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VERA
It must’ve been that guy that had been following me. For the second night in a row, I couldn’t make my paranoid brain shut down. Every time I closed my eyes, I imagined the door swinging open and someone coming inside.
And for the second time in the row, I got up with an excuse of a midnight snack, only to find Sean at the dining room table, reading over some paperwork.
He looked up at me, holding eye contact for a few seconds before lowering his gaze to my lips. “Hi there, darling.”
“Hi. What are you working on?” I stepped closer to find Glen’s tests, all resulting in Fs except the one from this week.
“He’s not doing too hot,” Sean said.
“It’s the way they teach math." Really, it was. I wasn't just getting defensive on Glen's behalf.
Sean nodded and handed me the latest result with a big fat B on it. “You helped him a lot.”
“I’ll keep tutoring him, then,” I said.
“Thanks.” Sean picked my hand up and kissed my knuckles. “Is insomnia kicking your ass again or did you miss me?”
“I think that guy following me today must’ve spooked me. I keep thinking someone will get to me in my sleep again.”
“Again?” Sean repeated, his voice growing cold.
Well, I shouldn’t have said that. “It was a long time ago. Doesn’t matter now.”
“It matters if it keeps you up at night.” Instead of the usual softness of sympathy I got from people, Sean’s voice remained hard.
I looked up at him, seeing the dangerous edge of his mood, but it wasn’t directed at me, not like it had been when Tina had found out that… well, that didn’t matter either.
“Really, it’s okay,” I said. “The guy’s in jail, so it’s not like he can hurt me. It's just my mind playing tricks on me.”
“Is that why you got emancipated?” he asked.
I nodded, not wanting to talk about it anymore. Those memories might haunt me for the rest of my life, but I had deserved it. I should have listened to Ljuba back at the orphanage.
Sean looked at me expectantly, waiting for the beans to spill.
“It was my adopted father,” I said. “He said if I didn’t go along with it, he’d go for my sisters, so I let him do it.”
“Vera.” Now Sean’s voice went all soft, making me die inside just a little more, especially when his thumb brushed over my cheek.
“Don’t,” I said, moving away from him. “I don’t want sympathy.”
“I kinda want to kill him right now,” Sean said, steel returning to his voice.
I smiled at that. “I killed him a few times in my mind. Forgive and forget had never been my strong suit.”
“Anything I can do to help you get some sleep?” Sean asked.
Nothing that couldn’t potentially make things worse.
“Just don’t be gentle with me, okay? He’d always get gentle when I cried, so it triggers all the wrong memories.”
Sean ran his rough thumb over my knuckles, then gripped my hand tighter. “Was that why you wanted me to fuck you like I hate you?”
I nodded. “Sex was always hard for me.”
“We don’t have to have sex. I just want you to feel safe.”
