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CHAPTER41
Owen
I’m in the games room, earbuds blasting music that fails to drown out Evie’s moans. The video ends, and I tap to replay it. It’s no wonder I felt like she enjoyed our time together. Shedid.But despite my honest intentions for re-watching this video a thousand times since the Firefly Ball, I still feel wrong knowing she never consented to it.
“You know there’s a site for that now, right?” If Sterling hadn’t been yelling, I wouldn’t have heard him through the music. I snatch out one of my earbuds and twist my head to glare at him over the back of the couch.
“I thought you’d all gone to the game.”
“Forgot my phone,” Sterling says. “And I’m expecting a very important call.”
“From your mother?” I quip dryly, setting my phone in my lap, screen down.
“Nice one.” Sterling grabs the back of the couch and vaults over it, landing so hard that I almost bounce off the seat. He beckons at my phone. “Lemme see.”
“Fuck off.”
“You’re no fun,” he says, and then narrows his eyes. “Wait… I remember that one. I sent it to you like months ago.” He digs in his pocket and takes out his phone. When I lunge at him to take it away, he holds it up out of reach with a laugh. “Whoa, easy, tiger. You’ve got no say in what porn I do and donotwatch.”
“Sterling…”
He frowns at the serious tone in my voice. “What? Like I’m going to judge you? I was the one who forwarded it to you.”
I clench my jaw, but his curiosity is already piqued. And, judging from how quickly he locates that old video on his phone, it was probably only a matter of time before he watched it again.
This is what I say to try to console myself, of course. It doesn’t help, because I know what’s coming.
Sterling starts playing the video, a lewd grin on his face as he bobs his head up in down in appreciation. “Oh, yeah… this was a good one. Excellent production value for such an amateurish…”
His grin slowly fades. His eyes dart to me before going back to his phone. “Dude.No.Is that…?”
I sigh as I rake my fingers through my hair. “Yeah.”
“JesusfuckingChrist. Iknewshe looked familiar.”
Sterling glances up at me again, eyes narrowed. “How long have you known it was her? Did you recognize her straight away? Is that why you’ve been so obsessed with her? Bro!”
“I didn’t—” I cut off, growling. “I had no idea until now, okay? Now could you stop watching, you fucking perv?”
“Yeah, fine,” Sterling says through a laugh. “It’d be weird anyway, especially if you guys started dating.”
I let out a bitter chuckle. “No chance of that.”
He gives me a dismissive wave as he lifts his hips from the couch to rummage inside his pocket for his box of cigarettes. He pulls out a joint and lights it, his voice tight as he holds in the smoke. “Everyone’s a little shook up about Willow right now. Soon as the terror of watching someone else’s existential crisis boil over fades, she’ll come running back to you.”
I hesitate when he offers the joint to me, but I finally take it from him. Maybe it’ll drown out the shopping list of memories that keep scrolling through my mind.
Re-watching that video didn’t help, of course, but I told myself it was a means to an end. Now I’m more stumped than before.
“Christ, should I light my own?” Sterling asks. I realize I’ve smoked half the blunt by myself. He takes it with a deep frown creasing his brow. “What’s up with you lately? You’ve been weird as fuck.”
I shrug. “Just got shit on my mind.”
“Yeah, we all do, Owen, but you know that’s not what I’m talking about. Plus, you were acting strangewaybefore Willow went up that bell tower.”
Thank God for the weed, else I might have socked Sterling in the fucking jaw for the unnecessary reminder that I’d nearly cost someone their life.
I sit forward, intending to stand, but Sterling lays a hand on my shoulder. It shouldn’t, but that weight keeps me seated. That, and the weed. Sterling likes the kind of shit that gives you roots.
