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“No.” She fiddled with his shirt button. She couldn’t talk about this to anyone except him right now. She hadn’t even texted Beth about it. Too afraid Beth would pop up as a Jonah intervention. “I just don’t know what’s going to happen when the train eventually crashes.”
She didn’t know how she would feel when this ended. She’d never had anything like this before.
Jonah pushed back from his desk and wrapped his arms around her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and breathed in deep. She never wanted to move from this spot. Safe and warm. Cared for. She felt it all.
“Little bird, I promise to always listen and try to help settle your worries. I don’t know how this ends yet, but I hope we can remain friends afterwards.”
She flattened her palm against his chest and the steady beat of his heart comforted her. She raised her head to meet his eyes. “I’d like that.”
He leaned in and pressed his lips gently and way too briefly against hers. The kiss had been so gentle she wanted to sigh in happiness. That hint of tenderness made her chest ache for something more. She couldn’t handle the warmth in his eyes much longer though. This wasn’t anything more than sex. If she forgot that, she could end up falling for Jonah and that would be a mess.
“Are we done?” She turned to look at his computer screen, but she couldn’t quite make herself leave his lap.
“With the campaign, yes.” Jonah shut his computer.
With his help, Lacy stood. She went to her desk to close her computer and grab her stuff.
“Car will be here in ten.” Jonah turned off the lights in the copy room and breakroom while Lacy stood near the front door. Her breath caught and held as he walked through the office toward her. Everything about him was gorgeous and took her breath away.
He stopped in front of her and lowered his face until they were on the same level. His blue eyes sparkled with mischief. “Ready to go?”
Her grin widened and she nodded. Her obsession with him couldn’t be healthier than her crushes, but the rush was so much more. Jonah took her hand in his and hit the lights for the office. For now, she was all his.
* * *
“Where’s home for you?”Lacy laid on top of Jonah, naked and slightly sweaty. He trailed his fingers over her spine. Her head rested over his pounding heart. The lamp on the nightstand barely cast a dim light over them.
They had managed to sneak into the apartment and into his bedroom without waking Sophie or alerting her at least. Even though it was late, they had taken their time reexploring each other. His heart hadn’t had a chance to slow down before she asked her question.
“What?” Jonah hadn’t misheard her, but he didn’t understand the intent behind her question. He stroked his hand down her back and over the curve of her ass. He couldn’t get enough of touching her, tasting her, fucking her. Even though he had just come, he wanted her again.
She drew a little circle over his heart and then looked up at him with her dark eyes. He wasn’t sure how much sleep they would manage tonight if she kept looking at him like she couldn’t get enough either. “You don’t have stuff. Everyone has a place they consider home. Whether it’s where they grew up or where their heart is. Where’s home for you?”
Jonah chuckled, warily, trying to make light. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a home.”
Lacy propped her elbows on his chest and rested her head on her hands to look down at him with astonishment and a hint of pity. “You’ve never had a home?”
“Growing up, we moved around a lot for my dad’s job.” He put his hands behind his head. Her body rested comfortably over his, her softness covering his hard muscles. Just being close to her turned him on. But with both of them naked and touching, it wouldn’t be long before he rolled her over and sank inside her. He exhaled, knowing she expected more words than that. “Just when we would get settled, it would be time to move. You get used to not accumulating stuff or people. You can’t keep anything or anybody. It’s just you and the next thing. You learn to let go and move on. To never have a home.”
Lacy stared at him intently like she wanted to delve inside him. Wanting something more than physical intimacy. He didn’t really have anything to hide from her. He’d been honest from the start. He wanted her, but he couldn’t keep her. He wasn’t the guy who stayed. He didn’t form meaningful attachments.
It was easier that way. If you didn’t have stuff, then it didn’t matter when it got broken or lost. If you didn’t bond with people, it wouldn’t hurt when one of you failed to keep in touch. His mother had always tried to keep them together, but when she passed a couple years ago, even their family had fallen apart. Jonah hadn’t been enough to keep them together.
That was why he knew he could never be what Lacy needed. Something inside him was broken like his family was. He didn’t know how to keep anyone anymore.
“Was this an experiment?” she asked.
He raised his eyebrow at her in question.
“Not us.” She tapped her finger over his heart. “The job, moving here. You said you never stayed anywhere long. But you took this job knowing it didn’t involve travel. Just one office and a bunch of coworkers. Are you here just to see if you can stay?”
He took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. “You don’t ask the easy questions.”
She grinned. “I can be complicated.”
He studied her eyes. The dark brown had flecks of almost gold in them. He wanted to explain to her. He wanted her to understand his frustration. “Yes and no. Something needed to change in my life. I didn’t even have a real place in L.A., only a hotel I frequented and a P.O. box I checked when I happened to be in town. My whole life filled a suitcase. I was sick of living in hotels. Not having real friends or anything lasting.”
Lacy rested her head against his heart. “Tired of change?”
