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They both beam at me. “We’re so proud! When do you leave?” Reese asks.
“Around April,” I say, letting out the deep breath I sucked in. I want to be happy. I want to know this is going to be the start of my new life, but I just feel empty. I miss Jude. I want him here, beside me, cheering me on. I want to know that he’ll be there whenever I want to call him or need him. Swallowing a sob, I whisper, “I just wish Jude was here.”
“I know, sweetheart,” Reese says, running her thumb along my cheek, and we share a long, loving look.
“He was,” Phillip says.
I whip my head toward him as I screech, “What?!”
“Yeah, I’m here.”
I turn around, and I honestly feel like I’m going to pass out. Meeting Jude’s green eyes, I’m breathless, and I swear my heart stops at the sight of him. I haven’t seen him since the game and nothing has changed. He stills looks sad, his eyes dark and his beard growing thickly – which is so damn sexy, in my opinion. Taking in a breath, I whisper, “You came.”
“I did,” he says, his eyes locked to mine.
My whole body catches on fire, my heart clanking against my ribs, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. Breathing deeply, I say, “I’m so glad you did. Thank you.”
He nods and his eyes cut to where Phillip and Reese are watching us. I look over at them with wide eyes that say “Get the hell out of here!”
Thankfully Reese catches on and pulls Phillip’s arm. “Let’s go. Claire, call us when you’re done. We’ll go celebrate.”
“Huh?” Phillip says, confused. “I want to know what happens.”
“No! Let’s go,” she urges, sending a grin at Jude. “So nice to see you, Jude.”
“Nice seeing you, Reese,” he says before looking down at the ground.
“I’m not going home, Claire. We’re going to get barbecue,” Phillip says, annoyed, and I give him a dark look.
“I’ll meet you there,” I say as they get into the car with only a wave from Reese. When they pull away, I look back over at Jude and say, “Maybe you would like to come?”
He looks up at me and shrugs. “Maybe.”
Well, that’s hopeful, right? I hope so because I don’t think my heart can take any more. It is pounding hard against my ribs, my breath coming out in spurts, and I honestly don’t know what is going to happen here. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know if I should move, I can’t do anything but look deep into those emerald green eyes and hope to God I get the chance to look at them for the rest of my life.
“I miss you,” he whispers, his lips moving ever so slowly, and I swear those words are music to my ears.
I don’t even realize I’m crying again until the tears are running into my mouth. “I miss you, Jude. So damn much.”
“I’m sorry,” he says then. “I’m sorry for ignoring you and pulling away the way I have.”
“I understand why you did,” I say, my hands shaking at my sides.
“I’m scared, Claire,” he says, his own eyes filling with tears, and it fucking kills me. “I’m scared that I’m going to trust you and then you’ll break me again. I mean, I know this is probably not as big a deal as I’m making it, but I don’t do lying. I’ve been one hundred percent honest with you. I never lied, and you held this part of you away from me? Is it ’cause you thought I wouldn’t support you?”
I nod slowly. “I didn’t think you’d want me if you knew I danced like this.”
“Did you give me the chance, though?”
I shake my head, biting into my lips because he may very well miss me, and probably still loves me, but if he can’t trust me, what is the point?
“No, I didn’t,” I whisper. “And I know that’s wrong, but I couldn’t lose you. I knew the dancing wasn’t forever, I knew that it was just until I got the money I needed, and then I would quit. I had nothing, Jude, and I refused to live through that again. I don’t ever want to go back to that life, where being alive didn’t matter. A time when I didn’t believe in anything.” My throat is closed tight with emotion, and I have to look away to compose myself. “I thought I was going to be her; I thought I was going to be alone, no one loving me, and I couldn’t do it. I knew that I had to work. I had to make sure that I never quit and did everything I could to secure my future. I thought I was on my own. I never believed in trusting someone, in being in love, but Jude, that all changed the moment I met you. You’ve opened my eyes, my heart, and now I know I don’t need anything but the love of the people I love.”
Chancing it, I take a step toward him, and thank God, he doesn’t move. I then reach out, lacing my fingers with his, and I shake all over from the connection. I’ve been dreaming of touching him for the last two weeks, and to feel his warm, callused hands against mine causes the tears to almost choke me as I try to talk again. Taking in a deep breath, I clear my throat and very softly, I say, “Everyone makes mistakes, and I made the biggest one, but I promise you I will work my ass off to prove that I love you and that I will never lie to you or hurt you again. All I need is another chance. All I need is for you believe in me. I just need you to trust me again.”
His eyes are swimming in tears as he looks into my eyes intensely. His chest is rising and falling very quickly, his lips parted as he breathes in and out. My stomach feels empty, fluttery even, and everything inside me is frozen waiting for him to respond. When his lips start to move, nothing comes out, and I squeeze his fingers, my heart stopping. Suddenly he brings me to him and then his lips are moving against mine. I sob against his lips, crumpling into his arms as he holds me close to him. Kissing my lips, the side of my mouth, my nose. A hysterical laugh leaves my lips, but when his lips meet mine again, I close my eyes tight, savoring this moment.
When we part, he cups my face, looking deep into my eyes and everything just feels perfect. Magical even. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I smile and he smiles back.
