to be here and if you not being here is going to help the situation, I think it’s best. I’m sorry.” My stomach churns and I feel the bile in my throat. I rush over to the garbage can and vomit. It’s all too much to handle. I sit on the floor by the trash for a bit until Nurse Larni comes in with a glass of water. She rubs my back, causing the tears to begin to fall again.
“Sweetie, I told you it was going to be a long road. Just be there for him when he’s ready. Now drink some of this water.” I reach a shaking hand out and take the cup from her, drinking the entire thing to get the horrible taste out of my mouth. I slowly start to stand and Dr. Cummings and Nurse Larni help me to a chair. “Emma, do you have someone you can call for a ride home?” I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone.
“Yes,” I croak out. I pull up Rowan’s number and press call.
“Well, hello. How was your weekend? You pregnant yet?” She laughs but it makes me cry harder. “Holy shit, what’s wrong?” I take a few deep breaths to compose myself.
“I’ll fill you in later. Can you pick me up at the hospital? I’ll be out front.” I can hear her grab her keys and slam her front door.
“I’m on my way. Are you hurt?”
“Not the way you’re thinking.” I begin to sob, unable to control it at this point.
“I’m on my way, Em. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Hang on just a little longer.” The sweet way she is with me makes me ache for Cooper. Not the man he was a half hour ago, but the man I fell in love with. “Em, I’m almost there.”
“Okay. I need to hang up. I’ll see you in a few.” I stand up and notice Dr. Cummings left, but Nurse Larni is still here. “My best friend is almost here.” She stands up and gives me a hug.
“Take care sweetie.” Complete strangers are nicer to me then my own boyfriend. I make my way out of the conference room, trying to keep myself together. I don’t want to make a scene in the hospital. I make it to the elevator and step in. I keep swallowing to hold my cries in, because when I rode up in this elevator, it was in Cooper’s arms. The door opens and I rush out of the hospital to wait for Rowan.
I’VE BEEN CRYING, SITTING HERE with my mom. I haven’t cried since my father died. I hadn’t experienced pain like that since. This, it is just as bad. Not only am I at the risk of losing my mom, but I think I may have already lost Emma. I exploded when the doctor told me what happened with my mom. I can’t handle the fact that she is lying here because of me, because of Emma. I wasn’t here when she needed me and this is what happened. She’d rather die than face the fact that I’m with Emma. I’m so fucking torn right now. I love Emma more than anything, but how can I jeopardize my mom like this? I don’t even know where Emma went; I’m guessing she went home. It’s best that she did, because when my mom wakes up I sure as hell don’t want her to see Emma in her hospital room.
I check the clock for the tenth time in fifteen minutes. When the fuck is she going to wake up? As if she can hear my thoughts, she starts to open her eyes. I rush over to her. “Mom? I’m right here; I’m not going anywhere.” She opens her eyes fully and looks up at me.
“Cooper?” I go to hold her hand but she yanks it away. Shit, it probably hurts.
“Yea, Mom. I’m here. How are you feeling?” She tries to sit up, but the bed is lying flat. I press the button to lift the back of the bed slightly. She looks over at me and smiles.
“Better now that you are here. I just wanted to see your dad, but the doctors wouldn’t let me go.” Damn it. She needs me more than ever.
“Well, I’m glad they didn’t let you, Mom. I want you here with me.” I kiss her forehead and she smiles at me.
“What about Emma? She wants to take you away from me. If you are going to be with her, I might as well finish what I started.” I close my eyes realizing I’m going to have to make a choice here. As much as I don’t want to lose Emma, if I stay with her, I will lose my mom, permanently. With my heart broken into a million pieces that will never be put back together, I force a smile.
“No, Mom. I’m not going to be with Emma anymore.” She gives me a huge smile. We talk for a while before the doctor comes in to check on her. He said that her heart looks good, but he wants to keep her in ICU for the night just to make sure. He said tomorrow she will be moved to a different floor. The relief I feel is enormous. The doctor said he’d like her to get some rest, so after about a half-hour I head home, promising to be back first thing in the morning.
Once I get home, I carry in all of the bags from the weekend, including Emma’s guitar and mine. It hurts more than I thought possible, but I can’t do it to my mom. She needs me; I’m all she has. I don’t even get a chance to sit down, and there is a knock on my door. I open it and Levi is standing there with a pizza. “Hey man. I figured you and Emma probably didn’t eat so I brought you guys some pizza.” He walks into the kitchen and I want to fucking punch a hole in my chest to rip out my heart. It would be less painful than this. “How’s your mom?” I walk into the kitchen and take two plates out of the cabinet. I grab some pizza for us both and we stand eating in the kitchen.
“Mom is doing better. The doctor said she should be able to move to a different floor tomorrow. I don’t think I’m going to be able to be with Emma anymore. It’s what caused all this.” He shakes his head finishing off his pizza.
“Coop, we’ve been friends for a long fucking time. I’ve seen you at your worst and at your best. Emma was your best. I know why your mom says she did it, but honestly, man, I think she did it so this exact thing would happen.” I go to interrupt him because he is fucking pissing me off, but he won’t allow it. “Just fucking listen to me. After your dad died, you and your mom hit rock bottom. You climbed out, and she never did. She may have good days, but she’s still at the bottom, man. I don’t even think at this point her episodes are because of your dad; I think she’s got a lot of problems and when you aren’t around she shows up. I know you never noticed it, but I have. Whenever you have something good going on, she suddenly has an episode.” I’m beyond furious with him. I can’t remember a time I wanted to punch him, but right now I want to punch him right in his mouth for what he said.
“Levi, get the fuck out of my apartment. You have no idea what you are talking about. My mom is depressed from losing her husband, the love of her life. She needs me and I sure as fuck won’t let her down.” He shakes his head at me.
“Coop, I’m just being honest with you. If you want to lose the best thing that ever happened to you, the love of your life, well, maybe I’ll be taking care of you when you get episodes later in life when your mom is gone.” This time I don’t hold back. I punch him right in his jaw.
“Fuck you, Levi. Get out. NOW!” He walks to the door holding his jaw and opens it. He turns around to look at me.
“Don’t deny your mom the help she needs so that you can keep on believing everything is fine. When the doctors want to put her in the psychiatric hospital, fucking do it. As for Emma, I hope like hell that she is able to find a real man to take care of her.” Just as I push off the counter to go after him, he slams the door. What a fucking asshole. I can’t believe he would come here and talk such a load of shit to me. Who the fuck does he think he is? I know my mom needs help, but she doesn’t need to be in a fucking psychiatric hospital. She needs me. As for Emma, the thought of her with a
nother man makes me see red. I will fucking kill someone before they touch what is mine. “FUCK!” I punch the cabinet so hard that it makes my knuckles bleed. She’s not mine anymore.
I wake up the next morning with a headache and a fucking sore hand. I take a quick shower before I head to the hospital. I stop to grab a coffee and bagel on my way. I haven’t stopped thinking about everything that happened last night with Levi. He’s got my mind all fucked up and my heart hurting worse. It’s becoming more than I can handle, but I’ve got no choice. I need to be with my mom and get back to the bar for opening. I’ve pushed off my responsibilities on Roy too long as it is.
I get up to ICU and head straight to my mom’s room. When I walk in, she is laughing with the nurse. It makes me smile for the first time. “Cooper.” I go over to give her a kiss.
“Morning, Mom. How are you feeling?” She rolls her eyes and looks at the nurse before looking back at me.
