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He sighs in frustration. I turn back for the window, needing a release from his stare. My reprieve is short lived. He slips his fingers under my chin, turning my face back to his. I avoid his eyes to keep the steam going inside me.
“Don’t… come on, look at me, baby,” he coaxes me like a snake charmer.
I lift my eyes to his. He searches my face without a word for several moments. I feel like he’s looking into the core of who I am, seeing my past.
Fear creeps in as I think of things he can find there. Not fear of his discovery, but fear of having to deal with what’s lurking there.
“Unfortunately for you, you signed an agreement to be my fiancée and that includes wearing that ring,” he finally murmurs. “You don’t owe me anything, but I need you to see this through with me. For reasons I’ll explain at another time, I’m asking you to do this.”
“Why not explain them now? As a matter of fact, why not explain why me? Why am I here?” I bite out.
“Because I’m still in love with you,” he says without taking even a moment to think.
Pulling my face from his hold, I frown, as if tasting something sour. My skin still scorches even after the contact is broken. His eyes remain on me, but he reaches his hand out for the box on the table.
“Why now?” I say just above a whisper.
He shakes his head, this time his eyes drop to the box in his hand. I watch as a wide range of emotions run over his face, faster than I can read them. When his eyes lift to mine again, I see nothing but pain.
“I thought of coming back to you every single day for seven years. At first, I knew I couldn’t. For all the reasons I let you go to begin with. I couldn’t. Then, I convinced myself to keep a promise I could never keep in the end,” he says.
“But you made it,” I say louder than I mean to. “They were your words.”
“And I knew it to be a lie from the time they left my mouth. Chloe, that’s our past. I want to make this right for our future,” he says, almost pleading.
I shake my head, turning from him. “I don’t think that’s possible,” I mutter.
He shifts in the seat next to me, leaning in closer. He pauses for a moment before placing his forehead against the side of mine. I close my eyes as I soak in the feel of him.
“I used to think many things were impossible. These last seven years have been one of the worse parts of my life. Yet, I pushed through, secretly hoping that somehow life would bring you back to me. It has and I’m not letting go this time. So, it’s possible.
“Just breathe, baby. Let me in enough to show you. Take all the time you need, if that’s what you want, but open the door. Let me in. I’ll work with that,” he whispers against my temple.
Tears soak my lashes. I almost open my mouth to tell him why I can’t, but the moment his arms wrap around me—pulling me into his embrace—all I can do is nod. A war rages within me. One I’m not sure I’ll survive.
I’ve needed this hug for so long.
The words whisper in my head, but my heart doesn’t want to receive them. Hurt, angry, bitter, all of those describe the woman I’ve become, but I’m also the woman who has longed for his comfort so desperately—before I became all those things. I know he can’t fix it. Yet, I open the door just a crack in hopes that he knows how to stop this pain.
Tell him. Tell him now.
I ignore the voice within because I don’t know how or where to begin. For now, I just allow him to hold me. I take the strength he’s offering me. I need it more than he will ever know.
“One day at a time,” he says gently. “We’ll take it one day at a time.”
