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I heard BeLew sigh as they got the buggy to move, and it rolled to where I was standing. It stopped, and they stood there, waiting. “I’m right behind you, boys. Go on.”
They didn’t move.
“BeLew, what’s the problem?” Lewis came to my side and looked at the man. “Lewis,” I scolded. “Why am I repeating myself?”
He turned and walked on with his brother, one pushing and one pulling the supplies. I brought the gun back to my side and walked backward until we reached the clearing.
The shoe didn’t move again.
Beau cried soft tears. His sweet hiccups tore at my heart. Seeing the man must have scared him, but there was no time to console him until we were further along.
I jogged the rest of the way to the site. The cement structure that held Dean’s apartment and garage remained intact. His military background and paranoid father had resulted in him creating a near-perfect bomb shelter on their land. Their house appeared destroyed in the distance, but Dean’s grey apartment building looked unscathed. I had spent so much time in that house growing up. All that was left of our memories was rubble, and a pang echoed in my heart at all we’d lost. I wondered if Dean’s apartment would survive the fourth storm, but it wasn’t worth the gamble. I had to move on, and forget this part of my life.
The keypad was on battery, and we had coded my handprint into the system. It unlocked as I pressed my palm to the sensor, and I opened the door, turning back to usher the boys toward me. On the inside, the garage-style gate opened with a crank, and I felt my arms and shoulders burn as I turned and turned and turned until it was completely open, giving Dean’s Jeep an exit.
BeLew stood in the doorway. Both boys had tears sprinkled on their cheeks. “Get in the Jeep. Find the keys.” I swallowed hard, ignoring their emotions for now, and ignoring mine, too. My gut knotted when I thought about the man. Mothers made tough choices. That’s what I did back there.
Loading our bags into the back, I heard the vehicle roar to life with Lewis sitting next to the steering wheel. He had turned the key. I yelled over the engine, “Good, it starts. Both of you step out. Get the red cans over there. Load them in.”
Ready to leave, my hands shook with nerves. We were another step closer. “Give me hugs, boys,” I said, reaching for them. “We’ll be on the road for hours. You can relax. We’re okay.” I was convincing myself as well.
“Will the man be okay?” Lewis asked.
“He was hurt,” Beau added. “Lewis said he needs our help.”
I stopped and looked at them both. “Is that why you were crying?”
“You said to be like Captain America,” Lewis sniffled. “Captain America would help him.”
Beau nodded his head in agreement.
“Get in the Jeep,” I ordered. “We can’t help him. We need to help ourselves right now.”
BeLew climbed in with their heads low. I turned back to tell them to buckle in and saw the glare they gave me… the disgust in their eyes. It cut into my gut.
My sister’s words echoed in my head. You won’t ever understand how hard motherhood is. You can’t say no.
Maybe she was right, even in death.
Maybe that’s why I backed the Jeep into the clearing as far as it could go. Maybe her words were true even now, as I pulled a nearly lifeless man, eighty pounds heavier than myself, down a dirt path.
I knew she was right when I reached the back of the vehicle and saw the smiles on BeLew. The pride that passed between us was so thick I could almost taste it.
“Captain Americas,” I panted. “Get the rope so I can pull him up.”
