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If every bed was down in the room, no one would be able to walk. I could barely walk through then, but I shot to the rear of the room and started lowering the bunk beds. The boys needed food and sleep — in that order. We had collapsible cups I could fill in the sink, and I still had more snacks in one of our bags. Sheets were already on the beds and the boys began an intense discussion about who would be on the top and bottom bunk.
I heard a creak and chains and saw Dean was lowering the other bed towards the front of the room. Then he lifted Sam and set him on the mattress.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“You can barely walk, and he’s out cold, Row. How would you lift him?”
“Why are you putting him on my bed? He needs medical attention.”
“Dammit Row, he can’t get in the medical bay for days. Have you looked around? Do you know how many hurt and injured people we are dealing with right now? It’s women and children first, anyway. Patch him up as best you can.”
“Aunt Row says we don’t say dammit,” Lewis mumbled, already laying on the bottom bunk.
“You made the choice to save him,” Dean pointed out. “So, save him, Row.”
“What is this, the Titanic? Shouldn’t it be the worst injuries first?” I shot back.
“Listen, I’ve seen a lot of injuries over my lifetime. If he’s still breathing, he’ll pull through,” Dean snipped, and walked to the locker. He opened it and grabbed some duct tape and soap. “You may need to stitch him and clean him up is all. I’m worried about infection, but there isn’t much you can do for that but wait. I’ll see what supplies I can bring tomorrow.”
“You want me to stitch him up with duct tape?” I stammered.
“It should do the job for now. Luckily, you have it. Cabinets and lockers fly open with the ship’s movement when the latches break. Sometimes you have to tape shit closed.”
Lewis shot his gaze toward Dean and gave him what we lovingly called the “stink eye.” I winked at him and turned my attention back to Dean, moving my hands to my hips.
“That’s it, then?” I asked. “You don’t care if someone dies?” I might as well have said the words to a brick wall. Dean never cared about my fears or opinions.
“This room divides like this,” Dean added, pulling open a collapsible accordion wall, ignoring my question. “It looks flimsy, but it seals the room off nicely so the boys have their own space. You can clip it to either side of the sink so you can wash up. Bathrooms are down the hall to your right and here are the keys. I care people are dying, but, yeah, that’s it. Take a moment to realize that you did this to yourself. I can’t risk this stranger taking medical care from someone else.”
He turned and walked through the narrow door of our new home, throwing the keys on Sam’s stomach. I counted three and knew he held the other one. “D-Dean,” I stuttered. “Wait just a minute.”
The reality was setting in that I would be alone in that room, responsible for three lives. I had accepted the possibility of our death at the hands of mother nature or Murphy’s Law until then. But at that moment, we were safe. If I lost someone in our room that night, it was all on me.
He faced me, raising both hands to either side of the doorway, and leaned forward. “I’d tell you to rest, but I know you’ll stay up tending to him, so I best let you do it.”
His eyes held a mix of sadness and frustration. Sam was another example that I had failed to follow orders, and it pissed Dean off. He’d risked so much getting us here, and we’d almost thrown it away. I’d let him down, and my stomach churned while I considered what that meant for my future.
I wrapped my arms around his middle and pressed my cheek to his chest, holding his body firm against mine. He dropped his hands from the frame and hugged me back with a shaky exhale. We held each other for too long, breathing together in unison. His body was so familiar to me, and if BeLew weren’t watching right then, I would’ve kissed him with all the strength I had left.
When we broke our embrace, he held my face in his hands and touched his forehead to mine. “Row, I think if you wanted him to make it, you would have given him a different name. Seems a bit… unlucky.”
I stepped away and grabbed the door, clenching my teeth to hide the pain from my face. His cruel remark snapped me back to reality. “I was lucky to have Samuel when I did. Lucky for it, Dean. You don’t feel that way, and it’s your loss.” I pulled the door closed as Dean left us, and I began the daunting task of removing Sam’s bloody clothes.
