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THIRTY-TWO
I’d never lived with a man before. Paul and I had both lived in dorms with roommates when we met, and by the time I got an apartment he’d moved to California. We’d spent long vacations together, but we’d never mixed ourstuffin one place.
Liam didn’t have much stuff—he’d been traveling light for years, he told me—but his presence immediately pervaded the house, a clean salty smell like the sea, a peaty tang from the Irish whiskey he sipped watching the sunset from the front porch when he’d finished writing for the day, and something sweet and evasive, like a breath of honeysuckle on a summer breeze. The ledges of the windowsills and the empty bowls and baskets filled with things he brought back from his walks—a twisted piece of honeysuckle vine that looked like driftwood, round gray riverstones, a bird’s nest—things a twelve-year-old boy or a nineteenth-century naturalist might collect…or, I sometimes thought, the things a wild animal might bring back to its lair.
I didn’t want him to feel as if he were squatting in the house rather than really living in it, though, so on the weekend before classes were to begin we borrowed Brock’s pickup truck and drove out into the country to comb antiques shops to turn one of the spare bedrooms into his study. We found a Stickley Morris chair and a Victorian rolltop desk in an antiques barn in Bovine Corners. The town still creeped me out a bit after my night drive though it, but they did have some great antiquesand a general store that sold artisan cheeses, fresh-baked bread, and homemade chutneys and jams. We probably could have bought everything he needed there, but it was a sunny day, the temperature above freezing for the first time in weeks, and the hills beyond Bovine Corners seemed to beckon.
We drove farther east into Delaware County, across snow-covered fields and sun-burnished mountains that Liam said reminded him of his home, and through farmland and small lonely villages whose once grand Victorian and Greek Revival houses were sadly faded and dilapidated. Many of the farms outside these villages had clearly been deserted. The long ridgepoles of their barns sloped like the backs of horses that had been ridden too long and hard. Some had collapsed completely and lay like great mastodon skeletons rotting in the fields.
We stopped at another antiques store on the way back.
“That’s pretty,” Liam said when he saw me looking at a lovely old-fashioned emerald-and-diamond engagement ring. The old woman who ran the shop seized the opportunity to open the case.
“Ah, the gentleman has a good eye. That’s my best piece—got it from the Trask estate over by Glenburnie. Victorian, platinum setting, one-carat emerald flanked by two half-carat diamonds.” She took the ring out of its velvet case and handed it to Liam instead of me. He held the ring up in the weak wintry sunlight, turning it back and forth to release a spray of fiery sparks in the dull, dusty shop. Then he took my hand and slipped the ring onto my ring finger. It fit perfectly.
“It’s lovely,” I said, holding my hand up in the light. The old stones glittered as if they held a spark of forgotten life inside of them. Then I turned my hand over and read the price tag. “But expensive.” I started to take the ring off but Liam had already had a quick whispered confab with the shop owner, who was smiling like a schoolgirl at something Liam had said. He grabbed my hand and pushed the ring back on my finger.
“It belongs to you,” he said. “I want you to have it.”
I looked down at my hand. It was my right hand, not my left, sonotan engagement ring. Still, it was a diamond ring. “Oh, Liam, it’s beautiful, but I don’t know…”
He held my hand up in the light again. A bit of the spark from the diamonds lit up his eyes. “The diamonds remind me of the snow in the moonlight New Year’s Eve,” he said, and then leaning down to whisper in my ear, “and the emerald is the color of your eyes when we make love.”
I felt the warmth of his breath on my ear travel straight down my spine.
“Well, I’d better keep it then,” I said, my voice wobbly with desire. “I can’t have anyone else wearing those memories.”
That night when we made love I twined my hands around the bedpost as I had on the night before New Year’s Eve. The moonlight caught the ring and cast a spray of diamond-and-emerald starlight across Liam’s face. It made him look insubstantial—as if he might dissolve into a zillion atoms and blow away. I unwound my hands from the bedpost and gripped his arms instead, his hard, solid biceps, and remembered what he’d told me that night.
Hold on, he’d said.
And so I did.
Of course it was the ring that my students noticed first.
“Oooh, Professor McFay, did you get engaged over the break?” Flonia and Nicky asked simultaneously.
“It’s the wrong hand,” Mara said, pressing in between Flonia and Nicky and reaching out to touch my hand. “She’d be wearing it on her left hand if she were engaged, right, Dr. McFay?”
“Yes,” I admitted, surprised Mara knew such a thing. Apparently Nicky thought so, too.
“How do you know that, Mara?” she asked.
“I read it in one of Dean Book’s magazines.Your left hand says you’re taken.” Mara moved her hand to touch my left hand, and then back to my right where she left it.“Your right hand says you can take over.”I recognized the slogan from an ad campaign that had run a few years ago. It had annoyed me at the time because even though the ads seemed to promote an image of women as independent and capable, it had also suggested that the woman who couldn’t afford to go out and buy an expensive ring for herself was somehow lacking in those qualities. It had also made me want to go out and buy a ring and I could still remember another line from the ad:Your left hand believes in shining armor. Your right hand thinks knights are for fairy tales. “So she must have bought it for herself, right, Professor McFay?”
I should have been glad for a graceful evasion to my students’ prying questions, but when I saw the disappointed looks in their eyes I smiled enigmatically and, removing my hand from under Mara’s, wiggled my fingers so that the diamonds and emerald caught the light.
“Maaaybe,” I sang, “or maaaybe not.” My studentsoohed as I waved them back to their seats with a flourish that made the ring flash again. “Now let’s get to work. You were supposed to have readDraculaover the vacation.”
Theoohs were soon replaced by groans as my students complained about Lucy Westenra’s passivity in the book. I’d hoped that they’d have exactly that reaction. I wanted them to be impatient with the helplessness of the heroines of Gothic novels so that they could fully appreciate the Buffys and Sookies of the modern vampire genre. I also wanted them to stop wondering who gave me the ring, but in that I failed, sabotaged by Liam showing up at the end of the class with a book I’d forgottenat home.
I believe it took about five minutes after that for the news that I was “shacking up with” and “nearly engaged to” Liam Doyle to spread throughout the campus.
“I didn’t know you wanted to keep it a secret,” Liam said later when I confronted him at home. “I don’t. I want to shout it from the rooftops. Why do you want to keep it a secret?”
I had no good answer for that and I didn’t want to fight. I felt tired suddenly from the stress and excitement of being back at work after a long break.
“Maybe you’re right,” I said, letting my head drop and rubbing my neck. I feltachyas well as tired. Maybe I was acting so cranky with Liam because I was coming down with something.
