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She released her breath and looked up at the ceiling. What the hell was that? Jonah was a hot guy, but he was also her roommate and coworker. They’d brushed aside the incident she’d witnessed and had actually done well this week. But last night, his lips to her ear, his hand on her thigh, his body holding hers. She sank into that decadent warm feeling for a second.
All these thoughts didn’t help her tame this longing swirling around her insides. She straightened up and got busy.
Quickly she put on her own clothes and felt a small hint of relief at seeing she really hadn’t changed. The mirror showed the same plain Lacy. Even though her cheeks had extra color in them. She shook her head at her reflection and grabbed the outfit.
Tonight, she would focus on Logan and see if she could break through his perception of her being the office puppy. She’d try to push Jonah on Claire. That way she wouldn’t feel guilty about ignoring him and his words that turned her inside out.
She paid for the clothes as Jonah leaned against the wall next to the door. Resolved to just be friends with Jonah, she walked up to him and smiled. “Ready for lunch?”
* * *
Lacy spentthe afternoon texting with Beth and hiding in her room. She sent Beth a pic of the outfit and they discussed jewelry, hairstyle, and makeup to go with it.
Are you ready to go all in?Beth texted.You’ve got the look. Flirt with him. See if he responds positively to your flirting. Pay him compliments.
Lacy took a deep breath. She could do this. She was a sexy woman, not a child or a pet. She glanced at her closed bedroom door. Jonah thought she was sexy. He said he wasn’t just being nice, but what if he was? It didn’t matter. She couldn’t afford to have more than a passing attraction for him. He lived with her and had become her actual friend. A friend who made her weak in the knees when he looked at her, but still. . .
Something has to change. I’m going to get Logan to ask me out tonight,Lacy texted. She could only hope that would happen. Obviously, she was hardwired to want guys who wouldn’t want her. It didn’t make sense, but eventually one of them had to want her the same way, and unlike Chet, actually want to keep her, not just use her.
Logan wouldn’t use her that way.
He’ll be eating out of your hand before you can turn into a pumpkin,Beth texted.
Suddenly Lacy had another thought and didn’t want to type it out. She pressed the call button.
Beth picked up immediately. “What’s up?”
Lacy bit her lip and looked at the door. She didn’t want to say the words and make it real, but she had to. “What if I’m broken?”
“What do you mean?” Beth’s voice was steady but concerned.
“What if I’m doomed to repeat the same pattern over and over again? What if I never find a guy who wants me and who I want in return?” She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath before revealing, “What if the reason Chet didn’t want me anymore was because I’m no good at sex?”
“Fuck Chet.” Anger edged Beth’s voice. “I never liked him. He was a pervy frat boy and after what he did to you, he’s lucky I didn’t come there and castrate him.”
“Sophie spread a rumor he had a micropenis.” Lacy smiled and laid back on her bed.
“I love Sophie.”
“Me too.” Lacy stared up at her ceiling as her smile slipped.
“You’re not broken, Lacy. Chet wanted to score and he took advantage of you.” Beth sounded so confident, but Lacy wasn’t sure.
“I’ve never been in a real relationship. The one time I had sex, the guy wouldn’t give me the time of day afterwards. I’m pretty sure that means I’m broken.”
“Listen to me. You are not broken. When you fall for someone, you don’t do it by half measures. You don’t just think maybe this is the one. You commit to him with your whole heart and soul. If a guy doesn’t see that, that’s on him. Not you.”
Beth blew out a breath. “Lacy, someone’s going to see you and he is going to love you so hard he’ll never let you go. I just hope you are open to it when it happens and not so strung up on some other guy who will never give you anything but nice words that you miss the real guy.”
Lacy inhaled a deep breath and absorbed Beth’s words. She had to focus on her goal. “I’m going to make Logan see me as a woman tonight.”
“Yeah, that’s the spirit.” Beth’s grin could be heard in her words.
“I’m going to flirt so hard he won’t know what hit him.” Lacy smiled wide.
“That’s my girl,” Beth said. “Whatever happens, have fun tonight. You deserve a night out even if it’s not with me.”
“It would be better with you.” Lacy wanted to hug her friend through the phone. “We need to set up a visit. Not an emergency intervention visit, but just you and me hanging out and eating ridiculous amounts of carbs.”
