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TheshutterclicksasI capture the hawk soaring low across the lake. I frown at the image on the screen. I suck at motion photography. My phone dings and I bring it out of my pocket to read the latest comment on the picture of Scooter, the cocker spaniel mix. Garrett is holding him in his lap while they both grin at the camera. I took a few shots of Garrett with the shelter animals and posted them to social media. Our following blew up.
‘Can I adopt Garrett too?’ it says, and I shake my head. He’s now our official mascot and poses in every single picture with the animals. I would put an end to the needless inflation of his ego, but we’ve adopted out every animal he’s taken a picture with, so I can’t complain. Charlotte is even ordering merchandise.
I’m sprawled out on a blanket underneath a tree by the lake. Garrett lets me come out here by myself since it’s only a stone’s throw from the house. I rub my neck and set my camera down and lay on my back. The leaves glitter and sway in the gentle breeze of the late afternoon. My mind wanders to the dream I had about Luke last night.
I dream about him so much, I’d be surprised if I closed my eyes and didn’t see his face. They’re strange though because he’ll talk to someone, but I can’t see them. If they walk past, it’s a fuzzy blur. Sometimes I can hear what he says, sometimes I can’t. He never seems aware of me, but sometimes he’ll glance around for something, like someone called his name, and he can’t figure out where the sound came from.
I’m mesmerized by the swaying leaves above me as the darkness creeps in. Stars twinkle to life with each passing minute.
My fingers trace the scar that’s almost healed. The tiny ridges where they sewed me together now faded to a soft pink. I feel a presence and sit up, expecting Garrett or Charlie, but freeze when I find Luke a few feet away. My pulse races and my stomach clenches.
His back is to me, and he’s crouched on his haunches. His muscles flex through his t-shirt as he moves something around with his hands. The edge of a duffle bag pokes out on the ground by his feet. He stands and lifts his shirt to put deodorant on. His hair looks damp.
I’m frozen in place, unsure if this is real or I’m going insane. Either outcome terrifies me. I bring my camera up and watch him through the viewfinder. The shutter clicks as I push the button, and he freezes and looks to his right. He drops the deodorant on his bag, then looks to his left.Is he really here? Excitement settles next to fear at the idea.
“Luke?” It’s a shout in the quiet. A few birds startle and fly away at the noise. He faces me as his eyes search, wide and disbelieving. His gaze never settles on me.
I climb to my feet and yell his name again. He startles, his whole body jerking while he keeps searching. “Can you hear me?” I ask, taking a few steps toward him. His mouth moves to form the word ‘yes,’ but there’s no sound. He looks bewildered, and so handsome it hurts.
My heart picks up speed as he mouths my name. I creep towards him like the slightest movement will scare him away. “It’s me, Luke.” He blinks in confusion and shakes his head like he’s trying to clear it.
I lift my hand, only a foot between us. Right before I’m about to touch him, his eyes focus on mine and go wide with surprise. I smile and he smiles back, but he’s hesitant. I reach my palm up to him and he stares at it. He copies me and when our hands are centimeters apart, he blinks out of existence. All other sound returns in a loud cacophony. The rustle of the slight breeze through the trees, the water lapping on the shore, all flood my senses and overwhelm me.
I suck in air and collapse onto the blanket, holding my hands over my ears. What the hell just happened? I stare at the space Luke occupied while everything settles. I grab my camera as my ears adjust and turn it on. The picture comes up on the screen and I frown. Luke isn’t in it. It’s only the tree line. It’s official. I’m hallucinating.Awesome.
I sink to my ass on the blanket as tears burn my eyes. I should be scared. But all I feel is disappointment that it wasn’t really Luke. I didn’t realize how much I wanted to see him. Footsteps approach and Garrett appears.
“What’s wrong?” he rushes to my side and checks me for injuries as he wipes my silent tears away with his sleeve.
“I think… I think I’m going insane, Garrett.”
“Drink some water,” he says, and I almost laugh. If only the cure was so easy.
I do as he says, and he kneels in front of me. “What happened?”
I pull my legs into a crisscross position. “Luke was here. Right over there.” I point to where Luke stood.
He frowns. “What do you mean?”
I shrug because I don’t know how to explain it.
He looks at me for a moment, considering my words. “Like a vision?”
“I’m not sure. It was so real.”
Garrett looks where I pointed. I hesitate, but I know I can trust him. “I have vivid dreams about Luke all the time. Today was the first time I was awake when it happened.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“It started in the hospital. I had a dream that he was standing in a bathroom covered in blood. He was holding onto a sink and sobbing. I reached out to comfort him, but he couldn’t see me.”
Garrett looks to the side, then back at me. “I’m no expert, but it sounds like you’re still dealing with the trauma. How often do you dream about him?”
“At first it was just a handful of times. But it’s been every night for the past few months.”
“It could be your subconscious’ way of telling you to forgive Luke,” he says.
