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Freddy and I are whispering,our heads bent towards each other, fingers entwined, when we are called from our little bubble by the sound of a knife tapping glass.
“If I can have everyone’s attention please.” Grant looks as pleased as a cat handed a saucer of cream. Freddy and I automatically pull away from one another, the absence of his touch creating a cool brush of air against my skin. “So, as you know, it’s my big brother’s birthday, and we all want to wish him a happy birthday and say how pleased we are to see him happy.” He smirks here. “At bloody last.” Everyone laughs around the table, and I glow from the inside out. I’m like a shining beacon of cheesy happiness.
Clinking glasses, we all wish Freddy a happy birthday. Grant hasn’t finished though and continues to stand. “Since Amber’s been back and introduced Isaac into our lives, it feels like our family is nearly complete.” I have a feeling this is another veiled attempt at finding out about Isaac’s parentage, but I focus on the squeeze of Freddy’s fingers, and I know he is thinking about it too.“I say nearly complete, because Dani and I can confirm that we’re expecting a baby in the late spring.”
There is stunned silence around the table and then before I really know what I am doing, I jump from my seat, knocking drinks all over the place and grab for my friend. I’m sure we are all screaming and the rest of the restaurant is giving us peace-disturbing evils, but I don’t care.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I screech at full volume.
Dani laughs and manages to extricate herself from my tight grip. “We were just making sure it took this time, that’s all.”
With my eyes shining, I turn to Freddy and throw myself into his arms. “Oh my god, Freddy. This is just turning out to be too perfect. Pinch me so I know this is real.”
He does, hard, on my bum.
“Bloody hell! Not that hard.”
“It’s real,” he whispers, pulling me in tight. He kisses me in an inappropriate public display of affection and I lose myself in him, not caring about the packed restaurant until I hear someone calling my name. Henry.
“Amber, your phone is ringing.”
Freddy sweeps his hands for my phone on the tabletop.
“Hello?” His tone is hesitant and I watch as he listens to the person on the other end. In an instant he’s in action, gathering his jacket and grabbing the truck keys from my bag. I watch as alarm sweeps through me. “I’ll be there as quick as I can.” Then he hangs up, his dark blue gaze settled on me.
I go to speak, but nothing comes out.
“Amber, you stay here with Dani.” He nods his head to Dani and I feel both her and Grant lock me in between them.
“No.” I shake my head. “Tell me what’s going on.”
In one stride he is in front of me, his hands cupping my face, his eyes pleading. "Please, stay here, for me.”
“It’s Mum, isn’t it?” With my words, I worm my way free from my well-meaning friends and grab my stuff.
Freddy doesn’t ask me to stay again. He just grabs me by the elbow and wheels me towards the car.
Freddy driveslike he’s tearing up the racetrack. I cling to the seats, not daring to ask what the phone call told him or why he is breaking the local constabulary’s speeding regulations. I don’t have to wait long to find out; as soon as we turn into my road, I can see instantly what the problem is, but try as I might, I can’t get it to make sense in my head. Smoke is billowing out across the street, and it seems to be coming from my house. My bedroom window is smashed open and black fumes spill out, mixing with the dark night air. The acrid burning of smoke fills my throat as soon as I jump out of the car and nausea claws its way up my throat, saliva flooding into my mouth. The smell reminds me of the night Freddy was pulled from the burning car. I sat by his side all night, unable to escape the lingering stench of char that clung around me in a cloak of doom.
“We’ve got to find Mum,” I holler across to Freddy. In a flash, he is by my side, his arms grabbing me in an iron grip and pulling me back into his chest, as I use every fibre of strength in my body to writhe my way free.
“Amber, wait.” His words cut through me, and my struggling lessens. “Let’s go and find out what’s happening. You can’t run into that building.”
Fear claws its way into my chest. “I’ve got to get my mum.” My eyes tear through the scene in front of me, searching for some sign of Mum in her nightie. “I’ve only just got her back.”
He releases his hold. “And I’ve just gotyouback, and I won’t lose you to that.” His hands slide from my shoulders down my arms. “Stay here.”
He moves away from me, and as soon as I lose the security of his presence, panic starts to overwhelm me. My mum is in a burning house, and I’m stood out here watching.
Understanding dawns on me slowly that this is entirely my fault.My stomach heaves and I bend low as I gag uncontrollably, my food and wine dashing the pavement. I left her alone. Yet another mistake to add to my endless list.
I watch in muted horror as Freddy talks to the ambulance and fire crew. There’s a lot of gesturing, yet no one seems to be doing much. Surely there should people running around, shouting, anything? Instead, there is an eerie calm that creates a hole in the pit of my stomach, a hole that makes me know something isn’t right. Something worse than losing a house. I feel like I’m walking through fog as I make my way over to the huddle of people. The neighbours are watching with sympathy scored on their faces, but I try to ignore their searching glances. I’m just reaching for the sleeve of Freddy’s jumper when a cry comes up. “All clear.”
How can it be clear when I can’t see my mum?
