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I’d pushed her away.
I’d stopped us from doing more.
I’d told her nothing could ever happen again.
“But you should be banging her,” Dominick said.
I’d been home for two weeks.
And it had been two weeks of fucking torture.
“Except you know I can’t,” I replied to Dominick. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone you can trust to take care of your kid?”
“Can’t be that hard,” Declan said. “You had Hannah watch her, and I wouldn’t trust her babysitting my fucking fish.”
“Watch it,” Camden warned.
“This guy,” I said, pointing at Declan, shaking my head.
“You need to convince me why you and Sydney would be a bad idea because I’m still not buying any of your excuses,” Jenner voiced, leaning onto the table to get closer to me. “She works for you—I don’t see that as an issue. She’s Everly’s nanny—I don’t see why she would have to stop being her nanny, so there’s no problem there. What else you got, brother?”
I drained my scotch, hoping like hell the waitress would hurry up with our shots. Once the burn finally subsided, I replied, “The issue is, if things didn’t work out between us, then I’d have no nanny, and Everly would lose another woman in her life. That’s what I tell you guys every time we discuss this. It hasn’t changed. It’s still a problem.”
“Ford, relationships don’t always last. We’re human. Not a single thing in life is guaranteed. I could wake up tomorrow, and Kendall might not want anything to do with me. Jenner could return home tonight and find Jo had moved all her shit out. James could come to her fucking senses and leave Brett’s ass—”
“Don’t even put that into the universe,” Brett said.
Dominick chuckled. “What I’m saying is, women will come and go from Everly’s life regardless of if you try and stop it.”
“Sydney isn’t the only constant in Eve’s life,” Jenner voiced. “There’s Hannah and Mom. Jo and Kendall too.”
I understood their points.
There had been times over the last few weeks when I almost told Sydney how I felt about her. That I was positive I couldn’t let another second pass without her knowing that I wanted her.
That I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
That I’d been doing everything in my power not to wrap my arms around her.
But, goddamn it, I just couldn’t say those words.
Maybe it was weakness.
Maybe I just couldn’t cave when it came to my daughter’s needs, protecting her to the point that I would sacrifice my happiness.
Maybe, in some way, I was protecting myself.
“Trust me, there are millions of other nannies out there,” Brett said. “In fact, if you need me to, I can steal one of Angelina Jolie’s.” He pulled out his phone. “You know that woman’s got a busload of kids and a house full of help. I’ve got her number. Give me ten minutes. I’ll have one of her nannies drive here for an interview.”
I shook my head. “You’re fucking wild …”
“Nah, I’m just tired of you being the single dad when there’s a girl in your house right now who’s fucking dying to be with you.”
“How do you know that?” I challenged Brett.
“We all do,” Jenner said.
I looked at Dominick, and he was nodding.
“How?” I asked. “How could you possibly know that?”
“I stopped by your place while you were on your work trip,” Dominick said. “I had a few things I wanted to give to Eve, and while I was there, I happened to mention your name to Sydney.” He smiled. “That girl’s face lit up like a fucking Christmas tree.”
“She has it bad for him, doesn’t she?” Declan said.
“You have no idea,” Dominick replied, like I wasn’t sitting at the fucking table with them, hearing every word of this.
“Dude, I saw the same thing last week,” Jenner said, his eyes now on me. “When she stopped by the office with Everly and I came in to talk to you. The way she was looking at you”—he sighed—“man, there’s no question in my mind. That girl has feelings, and they’re strong.”
She had feelings.
I could sense that the night in my kitchen.
The way she had tried to take care of me over FaceTime.
But what the hell am I supposed to do?
Put myself first and Everly second?
“There’s more,” Brett said.
“More?” I wrapped my hand around my empty glass, squeezing it in my palm. “How could there be more?”
Brett rested his arms on the table, folding his hands together. “When you gave her the ultimatum, she knew better than to choose you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“With your track record, she’d lose you to Everly. I’m sure she figured that out. Did she go in through the back door? Maybe. If I were in her shoes, that’s what I would have done. But does it matter? Hell no. Because while she’s been falling for your daughter, you’ve been falling for her.” He moved in closer. “Look me in the face and deny it.”
I shook my head, exhaling.
“You can’t, can you?” Brett tested.
