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Her expression is full of pain, and I can’t decide if it makes me feel better or worse. “Shit. I wish I knew where Beckett’s damn business card was. I’m so sorry. I’m going through everything again tomorrow, I promise.”
“Really not your fault, but thank you, I appreciate it.”
We’re both quiet for a moment until Tara clears her throat. “Does that mean you’re keeping the baby for sure?”
The nod comes almost automatically, followed by the tiniest smile. There wasn’t even a second of hesitation when I saw the positive sign on the first test this morning. Tears silently roll down my cheeks, and I finally grab a tissue from the table.
Tara leans closer to the camera. “Listen to me, I know you had one hell of a year and that it might not seem too rosy right now, but you’ll figure things out. And I’ll help as much as I can from over here, I promise. Just . . . just try and stay positive. You’re a lot tougher than you think you are.”
“Thanks.” My thoughts are all over the place, and I’m still having a hard time processing this situation, but I nod anyway. There’s no need to pull Tara down any more than I already have.
“Somehow it’ll all work out, I just know it.”
I laugh at her comment. “Are you psychic now?”
She chuckles. “No, but . . . I don’t know. I’m simply a big believer in good things happening to good people, I guess. And you’re one of the best people out there, long overdue for some luck.”
“Thanks, Tara.” I fiddle with my shirtsleeves and look back at her, blinking a few times. After grabbing another tissue, I wipe my eyes and nose. “Let’s talk about something else because I really wasn’t planning on crying all day. Tell me all about your new fancy British job. Are you all settled?”
She studies me for several seconds, then nods. “It’s been great. I’ve got a lot to learn and adjust to how the team works in the European publishing market, but I’ll get there. Everyone I’ve met is super friendly, and even though the weather is crappy, I’m loving it here.”
“That’s awesome. I’m happy for you.” And I am. Of course, I’m sad and frustrated that she’s over three thousand miles away, but she’s wanted to move to England for as long as I can remember. Always reading about it and watching YouTube videos about it.
The instant an opportunity came up to work at the sister publishing branch of her company, she took it.
I couldn’t be further from that.
I took one chance, and now I’m in this irreversible situation. Well, there is one way out, but I can’t even think about that alternative.
Tara opens her mouth just as the phone rings next to me.
My anxiety levels spike at the name on the screen. “It’s my dad.”
“Talk to him. I can tell you all about the constant rain and my work next time.”
“Sounds good.”
“And remember, I’m only a phone call away. I’m always here if you want to talk. You’re not alone in this.”
The tears are threatening to come back, so I nod and squeeze out a, “Thank you.”
“Always. Love you, Harps.”
“Love you too. Bye.”
I close my laptop and take a moment to pull myself together. It’s time to call back my dad.
He answers right after the first ring. “Harper?”
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, how are you?”
Goodness. I can’t remember the last time a simple question felt this loaded, but all the ways I want to answer aren’t an option at this point. I’m not sure when I’ll be ready to tell my parents, but I know this isn’t the right time. I need some more time to process all of this.
“I’m good. How are you?” My voice sounds off, all shaky and soft, but I hope he won’t notice.
“All good. Same old here.” He’s quiet after that, probably waiting for me to say something, but somehow my brain’s completely empty.
