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“Yeah.”
They looked at each other. “She gonna be a problem?”
“Nothing to be a problem about.”
“Sure.”
Sumpter wandered over. He’d once been a big, affable guy, but lately he’d had a flash temper. ’Roids, Tanner suspected. He’d thought about going that route himself, but his dad’s mistakes, coupled with a healthy fear of what that would do to his long-term career plans, had kept him straight.
“Gotcha,” Penske said.
“What’s going on?” Sumpter asked.
Tanner clapped him on his broad shoulder. “Come over to my place. Play some video games. Put this damn chapter behind us.”
* * *
Three weeks later, Delta was working at the store, running the cash register while Mom took a break in the back room with Dad. She could hear the murmur of their voices but couldn’t make out the words. She knew that they were talking about her, about her desire to move into an apartment with Zora. If Tanner was going to Oregon, she needed to at least be able to go visit him without her parents waiting up each night for her to come home. She’d asked them for some financial help. Not a lot, as Zora was, as expected, being super great about keeping her portion of the rent something she could handle. She had some savings and would use them to pay for tuition and books and most of the rent, but maybe they would help her on other expenses?
She’d seen Tanner exactly once since the memorial service for Carmen. He’d been making plans of his own this summer. He was working for his dad, saving up his own money for college in the fall. He was also dealing with some disappointments because the football team hadn’t offered him a position. He could walk on, if he wanted, though his father was against it. Dr. Les Stahd thought football was a waste of time and only went along with Tanner’s obsession as long as it didn’t get in the way of his own ambitions. Les felt that his son needed all his extra time for his studies, not football. If Tanner got accepted to the team, go with God and play football, but if he didn’t, if Les was footing the entire bill for his son’s schooling, then there was no “walking on.” That was the rule.
The one night Tanner had deigned to stop by, Delta had put on her best jeans and a light blue silk blouse and a pair of black flats without bandages on her right foot. She’d felt the injured tissue, and little stabs of pain reminded her every time she took a step. But she wanted to look her best, as Tanner, who had managed to text her some when he wasn’t working, had definitely become more of a stranger ever since taking up with Amanda and after the disaster of the barbecue.
Still, he’d made a point of wanting to stop by, so she’d gone straight into the frantic zone to make sure she looked as good as possible. If he was going to leave her for Amanda, she wanted to make sure he knew what he was going to be missing. With that grim thought in mind, she’d washed her hair and let it dry straight. She’d combed it down wet, then worked on smoky eyes; upon seeing she’d overdone the eye shadow, she’d wiped off all her makeup and started over, then, satisfied with the results, had added soft pink lipstick and a shiny gloss. She’d done her nails herself with a clear nail polish.
She’d stood back and examined herself critically. Tried on a smile, which fell instantly. She couldn’t fake happiness, and she was anything but happy. The Five Firsts were over. School was over. Carmen was gone. And if things didn’t improve, she and Tanner were over as well.
Her heart had weighed a ton. No matter how much she pretended to be looking forward to moving into an apartment with Zora—if her parents agreed to help, that is—the truth was that Delta didn’t want to contemplate a future without Tanner.
She’d heard his car’s familiar engine approaching and her pulse had sped up. It was a Thursday evening. Not Friday. Not their night. Those days were over. He’d told her he needed to work through the weekend, and she’d told him she had to do the same . . . though her schedule was pretty loose, and she would have moved heaven and earth to be with him, were he available.
Hurrying through the house to the front door, she’d purposely avoided her mother, in the kitchen. Her father had still been at the store. Pushing open the screen door, she’d stepped out into a cool June evening. The longest day of the year, she realized as Tanner, looking heartbreakingly handsome, had headed up the front sidewalk and met her in front of the porch. He’d stopped about ten steps from her, just looking at her. His sober expression made her hold her breath. Suddenly, she hadn’t wanted to know why he’d come to see her. There was something wrong. Something big.
“Delta, I . . .” He swallowed.
“Do you want to come in? Have a lemonade? There’s bound to be some chips around. Jalapeño. Your favorite. You know we always have something from the store.”
She’d been babbling on purpose. Don’t talk. Don’t talk. Don’t say anything I don’t want to hear.
“You look great. Really beautiful.”
The admission had melted her. Stopped her from another rush of words. But he’d looked so . . . sad? Apprehensive? “You look good too.”
“I’ve missed you.”
“Tanner . . . oh, my God! I’ve missed you! It’s been terrible this last month or so. The worst time ever!”
She’d hurried down the steps, and he’d come to her, pulling her to him and holding her like he never wanted to let her go. Her heart soared. It really did. She’d heard that phrase but had never really experienced it before. Tears dampened her lashes. She’d wanted to kiss him, love him, make love to him like she’d promised herself she would but hadn’t had the chance.
But instead of any of those things, he’d gently pulled himself away, his hands moving to her shoulders, where he’d kept her literally at arm’s length.
“I’ve really messed things up,” he said.
“You can’t blame yourself for Carmen.”
“It’s not about that. Not about going under the rope. That was stupid, but . . .”
“What?”
