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He really did. It wasn’t that I didn’t like surprises or anything—though, now that I thought about it, if they interrupted my routine or ruined carefully laid plans, I guessed I wasn’t a fan. But since the entire reason I hadn’t wanted to fall for this man in the first place was that I was scared about him leaving and me not wanting to go with him, it made sense that he wouldn’t want to propose without talking about it.
Sure, we’d made it clear to each other months ago that we were both in this for real—andforever. And yes, I’d told him I would have gone with him to Hawaii if he’d had to leave, which meant we’d need to be married for that to happen. But we hadn’t addressed that little technicality, so from that perspective, this logistical conversation actually did make sense.
“Okay,” I said, breathing through the nerves swirling around the edges of my mind, “so, you want my thoughts on the idea, but you’re not asking right now?”
He reached out and took my hands, pressing a soft kiss to each set of knuckles. “Yep. And you can feel free to take your time, darlin’. I’m not going anywhere yet. And even when I do, I’m not. I won’t rush you, and you’ll always have me wherever I am.”
Heat flooded me as he held my hands in his, rubbing the backs with his calloused thumbs. “Well, I’ll think about it, then.”
“Good.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips over mine. Once, twice, and then a third time for good measure.
When he leaned back, I caught sight of his camouflage cover sitting on the blanket. On the inside, he’d used packing tape to attach the photo from Clara’s wedding to the underside of the hat. It was a little warped from sweat and grime, but the sweetness of him carrying the keepsake photo of our first kiss with him wherever he went hit me like an arrow to the heart.
This man loved me. He loved me with his whole soul, despite all the fear he’d grown up with that he’d only wind up hurt if he let himself do that. But he did. He’d pushed through that fear in a way that made my skin tingle every time I thought about it, and while I’d sort of done the same thing on my end, he deserved for it to be all the way. He deserved the same level of commitment and certainty from me that he was offering.
I looked up and met his eyes, squaring my shoulders. “Okay, done.”
“Done thinking?”
Grinning, I squeezed his hands. “Yep.”
“Already?”
“Yes,” I said with a sigh. “I think it’s time for me to stop being so scared about what I’m losing in my hometown and start focusing on what I’m gaining with you.So, whenever you decide you want to spring some big epic proposal on me, feel free.”
He smiled almost as big as he had when he’d found out about his dad’s remission, then he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to mine. “Can I get that in writing?”
“Hush.”
He kissed me again, his lips barely managing to close over mine thanks to the smile on his handsome face. Then he leaned back and picked up his salad again, and we ate in companionable silence.
“What do you have planned for this week?” he asked after a while.
I quirked a brow at him. “Why, you gonna propose?”
“No, ma’am. I have something in mind already, and it’s not going to happen while I’m swamped with all this.” He jerked his head over his shoulder in the direction of the base, then shuddered as if just the thought of going back to it tomorrow made him squirm.
“Well,” I said, dropping my fork in my empty container and snapping on the lid, “I’m going to be shooting some back-to-school photos, going with Layla, Jo, and Grayson to get him fitted for his tux for Jo’s wedding, and working on my videos for this week’s reads.”
As much as it worried me to put myself out there, I’d finally cracked and created a TikTok account for book recommendations. So far, I hadn’t shown my face even once, just a collection of page flips or artful transitions showcasing groups of books.
Even though I’d gone into it thinking I was crazy for doing so, the account blew up pretty quickly. The fact that I’d been a lurker in the BookTok community for so long helped, I was sure. I always knew exactly which songs to use to make the videos trend, which filters and transitions were most engaging, and which hashtags would allow for the biggest reach.
I wasn’t sure how many people looked at it like a science and how many considered it an art, but for me, it was all about patterns. I’d been studying them for ages, and now I was capitalizing on them. Not only did I receive tons of book mail every week with new books to review, but I’d even managed to get paid to do reviews, which was rare and awesome. It’d turned into a little side gig of its own, and it was all thanks to Beau for encouraging me to do it.
“What’d you read?” he asked as he finished up the last bite of his own salad before putting it away.
I gave him the list of this week’s books, careful not to get carried away with what I thought about them or how well the tropes were executed. He was always so adorable when he listened to me ramble about book stuff, but I knew our time was limited since he’d have to go soon, and there was something else I wanted to run by him before we had to part ways.
“Sounds like a busy week,” he said. Then he leaned back a little and looked me over with a little half-smile. “I’m proud of you, you know.”
I beamed, warmth spreading through me. “I’m proud of you, too.”
“Can’t believe I’ve only got two more weeks of this.”
Ah, here was my opening. I didn’t want to overstep, because sometimes I’d been known to get a little carried away. But it was Beau. He knew I did, and he seemed to love me anyway. “Speaking of your graduation, I have an idea.”
His brows went up. “Oh, yeah?”
