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Two firefighters, their suits shining with damp, bring through an ambulance trolley. On the trolley is my mum. The fear that she will look like Freddy after his accident is eased. Her skin is unblemished, and she looks like she’s sleeping, which I guess she is because she’s not moving.
“Thank God,” I cry, running to the trolley and lifting Mum’s hand in mine. My relief floods through me, presenting itself in rolling tears that gain momentum as they slip down my cheeks. “Thank you,” I say over and over again to the firemen. “Thank you.”
My eyes lift from the sight of mum and search for Freddy. I find him watching me with a tortured expression. “It’s okay.” I smile through my tears. “I’ll go in the ambulance to the hospital, you follow behind. Do they need us to do anything else here?” I feel like someone should be here. I mean, after all, the house is burning down right in front of us, so we might need to — I don’t know — sign something.
I know it won’t be me who stays behind. I need to be with my mum.
Freddy moves around the trolley, his eyes never leaving mine. Reaching for me, he places his hands around my face until my cheeks are cradled in the combination of rough and smooth texture that is uniquely Freddy’s reassuring touch. For one bizarre moment, I think he’s going to kiss me.
“Amber, you need to listen to me.” He lowers his face until our noses are a hairsbreadth from touching.
“What? I’ve got to go.”Why’s he delaying me?I try and move away from his grasp, but he holds firm. This is time wasting. Why aren’t the ambulance staff loading her into the ambulance?
“Amber, they aren’t taking her to the hospital.”
I push him away, a sharp shove to the chest. “Don’t be silly, Freddy, she’s going to wake up soon and need help.”
“Amber. Shit.” His hands find me again, pulling me in tighter, ignoring my insistence to put space between us. “Amber, she’s gone. I’m so sorry, but your mum has passed.”
He’s not making any sense. I look at my sleeping mother on the trolley. She looks perfect, a slight grey tint on her skin from passing through the smoke, but other than that she’s perfect.
Reaching my hands for her, I slide them along her face. She’s cool but it is cold out here. Gentle hands remove my own, entwining our fingers together. Freddy pulls me back as a member of the ambulance crew step forwards and zips up a black bag that I’ve failed to notice underneath her body. “I’m sorry, Miss,” he apologises and he looks at Freddy. Freddy nods and the man zips up the bag to cover my mum’s body.
My mum’sdeadbody.
“Mum!” A screech rips through me, tearing through the night air, higher and louder than any of the sirens.
“Amber,” Freddy speaks into my ear, his arms holding me up as my legs give way beneath me. Then, exactly as it did eleven years ago when I watched someone else I loved pulled from flames, my eyesight starts to turn dark and I lose all concept of what’s going on around me.
