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It was . . . everything. Of course, I cried like a baby, and the doctor had to give me a few minutes to calm down. Again, being extra emotional during pregnancy. Totally normal.
“I wish I could have been there.” Ryan’s voice is quiet.
“Me too.” I swallow. This is harder than I thought. It sucks to know he wanted to be there but couldn’t be. Especially since I wanted him to be there. The waiting room at the doctor became so overwhelming I had to block out the happy couples because it hurt my chest.
And we’re only at the beginning of the pregnancy. How much worse will this get over the rest of this journey? And then once the baby is born?
“Your next appointment is in a month, right?” His smile is small, but it’s there.
“Yes. I’ll have monthly appointments during the first and second trimester, then two a month until it switches to weekly in the last month.”
“That sounds like a lot of appointments.”
“It does. But I’m glad they check on the baby so much.” I roll my lips and try to get my brain to work. My memory has taken such a dive lately. “I also have the first trimester screening in a month. It’s done at a different place. They do more blood tests and another ultrasound to see if all the organs develop correctly and whatnot.”
“That’s good. And that’s also in March, you said? Like your next regular appointment?” He swallows, his Adam’s apple prominent.
I nod again. “Do you want me to text you all the info so you know what appointments I have when and where?”
“That would be great. Thanks.” He’s smiling, but then his expression turns serious. “Also, we need to talk about money. I want to pay for all the doctors’ fees, Harper.”
Ugh. I hate talking about money. It’s such a weird topic, and I’m all itchy just thinking about it. “Can we not?”
Ryan shrugs. “We don’t have to talk about it as long as you’ll let me pay for it. It’s the least I can do.”
“Let’s talk about it later.” Or never. I appreciate him wanting to help financially, but it feels wrong to throw myself at his money. Especially since I haven’t really had any expenses so far. “The doctor won’t bill for the regular prenatal visits until the pregnancy is over, and I haven’t had any other appointments yet.”
“Fine, but I won’t back off from that.”
“Got it.” I roll my eyes.
“Don’t be stubborn, Harper. I won’t have an issue bending you over . . .” He stops and shuts his mouth, averting his gaze from the screen.
Oh. My. Goodness.
He did not just say that. Or rather was about to say that.
“Ryan?” My voice sounds innocent. I don’t know what’s happening, but my veins are suddenly filled with boiling lava. “What were you gonna say?”
“Shit. Nothing.”
I raise my eyebrows, prompting him.
Nothing, my ass.
“Tell me.” My voice has turned into pure honey, silky smooth and sweet. Baiting him. Wanting him to lose the control he seems to be holding on to.
“Fuuuck.” He stares at me, his brown eyes burning with heat as he leans closer to the computer. “I was going to say that I’d have no problems bending you over my knee and spanking that fine ass of yours.”
No apology. No explanation.
Just the honest truth. And if that isn’t hot as hell.
I lean in closer too, almost on autopilot. “I’d like to see you try.”
I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I want to rip off my clothes right this second. My skin is sensitive, and I’m burning up on the inside. A ball of lust forms in my belly, traveling south, the buzzing spreading between my legs with such an intensity, I almost moan.
“Harper.” He growls my name, and it sounds unfamiliar. Feral and erotic. Seductive and possessive.
