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CHAPTER 4
LANDON
I’m determined to keep Piper safe, but having her in my home, sharing space with her so she’s so close and so far at the same time, is really difficult for me. She’s been staying with me for six thousand minutes, give or take because I haven’t been keeping an exact count. Well, not that I would admit.
The day when I pried the threatening card from her fingertips, a rage I’ve never felt before overtook me. The thought of her in danger, of the woman I’ve been treasuring in my heart since the moment I met her, not being safe? It tore at me, and it broke something in me.
Suddenly, everything I had been using as excuses to keep us apart, all the arguments, the defenses, the stupid fucking reasons, melted away and the only thing left in their wake was the pain and the fear in my Piper’s eyes.
Maybe it was too far to demand her to come to my place, but the thought of not being there to protect her and making sure she is safe was something I couldn’t bear. The weight of reality was so much heavier than the weight of my past and the demons I’ve been carrying on my back for years.
For her to call me out on my shit? I don’t think I’ve ever been more attracted to her, and my cock firmly agreed.
I put my guys, my brothers, the only other men I would ever trust Piper’s life to, on the case and then I swept Piper up and declared our workday over. She was quiet while I took her to her place, following her like a shadow as she packed up a few things. Not having her in my home and safe was eating at me and riding me hard.
When she was trying to pack up some of her undergarments, she turned and huffed, her hands slamming down on her hips, her voice insistent, “You don’t need to be right behind me as I do this.”
I got right into her space and noticed immediately how her eyes dilated and darkened with my proximity. I know Piper feels the same way about me as I do her, but seeing it right there close enough to taste almost shredded the last of my control. I was barely hanging on with my fingernails, grasping it, trying to give me enough to get her back home.
“Button,” I growled, and she blinked at me like she was looking at me for the first time, “I’m not leaving your side until we know what the fuck is going on and who sent you that card.” I slid my eyes closed and let myself bleed at her feet. “If what they put in the card, if you were dead? I don’t think,” my voice croaked, and I opened my eyes so she could see my sincerity, “I wouldn’t survive it. Let me do this.”
Piper swallowed hard and nodded her consent before quickly grabbing half her panty drawer and shoving it into her bag as if it prevented me from seeing the scraps of lace and satin. My cock was already begging me to take her to the floor and seeing her panties, imagining how they would look on her, did not help, but I kept it together.
When we got to my place, I gave her a tour and then we proceeded to have the most domestic fucking night of my adult life which involved us making dinner together and drinking wine while we ate. We talked most of the night, actually talked, for the first time since I met her. I realized then how much I was truly depriving myself by not letting her get close to me.
I was missing out on her sweetness, her sense of humor, her outlook on the world which is so filled with light and hope. I was missing out on the possibility of the shards of my heart and soul being mended, pieced back together so they could heal into something better. Something which existed just for her to be sheltered by.
As I laid in bed that night, unable to sleep with her so close and yet so far in the guest room, I made a vow to myself. I won’t be holding her away from me any longer. I’m going to grab her and pull her close, giving her everything I should have since the moment I met her. I’m going to be her shield and her sword, her comfort and her solace.
I’m going to make Piper mine.
I’m just not entirely sure how to go about doing that. As someone who has always been decisive, not knowing is fucking with me.
I see the way she looks at me when she doesn’t think I’m looking. Especially at night when I’m in a pair of shorts and t-shirt or in the morning when we’re having breakfast together, one I cooked. I know she wants me. I’m just worried the space between us, the one I’ve shoved between us, won’t be closed easily.
Since I’ve given up all the lies I’ve been telling myself, the excuses, I’m ready to go at the speed of light to have this woman in my arms, in my life. She’s already in my heart. I just don’t know if she will be right there with me and the thought of her needing more time kills me, but I know it’s my fault.
I make sure to get her coffee in the morning, putting it in a travel mug for her so it’s ready when we leave to head into the office. When I handed it to her the first morning, she looked between me and the cup a few times before blinking and furrowing her eyebrows together.
“I don’t understand,” she mumbled. “I’m supposed to get you coffee?”
I moved into her space and took her hand in mine, bringing it up until she was grasping the cup of coffee while I stared deep into her eyes. “Not here you’re not. This is your home.”
She blushed at my words, and I saw a spark of hope in her eyes before she snuffed it out and shook her head. “I’m just here until it’s safe.”
I made a noncommittal sound, knowing I shouldn’t push her, especially not first thing in the morning after she’d gotten a damn death threat the day before. I knew it could just be some sick joke and didn’t have any credibility. I wasn’t willing to risk it.
I’m still not a few days later.
Especially with the look Owen has been giving me since he barged into my office a moment ago while holding an envelope which looks familiar. I can’t tear my eyes away from it. I know it’s going to be another card, another threat. My gut is screaming the truth of it at me.
“You know what this is,” Owen doesn’t pose it as a question because we both know it’s not. I nod and Owen growls, “Are you going to get your head out of your ass and claim your woman now or are you going to let your shit get in the way of your future?”
My eyes snap up and for the first time in a long time I really look at Owen. It’s been hard for me to do so for the last few months, ever since I found out Ella’s relationship with him, Barrett and Colt. Some days I’m not sure why it even bothered me; I know the kind of men they are and know they’ll treat her right.
When I blew up about the four of them being together, I knew I fucked up immediately, but I’ve had problems letting it go. Maybe because I needed to lash out?
Fuck.
