AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Luckily for them, it’s all an act, whereas I’m living it daily.
???
I feel the bed shift before I hear him. I must have dozed off while waiting for him, the soft hum of the show playing in the background putting me to sleep.
“Hey,” I murmur groggily, turning to face him. He’s lying down beside me over the covers, dressed in gray sweatpants and a plain white tee. He’s freshly showered, his hair still wet, and his scent clean and intoxicating.
“Hey there Dollface. Did I wake you?”
“No, I must have just dozed off. Have you been here long?”
“Just came in. Something came up that needed my attention but I’m here now.”
I sit up and turn to face him, worry etched into the corners of my eyes. “What happened? Is everything okay?”
He brings a long finger up to my lips. “Hush. Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head with. So tell me, is any of that for me too?” he asks, eyeing the bottles and bags of chips. I nod and he quickly starts eating. “What are we watching?”
“Nothing,” I say, slamming the laptop shut. “I don’t want to watch anything. I just want you to hold me.”
I can see the panic in his eyes, the resistance in the way his body tenses beside me. “Stella…”
“It’s been a long week, Kai. I just don’t want to be alone.”
Not giving him the opportunity to overthink, I snuggle up under his arm, placing my head on his chest. I feel his body tense beneath me and his breathing turns unsteady when he lowers an arm around me, pulling me in closer.
I could die right here and now and feel I’ve truly lived. It’s been years since I’ve been held this way. In the prior years before her death, mother was so preoccupied with her own mental health and addiction to even remember she had a daughter to care for. She had good days where we’d order in from Scottie’s Diner, one of my favorite places in town, before a gala or event we were to attend.
My father prioritized ensuring my mother’ssicknessnever saw the light of day in order for our family to remain untainted. As for my evil uncle, his sole purpose in life is to make me pay for the sins of my parents and the burden they left him with.
For months, I’ve craved Kai’s touch. I ache for him to see me through a lens nobody else sees. Not as the pathetic nobody, but as something worth caring for.
“When I was little,” I whisper into his chest, “My mother used to hold me like this, run her fingers through my hair, and tell me stories about what it would be like to live in a world where there were no bad men. She genuinely believed this world existed and one day, when she was finally deemed worthy, she’d be allowed into this magical place. There, she’d find the happiness and freedom she so desperately craved. I didn’t understand what she meant. I mean, I was a child. Usually mothers told stories about princes who’d come and save the princesses, or of fairies and magical creatures. Yet I always begged her to take me to this magical world.”
I catch my breath, yet for some inexplicable reason, I have no intention of stopping. Maybe it’s the fact his grip on my waist tightened the moment I spoke of her. “My father was an absent father, never cruel, just unavailable. My uncle has always scared me. He was so strict, cold, and had this presence that made you cower down and not dare look him in the eye. Then there was Sebastian. He and his friends always told me I couldn’t play with them or join them because I was a fragile little girl. That’s why I used to beg her to take me with her.”
My palms lie flat against his chest, feeling the rise and fall of it as he watches me with an expression I’ve never seen before. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it mirrors mine when I look at him. “Why didn’t she take me with her?” I whisper, though I’m not sure I’m really expecting a response.
Surprisingly, he gives me one. “She knew that wasn’t where you belonged, Stella. You deserve to be the princess who’s saved by her prince.”
“Then why do I feel like I’m some ogre locked up in a dark tower with no hope of ever escaping?”
“Don’t be ridiculous Stella, you could never be an ogre, but you belong locked away in a tower, though only to protect you. There are monsters out there, vile creatures who want nothing more than to taint your innocence and devour you whole.”
“You think I don’t know that Kai, I fucking live…”
I freeze just before the words leave my lips. I’ve told no one about the things my Uncle Stephan has done. No one has even suspected I live a less than perfect life because of him. Yet here I am, about to divulge my deepest, darkest secret to a boy who doesn’t want me.
“Live what Stella? What are you hiding from me?”
“Nothing…” I try to sit up, but he holds me in place.
“Bullshit!”
“Kai…” Frightened, I continue struggling to sit up.
“No Stella,” his voice gets louder, the depth of his anger making me tremble. “I let it slide last time because you were fucking wasted, though you don’t look any better tonight. The night of Bass’s party, you said he’d already ruined you. Who the fuck are you talking about?”
“Stop yelling please, you’re making my head hurt.” He grips my shoulders tight, pulling me into him, my eyes getting hazy and aching to close. Fuck, the alcohol is doing its thing again. I need to stop mixing it with my meds, but the euphoria I feel right now tells me I’m fucking kidding myself. I won’t stop, I can’t.
