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Chapter 11
Hidden Secrets
Addison
I sigh when Gregor’s phone goes to voice mail again. If he boarded the plane when I texted him last, he should be here by now. I don’t think he understands I need him here.
Gregor thinks I want to control him. At first, I thought that was what I wanted too. I had all the cards and intended to play them. I had every intention of revealing my hand to all the right players.
I did my research. I know everything there is to know about Gregor, even many of the things he believes he hides well. I know his weaknesses.
I know what challenges him. I knew just how I planned to manipulate him, but that time has passed.
I had to give up the grand plan I had. I blame it on karma. She served me a dish and flavored it in shit. I’ve done many things I can’t say I’m proud of, but I never thought I deserved this.
A judgment that has rung so loud it will ripple through the earth long after I’m gone. Two months ago, the final blow was dealt. My hopes and dreams of a turnaround have laughed and abandoned me.
I don’t have the energy to be a woman scorned or a vindictive bitch, nor do I have the time. I have to concede to my loss. There was a time when I wanted nothing more than to be Mrs. Clooney Gregor Hennessy Jr.
I thought I was on my way to that prize once. Gregor and I worked side by side for months, years. I was there whenever he needed. I was whatever he needed.
One night, after a gala, I could see he needed to scratch an itch and I was there for it. Gregor had been in one of his moods and we’d both had a lot to drink. I thought I could help him with his brooding disposition.
One thing led to another, and I’d gotten comfortable in his bed. Gregor warned me that he wasn’t looking for more. As time went on, it was I who had ignored his warnings. I’d been sure I could get him to want more, but it took too long for me to see he would never want anything more than a warm bed.
When I’d made a play to establish our relationship in public, he was furious and made that fact known. I’d been embarrassed and felt so stupid when he sent me off to Dubai not too long after. It was as clear a blow off as any.
I’d resolve myself to lick my wounds in silence, which I would have. After all, I didn’t have much of a choice. I still had my job and benefits when he had every right to throw me out on my ass.
Unfortunately, I had already made my final move with very poor timing—not knowing all the things that were stacked against me. I didn’t understand I would tip my hand in the wrong direction so badly.
There was no way I could just fade into the background. Fate had a cruel joke she wanted to play on me. There would be no sulking and moving on.
The Universe had other plans for me. While I was plotting against Gregor, the stars snickered as they plotted against me. Somewhere along the line, I’d lost Gregor’s trust, just as I should have.
I played the game poorly and continued to do so. I’ve kept things from him that he should’ve known. Now, it’s all coming back for me. I’ve run out of time.
I can hear in his voice his patience is running thin with me. He believes I want to trap him here. That ship has sailed.
I need him. This isn’t about wanting the perfect husband and a lavish life. I need Gregor here in Dubai.
Once, I thought it best to try to get him to at least agree to transfer me to the States. Now, that’s not even an option. This has nothing to do with me.
Life is so precious. We all make mistakes, but we should never take life for granted. I did once.
I felt entitled to so much. I thought I could take what I wanted because of my beauty and the circles I fought, schemed, and climbed to run in.
Heck, I continued to think I was owed the world, even after I received the bittersweet pill of reality. When faced with the decision to choose what was more important to me, I made the choice that has led me here.
I often question that choice. I don’t know if I made the right one, but I can’t say that I regret it. My mistake was thinking that I was invincible.
I thought I could wield my feminine power for everything I needed in this life, but life has given me a big slap on the hand. I can’t shake my tits and make this one go away. I’ll have to pay my penance.
I think back to when I first set my sights on Gregor. He’s one of the good ones. I wanted him to fall for me.
I wanted the love I saw in his eyes when he looked at that picture in his desk. The Black girl with the wild red hair and the sparkling eyes. The one in the picture Gregor takes out to stare at when he thinks no one is around to pay attention.
She’s a gorgeous woman. The only thing she and I have in common is the color of our red hair. I don’t know why I thought that was enough for me to replace her.
