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Liv
Lifeisn’tpeachy,butI’m doing ok. The guys and Vera help me stay busy, and I still have weekly chats with Susan. Luke is ever present. I’ll hear a loud car in the distance and my heart will pound. Even the maintenance guy made me gasp when I saw his blue eyes from across the room. It’s frustrating yet comforting at the same time. I don’t know where Luke is, but it’s clear the guys are helping him avoid me. It’s for the best.
I put on a smile, but I never feel it. Maybe the longer I do it, the more I can convince myself that I’m happy. But I’m not. I’m like a ghost, just moving along because there’s no other choice. Luke didn’t give me one. I almost wish he would have cheated on me so I could move on easier. But he didn’t. He left me because he loved me. How’s that for irony?
My greatest fear is that I’ll be stuck like this forever. Luke changed my life, then left me adrift. I would have gone into the whirlpool with him, but he forced me to stay by myself in the calm waters.
Dad’s visit for Christmas last week cheered me up. He stayed for a few days, and we watched movies while I curled up next to him. We baked cookies and laughed at happy memories of our childhood. The crew—minus Luke, Jordy, Mark, and Skye—came over for Christmas Eve and we hung out and stuffed ourselves with holiday treats, including my favorite apple crumb pie.
I volunteered for the New Year’s Eve shift because I have no intentions of pretending to celebrate. John had to work anyway, so I figured why not? Garrett has the night off, so Jordy and Dylan are my bodyguards for the evening. Brando disappeared right after he got here and gave me a bear hug. I saw him a few times dancing with a leggy blonde.
I almost drop the glass in my hand when I catch sight of Vera and Garrett making out on the dance floor. What the hell? When Vera comes back for another round, I pounce.
“What’s going on with you two?”
She giggles, already drunk. “I like him.”
“For how long?”
“We started talking when I came to visit you at the house. We never stopped. He’s amazing.”
I blink as I slide her wine over to her. Garrett wraps his arms around her waist from behind and kisses her neck before he smiles at me. “Did she tell you the good news?”
Vera giggles and turns her head to kiss him. My eyebrows climb my forehead. What the hell did I miss? Vera turns to me with a shit-eating grin. “We’re dating.” Garrett grins and gazes at her like she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
I just stare at them for a few seconds with my mouth hanging open. “Dating? Like boyfriend and girlfriend?” My excitement climbs.
Vera laughs and rolls her eyes. “You got your wish. We’re exclusive and everything.”
I clap and squeal with delight as I run around the bar and push Garrett aside to wrap her in a hug. We both laugh as tears leak out of my eyes. She shakes her head at me. “Cool it, it’s not that big of a deal,” she says, but I catch her swipe at her own face. It’s then I sense the happiness radiating off her. I turn to Garrett and hug him, too.
“So, you’re not mad that I stole your best friend?” Garrett asks.
I chuckle as I pull away from our hug. “Chicks before dicks, bro. I ain’t worried.”
Guilt settles on my shoulders as they chuckle. I’ve been so busy wallowing in misery that I didn’t recognize love blossoming between two of the most important people in my life. Garrett pulls her into his side, and she grins up at him.
“I’m sorry I’ve been a shitty friend.”
Vera shakes her head. “We’re not mad. We get it.” She leans over to hug me. “He makes me so happy,” she whispers, and a lump forms in my throat. There’s something about hearing your best friend, who’s been hurting her whole life, say those words.
I wink at her as we part and she giggles, pulling Garrett to the dance floor. I return to my spot behind the bar and watch them dance for a minute before returning to my duties.
“What put that smile on your face and how do we keep it there?” Dylan settles onto the barstool in front of me and I pass him a glass of water.
“Garrett and Vera. They’re cute.”
He grins. “Wondered when they were going to tell you.”
“How did Brando take it?”
Dylan shrugs. “Pretty sure he’s devastated, but he’ll never admit it.”
I nod in agreement. The night continues and picks up the closer we get to midnight. The bar hits capacity and I’m running around like a crazy person as we approach midnight. I’m re-stocking glasses when a hand falls on my shoulder. Before I can protest, Jackson pulls me out from behind the bar and puts his arm around my shoulders, guiding me to our little group. A glass of champagne ends up in my hand. Everyone but Dylan and Jordy are drunken fools. Mark couldn’t make it tonight, but I’m not dumb. I know he’s with Luke. We form our own little circle and wait for the MC to start the countdown.
Jackson grabs me by the biceps. He wavers for a second, then blinks hard and steadies himself. “It’s time for a new beginning, Sparrow. This is your chance to start over. Figure out what your life looks like without him. We’ll support you every step of the way.” I blink at him as tears well in my eyes.
He brings my forehead to his lips. “I love you, darlin’,” he whispers, and I hug him with my arm that isn’t holding my glass of champagne. Jackson has always been a sappy drunk. I love that about him. “I love you, too.”
He turns to the girl he’s been dancing with all night as the countdown begins. She glares at me, but I ignore her. Garrett puts his arm around Vera. Brando is off to the side with the girl he met tonight. Skye holds onto Jordy’s arm. I’ve never felt Luke’s absence more pointedly. Five… Four…. Three… Two… I stare at my champagne glass. The bubbles ascend as tears stream down my face.
The champagne spills over my hand as Dylan pulls me in for a hug. “Happy New Year!” the crowd yells. He holds my head to his chest as everyone around us kisses or hugs and celebrates the start of a new year. I take in a deep breath and squeeze him tight. He leans down and kisses my cheek. “Happy New Year, Princess.”
I smile up at him as I let the brotherly love he has for me soothe the ache in my heart. He releases me and I’m pulled in a crushing hug by Garrett, then Vera. Brando hugs me next, then Jordy and Skye. The merriment continues, and I let my sadness trickle out of me. Jackson is right, it’s time to figure out my life without Luke. That’s my reality. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I find a text each from my dad, John, and Mark, wishing me a Happy New Year. I smile and look around at my adopted family. I think I’ll be ok.
