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“What do you mean?” I ask as he removes his arm, letting me pack up and zip my suitcase up.
“When you first came to me, after we reduced your meds, you were confident, in charge, and even if you didn’t do crowds, you were comfortable around the people who made you comfortable. After your attack, you went inside yourself again and you feared your own shadow. I didn’t even get to tell you how proud Ten and I were when you stood up on that stage.”
“Thank you,” my blush comes back full force. I don’t think I still have a crush on Tucker, but I don’t think it’ll ever truly go away. He was the first person to ever make me feel comfortable again after being so lost.
“You still want to leave?” He asks.
“Yes.” I answer.
“How about we go for a walk around the block with Coco, get us some Costa Rican food. I found a good place here and then come back for your bags?” Tucker offers.
“I, I…”
“We’ll take your bags downstairs and leave them by the stairs. That way you can have either or as an option.”
“Okay.” I nod. “But I’m taking the duffel bag just in case.”
Tucker nods. He takes the suitcase and the duffel from me while I get Coco, then we head down the stairs.
Talking to Tucker hasn’t really changed my mood, but I’m glad he’s here. Once we reach the bottom of the stairs, Tucker leaves my bags where he said he would and carries my duffel with him. As if there’s an alarm alerting Walt, he walks up to us and stands in front of me.
“Where are you going?” He asks.
I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him. Telling him to move without speaking.
He looks past me and I can tell he sees the bags. “You seriously packed? You’re leaving? Everie, we talked about this already. It wasn’t even done on purpose. What the fuck.”
“We’re going to take a walk with Coco while we talk. The bags are staying here while we spend some time together talking over everything. We’ll be back, Walt.” Tucker says, calmly letting Walt know that I have made no official decision.
I’m not trying to break up with Walt or anything like that. I just think I need my space. That way, I can breathe easily when I’m reacting like this. Walt isn’t going to just stop doing things for Moonlight because she was his ex. She was someone he deeply cared about, and I don’t want to be angry every single time. I want to not witness it all.
I know Moonlight is with Whit, and she loves Whit with her whole heart. She’s an absolute sweetheart, and I don’t want to be upset around her, making her uncomfortable. She’s my friend now and I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize my new friendships over my jealousy, so I’d rather be jealous in my space where no one can be made uncomfortable.
Walt doesn’t realize it or rather know it yet, but if the tables were turned, I wouldn’t be in the same house as my ex, amnesiac or not, so I need the same courtesy. That’s all.
Walt cups my face in his hands and gives me a kiss on the lips that I don’t return. It’s not that I don’t want to, but all I can think of right now is that he needs to get all his memories back before I get hurt. I don’t want to be hurt.
Walt sighs and kisses my forehead before moving out of our way. “Do you want anything for dinner, at least? Since it seems you’ll be back later?”
I fire off in rapid Spanish, not caring that he doesn’t understand. When I’m truly upset, I can’t seem to speak English to save my life.
“I don’t understand, Everie!” He yells back, exasperated.
Tucker chuckles, then clears his throat. “The short appropriate version, she said, ask Moonlight.”
“Are you serious right now, Everie?”
“EV-VE-REST!” I grit, then walk out, slamming the door shut.
People aren’t lying. Jealousy will choke the living hell out of you and make you into someone you don’t recognize.
I walk up to the gate and wait for Tucker. When he approaches, I look up at him. “I don’t think I want to be hurt.” I whisper.
“Who’s going to hurt you?”
“Walt. When he remembers, he’s going to hurt me not physically but emotionally.”
“Why do you say that?”
