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Trek
I’m healing. I’m getting stronger. But that doesn’t mean my mind is healing too. It isn’t. I can see it, feel it, smell it. Every fucking scent, everything they did to me. It never ends. It’s a vicious cycle. I find myself reaching out for Heidi at night, pulling her close to me, begging the fucking dreams to go away. They don’t. They stay, haunting me. I want to hold her close. I want to keep her near me because that’s the only way I feel like I’m a man.
“You okay?” Heidi asks me.
“Fine.”
“You’re not fine.”
“Why don’t you get naked and come ride my cock,” I tell her. She walks over and stands next to the bed.
“It’s not that I don’t want to.”
“Then get the fuck up here and ride me,” I tell her. She’s been acting off the last few days, and it’s bothering me. All I want is to have sex. I want to fuck her in every way I can just to prove to myself I’m still a fucking man.
“Come on, Trek. This can’t be what you want. There’s a guy in the basement.”
“And I’m gonna kill him. But I want you ridin’ me first,” I tell her.
“What is it you’re doing, Trek?” Pissed off, I throw the blanket off myself and sit on the edge of the bed. I don’t know what the problem is, but I need my cock sucked. I pull my cock out of my boxers and begin stroking it. Heidi watches me, an angry glint in her eye.
“I’m gettin’ myself off is what I’m doin’.”
“What’s this all about? I don’t mind having sex with you, but you’ve been different.” The thoughts swarm my head, and suddenly, I don’t feel like fucking anymore. Instead, I stand to my feet and pull my boxers back up.
“This is bullshit.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You wanna know what my problem is? I was fuckin’ raped! I was raped, Heidi.” Fuck! I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to say those words, yet they spilled from my mouth like poison.
“I know, Trek. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. It wasn’t your fault. I just feel like I need to be with you. I need to know that you’re real,” I tell her. She walks over, places her hands on my chest, and looks up at me.
“I’m real, Trek. I’m here, and I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there, remember? I’ve been on the receiving end of that shit.”
“I know you have, but this is different,” I argue.
“It’s not. You were used and broken. I know that feeling, and you helped me with it, Trek. You helped me get better. Tell me what I can do to help you.” She’s nearly begging me. I hate that Heidi thinks she needs to help me. I hate I need her to. And I don’t want that. I don’t want to feel that.
“I don’t know what I need, Heidi. I don’t like feelin’ like this,” I confess to her. Her hands wrap around my neck, pulling my lips to hers. She kisses me hard before sliding her tongue into my mouth. I moan and wind my hand into her hair, tugging her head back before licking my way down her neck. I bite into her flesh and listen as she moans my name. This is what I need. This is what I need from her. I need everything. I need to feel like I’m a man. A man who is capable of pleasing his woman. And that’s what she is. She’s mine.
A growl escapes my throat as I kiss my way back to her mouth. My tongue dips between her lips, and I take all I can get. I back her against the wall before I pull my cock free. Glad she’s naked, I lift her in my arms and wince at the pain that still lingers in my ribs. Then I’m thrusting into her ignoring the pain. I need this. I need her.
Heidi wiggles and I can’t stop the groans that fall from my lips as I fuck her against the wall. She takes everything I have to give and then some. I buck my hips getting deeper inside of her, but I know this isn’t going to last long. I have too much pent-up frustration, and I need this. I need to come.
I feel the tingle way too soon as I buck into her. Then I explode, coming so hard lights flash behind my eyes. This is what she does to me. When I finish, I pull out of her and let her feet hit the floor. She looks up at me, her arms still around my neck.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m better now.” She gives me a soft smile before I move and grab my clothes. There’s an asshole in the basement I need to take care of.
“I’m gonna kill him,” I tell her.
“I know you are.”
“And you’re okay with that?” I ask her as I pull my boxers and jeans on.
“I’m perfectly okay with that.”
“You won’t see me differently?” I ask her.
“No. I’ll see you as my savior. As the man who saved me,” she tells me, making my chest swell with pride. I know things have shifted between us, and I know that’s all Victor’s fault. I’m hoping I will get back to somewhat normal after killing that son of a bitch.
“I hate what he did to me,” I admit to her. I don’t like talking about this, but I have to let her know. I have to confide in someone, and it’s going to be her.
“You can’t change it. You have to learn to deal with it. You’re strong, Trek. You can handle this,” she tells me. I walk over and place my hand on the back of her neck, pulling her face toward mine. Then I kiss her hard. I don’t let her pull away. I don’t let her move. I kiss her like my life depends on it. I kiss her until she’s breathless. I pull back and rest my forehead against hers.
“I need you to get past this,” I tell her. She smiles and pecks a kiss on my lips.
“I’m not going anywhere. I think I need you to,” she tells me.
“Good girl. You’re mine. I’m keepin’ you.”
“I think I like the sound of that.”
“I got a motherfucker to kill,” I tell her. She nods her head, her smile falling away.
“Make him pay.”
“I plan on it.” I pull away from her and walk over, grabbing a clean t-shirt and pulling it over my head. After shoving my feet into my boots, I walk toward the door, ready to handle this shit. I took a few days to gain some strength, but now I’m ready. I’m ready to end this shit.
Walking into the main room, the guys all look up from what they’re doing. Demon eyes me before I nod, letting him know it’s game time. He nods and stands from his chair, motioning to the others. We walk as a pack, as a family toward the basement. I pull the door open, and the air shifts. I know what this is. I know what’s about to happen. I know that this won’t fix everything for me, but it will help her. And that’s my goal. To help her.
“You ready for this?” Drake asks as he follows along behind me.
“I’m ready.”
“Good. I didn’t want that motherfucker alive much longer.”
When we walk into the room, he’s naked and tied to a table, much like I was. The thought of what he did to me, had done to me, hits hard. A shudder runs through me as I glance around and find the broom. Then I walk over as the guys stand around in a circle watching.
“You fucked me over, and now it’s my turn to return the favor.”
“Fuck you!” He growls as I take the broom handle and shove it up his ass. I fuck him hard and long. I force the handle into him the same way those assholes fucked me. His screams are everything. His cries make it all worth it. He begs, pleads, and cries out in pain. I ignore him just the same as I was ignored. Just the same as I’m sure Heidi was ignored.
Blood seeps out of him before I drop the broom and move toward his head. Pulling my knife from the sheath, I grab his hair and pull his head up.
“You liked watchin’, didn’t you?”
“Fuck you,” he says weakly.
“No, it’s not fuck me. I think I fucked you,” I tell him. I want to drag this out. I want to make him suffer, but at the same time, I want to snap his goddamn neck. I want this to be over. So I slide the knife along his throat, watching as he gags and gasps for air. I watch as life slowly leaves his body. His eyes find mine as I kneel in front of him. And I watch. I watch his life leave his body, and even when his stare is blank, I keep staring at him.
“He’s dead,” Drake announces.
“He hurt her,” I remind them.
“He hurt us,” Drake says. I nod my head as I look into Victor’s now lifeless eyes, and I don’t know if I made him suffer enough. I stand and walk to his side, jamming my knife into his dead body over and over as I roar. I should have done this while he was alive. I should have made him pay while he was breathing. Instead, I scream as I stab him over and over until Demon slams into me and pulls me away.
“He’s dead, brother!”
“Fuck him! Fuck what he had done to us!” I scream as I try to pull out of his arms. I move toward the asshole once more, but the guys cut me off. They stop me, but that doesn’t stop the roar falling from my lips.
