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“Unless you’re capable of thinking that far ahead.”
“What?” I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. “What are you saying?”
“Why’d you want to go to school in Las Vegas anyway, Isabelle?” he asked, though it sounded like another accusation.
“Uhh … because I wanted to go somewhere far from home? Because I like the desert and I’ve always had a thing for Las Vegas? Do I really need to explain myself?”
“Is that why? Or was it because you were following the Vegas expansion draft projections? And, figuring that I was the player the Vegas Sin were most likely to draft from Winnipeg, you thenapplied to school at UNLV, because you knew your best bet of hooking up with me was to come to Vegas?”
I couldn’t help it; I laughed. “What?I did not understand a single thing you just said.”
“Yes or no: did you move to Vegas because you knew I was going to be here?”
“Seriously?” I was mildly offended he’d asked. “I like you, Rust, but I’m not some psycho stalker. And I think it’s cool that you’re a hockey player and all, but I am notthatinto hockey to be tapped into who’s signing where or whatever. I didn’t even know Vegas was going to geta team when I came to school here. Everything that happened between us happened organically.”
“Like the first time you ‘organically’ sent me one of your pictures, right?”
My nostrils flared. “Don’t be an asshole. I already came clean about that. It’s not fair to throw that in my face.”
“So why didn’t you come clean about this?”
“Because I felt horribleabout it! A week after texting you that video, you split up from Laura and got traded to Winnipeg. It felt likeIdid that.”
“Well, what’d youthinkwas going to happen?” he countered, implying Ihaddone it.
“So you would’ve preferred to not find out your wife was cheating on you, then?”
He grumbled and dodged the question. “I just wish you would’ve told me. Why didn’t you? It’s kind of a big thing to tell someone, don’t you think? Can’t you see why it’s making me suspicious about other things?”
“Like what else?”
“I need you to be honest with me, Isabelle.”
“I promise I will, always.”
“Was the pregnancy really an accident?”
“Yes, Iswear.”
He gave a defeated laugh. “And Iwantto believe you. But the thing I keep asking myself now is, how do I know when you’re telling me the truth?”
“You just have to trust me,” I said, fully aware I was on shaky ground.
“Too bad, because that just got really, really hard to do,” he grumbled. “I don’t know, Isabelle.” His end went quiet, and I heard his heavy breaths. “I want to trust you. But let’s be honest. You don’t have the best track record.”
Hearing that hurt. But I knew he was right.
“I know. I’ve fucked up so many times. I’ve kept things so many things secret. I’m a terrible person,” I said. “But Iwantto be better. And I don’twantto keep secrets from people anymore. I only did it because I felt insecure that people wouldn’t accept me for who I am and what I’ve done. But you’ve taught me so much, that I don’t have to be ashamed of who I am. That’s why I was able to talk to my dad today and—”
He cut me off. “I just don’t know if I can trust you again. This is bad,Isabelle. Really bad. I basically learned that you engineered my divorce. How am I supposed to look at you the same again?”
It felt like he was rubbing my face in my mistake. I didn’t like it. What gave him the right to be mad atme,when I’d learned bad things about him?”
“I withheld things, yeah,” I began, “but at least I never straight-upliedto your face.”
He scoffed. “Lied? What are you talking about?”
“You told me that when Mom got pregnant with me, you were all pumped up and excited for Dad, because you were hoping a baby would help him get serious about his hockey career. Well, guess what, I talked to Dad about it today, and that isnotthe story he told me.”
