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Incubus
The next morning, I woke up to a text from Devon.
"Sorry. I fell asleep early last night. Maybe we can try again later this week?"
Later this week? Was he kidding? We hadn't talked in days. Days. By the time we talked, it'd probably be a full week. For fuck's sake, I talked to my mom more often than that. Shouldn't a person talk to their fiancé more than once a week? Was I the crazy one? Was that too much?
I quickly wrote him back. "Sure. Let me know. Love you."
When I peeked out into the living room, I saw that Josh and Magic were already gone. Well, no wonder, I'd slept till noon. And poor Magic couldn't hold it that long.
Maybe that's why Josh had slept on the couch... so he wouldn't wake me up in the morning, knocking on the door for Magic.
Whatever the reason, I had slept amazingly well.
And then, the events of last night crashed over me, and I remembered why exactly I had been so upset in the first place.
The three-year anniversary of my dad's disappearance.
Collapsing back on the couch, I realized something, however. Sure, it still felt terrible. And I was still the worst daughter in the world. But sharing everything with Josh had helped me. Having someone tell me it wasn't my fault had helped me. Having someone believe me had helped me.
Staring at the two empty beer bottles and ice cream cartons on the coffee table, I realized something else.
Devon hadn't even brought up the date. He hadn't remembered... even though I'd reminded him the last time we'd spoken.
And you know what? I wasn't going to say anything to him about it. I hated playing games, and I rarely did it. But I was going to test him. I was going to see if he remembered.
Throughout the day, I talked to my family, talked to my mom, even talked to my brother who was now in Colorado, leading hikes in the Rockies.
And in a strange, fateful way, this sad day of remembrance fell on a Sunday, so I enjoyed a nice meal with my grandparents, where we shared bittersweet memories about my dad, and they reminisced about his childhood.
In the evening, I went over to Josh's and brought some leftovers for us to eat during the game. And somehow Josh just seemed extra caring, asking how I was doing, how I had spent the day, not teasing me as much.
He was proving to be an amazing friend.
I kept checking my phone, but there was nothing, not a single word from Devon. And I could hardly even believe it. What was happening with him? Was he about to run off with Violet? Was that it, or was I being paranoid?
Maybe he was just crazy busy. I couldn't even imagine the work that went into starting up a new law office.
But I never heard from him that day. Or the next day.
And now, a new test began. I decided I wouldn't call him or text him. He'd have to contact me if he wanted to talk.
The days flew past, Josh and I persevering on our podcast, slowly gaining listeners. I wasn't ready to give up my day job anytime soon, but we were doing a little bit better. And the best part was we both enjoyed it.
What was there not to like? I got to watch baseball and talk about it.
Even though I found my new job so fulfilling, a river of despair started to trickle through the cracks of my heart. I still hadn't heard from Devon. It had been days.
And before I knew it, an entire week had gone by. No calls. Not even a single text.
I could hardly believe it. Devon had absolutely failed my test. But really, I was the one who had failed. Because what exactly had my test proven? That my fiancé didn't even care about me anymore?
Were we even together at this point?
It was so heartbreaking, I couldn't even tell anyone. Not my mom. Not Anaya. Not Josh. Because it was also damn humiliating. Clearly, my fiancé wasn't into me anymore.
What was that book? That movie? He's Just Not That Into You.
