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My heart aches for my best friend. “Yeah, she told me that. But since your dad passed, I guess it hasn’t been as easy.”
He nods slowly as he unloads the basket. “Yeah, she and my dad were a lot alike. The classic father-daughter relationship. I was jealous of how much he loved her—she was his baby—which I think is why I idolize my uncle so much. Though, now I feel guilty for that.”
My heart constricts in my chest. “Why?”
“Because I should have idolized my dad.” He hands me a plate, and I take it before he leans back in the pillows, holding his plate. But he doesn’t look at me. He’s lost in his own thoughts. “My dad was amazing, a really good man, but he didn’t push me the way I wanted to be pushed when it came to hockey. He wanted me to do what made me happy, but he didn’t want me to kill myself. Not when I had a job with him and security.”
I tilt my head in question. “What do you mean?”
“My dad had this insanely successful real estate business that my mom now runs. It is supposed to go to Amelia or me. We think Amelia will take it since I’m going into the NHL and all, but my dad wanted me to start there as soon as I graduated high school. Instead, I went to college to study to be an athletic trainer. I don’t want to do real estate. I want to do hockey. Only hockey. And if I can’t play, I want to help players rehab and be ready for the ice.”
His eyes are bright and his face full of such beautiful passion. It knocks the air out of me as I watch him. “I didn’t know that was your major.”
He nods. “Yeah, not to toot my own horn, but I’m the best in my field in our graduating class. It’s natural to me, and I love the way the body works.”
I know he didn’t mean that sexually, but boy, did my mind wander there.
I swallow hard as I fork a few pieces of pasta salad. “So was your dad mad you chose training and hockey?”
He shrugs, and I hate that he won’t look at me. “He wasn’t happy, and it was the first time I ever saw him and Shea get into it. The fight was so bad, and I took my uncle’s side. So did my mom. Dad didn’t talk to any of us for a couple days, and I regret that the most.”
“Yeah, fights suck.”
He shakes his head, swallowing hard. “It wasn’t only that, though they do, and fights in a family that is so close like ours really suck. But a week later, we found out about the cancer.”
My heart jerks in my chest. “Oh. That’s awful.”
“Yeah, cancer is a fucking bitch. I shouldn’t have been mad at him. It was stupid. He was my dad, and I know he wanted what was best for me. Before I could show him that hockey is what’s best for me, the fucking cancer took him so quickly.”
“Oh, Ryan—”
He waves me off. “We had no clue. We didn’t even have time to prepare. He went from being my dad, strong and tough, to being my dad in a wheelchair, unable to move. We watched him wither away for a year. It sucked so damn bad. It was extremely hard on my mom and Amelia. Even my cousins were a mess. We all were, and I felt like it was my job to carry all their pain and ignore mine. You can imagine how that ended.”
“Not good?”
“Nope, I was a mess, but I’m doing way better now. Thanks to grief counseling.”
I feel like something is lodged in my throat. I’m unsure what to say, so I whisper, “It was his colon, right?”
He nods grimly. “Yeah, but it moved all over the fucking place so quickly.”
My heart can’t handle it. Putting my plate down, I stand up, and he looks up at me, confused, but I can’t take it. Stepping over the basket, I sit down beside him, taking his plate from him and setting it down. His eyes are wide until I wrap my arms around his neck, climbing into his lap. It doesn’t take long before he is hugging me tightly. “I’m so sorry.”
He moves his face into my neck, inhaling deeply, his whole body moving with the motion. “Thanks.”
“But I think your dad knew you loved him, and we all know he loved you. All the stories Amelia tells me, he just seems like such a great dad.”
He smiles against my neck. “He was the best. Always there for me, but I was such a dick to him.”
“You wanted your dreams, and he just wanted you to be happy.”
He nods. “I wish I could take it all back.”
“I know. I wish you could too.”
He pulls back, and his eyes are dark, unlike the stunning blue they usually are. He doesn’t have tears in his eyes, but the emotion is there. He runs his hand down my legs, and he smiles as he hugs my legs close to his ribs. “My dad proposed to my mom here.”
My heart thrums in my chest. “Really?”
“Yeah, it’s a funny story, actually,” he says with a soft chuckle. “My mom was in it for the sex—I know, gag,” he says, adding in the gagging motion, and I laugh. He smiles up at me, and instantly, my heart jumps in my throat. “But my dad loved her from the moment he met her. He knocked her up, with me, and we always joked he did it on purpose to keep her. Though he never copped to it, we all knew how much he loved my mom. Well, I must have been cooking for about four months, and she tried so hard to shake him, but he wasn’t going anywhere. He brought her out here—the pergola wasn’t here yet, it was just a field. They added this when my dad bought her this land as a ten-year anniversary gift—”
“Aw! That’s so sweet,” I gush, completely engrossed in his story.
He smiles. “He said this was the spot where he knew she fell for him. He had bought the ring for her the day he met her, and he always carried it. So they were here, and he was telling her how gorgeous she was and how he couldn’t get enough of her, and he said her eyes just changed, and he knew right then that he was proposing.”
“Oh my God,” I say softly, and he nods.
“She said no.”
“No!” I laugh, and he laughs with me.
“Oh yeah, she was such a jerk.” He shakes his head. “So for the next twenty-seven days, he asked every day. Finally, after another date out here, she said yes.”
My eyes search his as he grins up at me, cupping my face in his hands. “That sounds oddly familiar, but with us.”
He flashes me a devastating smile. “Now you know why I was so persistent. I know what I want, and it’s you.”
I just gawk at him. “Me?”
