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Liv
Myfeethitthedirt in a steady rhythm as our breath fogs in the chilly predawn air. My dad runs next to me. Garrett, and my Uncle Mike are up ahead. They take turns running with me since I’m the slowpoke. They never make me feel bad about it, though. I left San Diego six months ago. My lungs have healed well, but I still have to take it easy and make sure I don’t overexert myself. I used to hate running, but my dad would drag me out with him every morning after I moped around for a month and threatened to send me back to San Diego if I didn’t get exercise.So, I run.
I still can’t say I like running, but I enjoy the peaceful rhythm that calms my mind, and the endorphins it produces don’t hurt either. Plus, my dad and uncle are busy taking care of the farm until dinner almost every day, so it’s nice to spend this hour with them. My dad turned me into a morning person. Miracles happen every day.
Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don’t. During the quiet times, like right now, my mind always goes to Luke. I miss his comforting presence and the smile that always brightened up my day. I was preaching the “I don’t need no man” ideal from the mountaintop. But Luke was what I needed. Not because I was weak, but because he showed me my strength. I regret that I never did the same for him, but it's all in the past now.
I’m trying my best to move on, but I dream about him every night. Most of the time, he’s not doing anything special. He’ll be working out, or in a suit in his office. Sometimes the dreams turn into nightmares, but those are getting less frequent. I can’t seem to shake him. It’s like no matter how much I want to forget about him, my soul won’t let me.
Garrett asked me why we came to Texas. I didn’t have an answer for him. He saw right through me, but I wasn’t ready to admit it. I left because it was too hard to stay.
I couldn’t handle the mountain of hurt between me and Luke. Yes, I was willing to sacrifice myself for Luke because, despite everything, I still love him. But that didn’t mean I was going to run to him when the dust cleared. Too much had happened. When a hurricane decimates a town, it takes time, even years sometimes, to rebuild. And when it’s rebuilt, things may never return to normal. It changes the town. Hurricane Luke changed me.
“I spoke with John last night.” My dad breaks me out of my musings.
“How’s he?” I hate they can all talk like they’re out for a leisurely stroll while my words come out on a death rattle.
John went on a secret, deep undercover assignment after I left San Diego. It was a great opportunity that he couldn’t pass up, but he had to leave quick so all I got was a thirty second call where I told him I loved him, and he told me to stay safe. He calls when he can, so it must have been late last night.
“He sounds tired. But he’s in good spirits. He said to tell you he loves you.”
“That’s good.”
I attempt to get my breathing in rhythm with my steps. As we get to the halfway point, Uncle Mike and Garrett turn around and head towards us.
“I’m going to run with Garrett,” I say as they get close. I slow and wait for them. Uncle Mike sees me slow and does the same, then turns and runs with my dad. I run in the other direction, knowing Garrett will catch up. He does a few seconds later.
“That’s cheating.”
I roll my eyes at him, and he matches my pace. We’re both dripping sweat despite the chill in the air.
“I talked to Dylan last night. He says he’s swamped at Maddox. He can’t make it out next month like he planned.”
Dammit. I was looking forward to seeing him.
“We could always go visit him...” Garrett says, playing nonchalance.
“I’m not ready.”
I know Garrett keeps in touch with everyone back home and I trust him to keep our location a secret. Only Dylan knows and I trust him, too.
I called everyone when we arrived in Texas and explained that I just needed time and some space. Their support meant the world to me. Jackson told me my job would wait for me. Vera struggled, but she understood. She told me I was on to something with the sabbatical idea, and we ended the video call with tears and smiles.
Mark’s response hit me the hardest. He told me how proud he was of me and that he loved me like I was his own sister. He also said that he’d watch out for Luke. Mark always understood me.
Dylan promised he’d make sure everyone left me alone, especially Luke, until I was ready. After I was shot, Luke canceled his New York plans, which only proved I was right to leave. I miss them all so much, but I could never force him to leave them behind, just to give me space. So, once I get over Luke, I can return home and we can carry on with our lives.
We run in silence, even as my dad and Uncle Mike pass us.Twenty minutes later, the farm comes into view. “Let’s go Liv. Loser does the other’s laundry for a week,” Garrett says, and I groan as I pump my arms and legs faster to catch up to him. My dad and Uncle Mike hit the end of the dirt driveway and kick it into turbo gear down the fifty yards towards the guest house we share with my dad. Uncle Mike’s ranch house is another fifty yards up the path that curves to the right.
My dad wins, his triumphant laughter following them as they jog up towards the ranch house to cool down. I don’t know why they insist on forcing me through this stupid ritual. I never win. Especially not against Garrett, who I swear is part cheetah. Sometimes losing isn’t a big deal. But I have no desire to do my laundry, let alone Garrett’s.
My annoyance allows me to find another gear, and I’m already going hard by the time we hit the driveway. “Come on, faster. You can beat me,” Garrett says, then takes off. I strain and dig deep for any reserves, but Garrett stays ahead about five paces all the way to the house. He waits for me to catch up and we slow to a light jog while I huff and gasp for air.
I collapse onto the wood of the front porch. “I... hate... all... of you,” I gasp as they chuckle like they think I’m joking.
“That was your best one yet,” Garrett says, already breathing like a normal person.Ugh.
My lungs still burn but I sit up and my dad hands me his water bottle. I take a few sips, then he hauls me to my feet. “You’re improving, Liv.”
