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My foot grew heavy, urging me to put the car into reverse and leave. But as I did, Jack looked up and our eyes met.
One look and I knew exactly what he was thinking. And I knew he knew what I was thinking as well. A stern look replaced the open one I’d seen just moments ago with Lana, driving the knife further into my heart. That one look removed any hope that there would ever be anything between us other than reluctant acceptance of the situation that had been forced upon us.
I wanted to leave. Wanted to turn around and scatter the dust of the road all over them both.
But I couldn’t.
Because ultimately, despite the hope that had bloomed earlier, I knew I hadn’t come here to see Jack. What had truly brought me here was Darla.
Darla was out there somewhere, and she was depending on me to find her.
To rescue her from the exact situation that was making Jack and me so miserable.
So I watched, my heart aching, as Lana turned her car around and made her way past my car without once looking over at the witch whose eyes followed her. Hate gnawed at my insides and I wished more than anything I could direct that feeling toward the warlock that watched her leave.
Closing my eyes briefly, I squared my shoulders and popped the latch to the car door. As the door opened, Jack slowly approached, never taking his eyes from me. Was he angry that I had shown up as he had seen Lana off? Did he feel like I had intruded on something I shouldn’t have?
As I stepped out of the car, I wished I could hate him, but as he walked toward me, all that desire and need for him was still right there. Like a phantom limb that wouldn’t let me forget it wasn’t there.
“Claire, it wasn’t what it looked like,” Jack said. Said as if he owed me an explanation. Me, the one he rejected.
The one he continued to reject.
I smiled. I knew the smile on my face was an ugly one. A fake one.
“You don’t have to explain yourself, Jack.” My voice was cool and composed, despite how I felt. “After all, how many times have you told me you didn’t want me? If I hadn’t got the hint by now, that would be my problem.”
“Claire, you know — “
I held up my hand. If there was one thing I didn’t want, it was to hear his excuses. It would have been better if he had just told me the truth. Those excuses hurt more than any truth he could have given me. At least if he had given me the truth, and told me he wanted Lana instead of me, then maybe I could have moved on.
Perhaps not entirely. I would still want him. I didn’t think that there would ever be a day that wouldn’t be true. But maybe at least my heart might finally get on board with what my head already knew.
“I don’t want to talk about that, Jack. I didn’t come over here to interrupt your booty call. Luckily, it looks like you got what you needed out of it. We can talk about something different now.”
What I wanted to say was that I knew what he had gotten out of it. Because I had felt it.
For a minute, it looked as if he might step closer. He was always so careful around me. He always kept a minimum amount of space between us. As if he was afraid to touch me. It always hurt, but I couldn’t remember it ever hurting as much as it did now.
I swallowed the hurt.
“There’s a freak lightning storm at the Tarkington place,” I said, not wanting to think about Lana Rogers anymore. “I heard it on the police scanner.”
“Darla’s power,” he said, his blazing gaze remaining on me.
“Yeah. She may be trying to send us a signal. May be trying to seek help.”
And that was all I needed to say to him. When I had originally come over here, I thought perhaps we were in this together.
Now, I didn’t think that it was a good idea for him to come with me. Darla needed me to save her. I could save Darla. I knew I could.
“Anyway,” I said, pulling the car door open once again and making my way back into the driver’s seat. “I just wanted to let you know what was going on.”
“Where the hell are you going?” he asked, wrenching the car door back as I attempted to shut it.
“I’m going to help Darla. You can stay right here and do whatever it is you do after you get through fucking Lana.”
“I told you it wasn’t like that.”
