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“Rust? How’d he get your number?”
“I don’t know, but I’ve got him here on the phone,” she said, bewildered. “What do you want me to say?”
I gestured for her cell. “Give me the phone.”
I took a deep breath to center myself and answered. “Hello?”
“Oh my God,”Rust said. I’d never heard him sound like this before. He sounded frantic, choked up, and angry. “You, Isabelle. It wasyou! I can’t believe it.”
“What was me? What are you talking about, Rust?” I asked defensively. I didn’t like being accused of something and not even knowing what.
“The video of Laura! You sent that to me!”
Oh.
Shit.
His words hit me like a freight train. I couldn’t think. All I could do was panic.
Shit shit shit.
Shit fuck.
My palms instantly grew damp, and my throat chalky. Adrenaline dumped into my bloodstream, making my heart race and my stomach sour.
This wasnothingcompared to what Rust had done. I’d completely fucked up. And I thought I could keep him from finding out?
This was what I was afraid of all along.
It was over.
“Rust … let me explain,” I croaked at last.
“You won’t have to,” he said, and the line went dead.
Wewere over.
I could hear it in his voice.
“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck!” I said, trying to call him back, but my hands were trembling too much to manage it. “What the fuck do I donow?!”
“What happened?” the girls asked.
I turned to April. “He knows. He found out.”
“About what?” she asked.
“He knows we sent him the video.”
April’s jaw dropped. Farrah was stunned, too. “What?How?”
“I have no idea. But he knows. And now there’s nowaythings can be fixed.”
“Fuck,” April murmured. “Throw me under the bus, Izzy. Tell him it was all my idea. It’strue,you know.”
I shook my head. “It won’t matter. I was part of it. And I never told him.” I buried my face in my hands and wailed. “God, why?! Why didn’t Itell him?! I had so many chances to tell him, and I just didn’t … Icouldn’t.”
The girls tried to keep me calm.
