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“Do you regret it?” I snarl once I’m back in my corner, and as always, I’m met with stony silence. Changing tactics, I ask, “Did it feel good to kill your old friend? To shatter my world?” After all the time we’ve spent together, I don’t even try to hide the pain in my voice.
Unlike with my guys, I allow my pet to hear me fall apart—but he doesn’t get to see it. I’m the one who’s cowardly hiding in the dark down here. And when I’m not, I’m hiding behind other things.
I already know I’m probably hurting Coen, Kas, and Alec with my mask of indifference, but I don’t know how to remove it when I’m around them. It’s not that I won’t let them see my tears. It’s that I don’t know how to. Especially not when they’re always followed by an overwhelming need to burn down the world, to inflict some of the pain I feel in my soul.
“What do you want me to say, you cunt? Do you want to hear how amazing it felt to see the disbelief in your eyes? To hear his body fall to the floor?”
My pet is getting feisty, which is good. That means we can play in different ways now.
Letting my anger wash over me, I pull the small glass shard from my jeans while walking over to him.
“Where do you want it?” I ask in a voice that’s void of all emotions.
As always, I get no answer. “Dealer’s choice then,” I quip as I move closer, reaching for whatever part of him I can get to.
It doesn’t take me long to get a hold of his arm, and I waste no time in bringing my small weapon to his skin. With as much accuracy as possible without being able to see, I slice the glass across his skin three times. His hitched breath and mumbled curses make my heart rate skyrocket, and I’m tempted to switch the light on so I can see my handiwork. But I don’t.
“Good boy,” I praise.
The first few times I did this, he would try to fight me, but he hasn’t done that since I threatened to go for his eye. Although he didn’t believe me at first, his tune changed when I let the shard caress his face. Since then, I promised to stay away from his face if he didn’t fight me. He gave up after trying to resist me a few times, each ending with more wounds on his body than mine.
Even the insults have lessened, at least when we’re alone, making me think he’s growing accustomed to his fate.
The days blend together down in the basement. If it wasn’t for Alec, Kas, and Coen insisting I come up for air once a day, I probably wouldn’t even notice the days passing.
“You’ve ruined so many things, but you already know that. You stole the man I owe everything to, you made me cheat on the guys, and you threatened an innocent girl—”
My pet interrupts me with his angry outburst. “They’re not yours. You’re mine.”
I make a shushing sound and continue, “It’s rude to interrupt someone, but we’ll get to that later. For now, I want to assure you I’m not yours, and I never was.” I practically spit the words. Anger pulsing through me at his audacious claim. “You may have forced me to my knees, however, that just proves you were playing the game better. Maybe you are more ruthless than I am. Actually, I hope you are. But that’s neither here nor there. You had to force my obedience since I never went willingly. And even then… Even then, I wasn’t yours.”
I can hear the sound of the metal as he moves his arms, and I almost wish I could see if he’s pulling at them in an attempt to break free. If so, good luck. All three of my guys have tested those chains, and they didn’t budge.
“You’ve always been mine. It’s better to accept it now. I will always treat you better than he will—I mean, than anyone else will.” There’s no heat in the words. If anything, they sound almost pleading, which confuses me.
Cocking my head to the side, I pick up on what he said before trying to backtrack. This is the second time Neil mentions someone else. Just because I haven’t commented on it so far doesn’t mean I haven’t picked up on it. “Who is he?” I ask.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Strike one!
“Why did you kill Mark?” It’s been a week since Mark’s passing, but it has not gotten easier to ask the question.
Instead of fighting it, I welcome the ache in my heart and the tears that fall. I never want to become desensitized to the horror I lived through. I want it to fuel me and drive me forward in my quest for answers and revenge.
“Answer me!” I snap when he says nothing. “Something tells me you’ve grown tired of our twenty questions, so I would be happy to make it more interesting,” I offer while mentally considering ways to spice things up.
I allow a few minutes to pass while I ruminate on what I can do to him. The random cuts don’t seem to have much of a lasting effect. Coen told me he removed some of Woofer’s teeth when he bit him, so I could always ask him to do that… Or I could—
“Sweets, are you coming upstairs to eat?” I sigh at Kas’ poorly timed arrival.
Knowing that they’ll come down here if I don’t come upstairs, I don’t want that. They always switch the light on. The last time they did that, I saw the wounds I had inflicted on my pet, making me feel bad. Yep, I fucking felt guilty for hurting the bastard who killed Mark, something I never want to feel again.
“To be continued,” I hiss to the shadow before I bounce up the stairs.
As soon as I reach the last step, where Kas is waiting for me, I feel my mask snap into place.
“Alec found some new healthy wannabe pasta recipe, so blink once if you need rescuing and want to flee to a junk food place.” My lips twitch at his joke, which, in all probability, isn’t a joke at all.
