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“Something else happened.”
She’d drawn a careful breath. “At the barbecue?”
He’d flinched as if she’d hit him. “All I’ve ever wanted was to play football, for a while at least. College football. Maybe make it to the pros, but that’s kind of a pipe dream, I know.”
“I thought you wanted to be a doctor.”
“Well, yeah. I do. That’s always been there. My dad wants it for me, and he screwed up, and we all know how that came out, and yeah, I want to be that for him.”
“You don’t sound convinced.” She wasn’t sure where he was going with this.
“It’s not about that. I fucked up, okay. I fucked up. Would you believe me if I told you I love you?” Before she could respond, he added fervently, “I love you, Delta. I love you.”
“Oh, Tanner. I love you too!”
“And I want to be with you. Marry you. There’s no one like you.”
This was more than she’d hoped for! “I want that too . . .” Tears stood in his eyes, and her overflowing joy was tempered by a very real, building fear.
Something else happened.
He’d stopped talking. He pulled his hands away from her and took a step backward, dashing the tears from his eyes.
“Amanda’s pregnant,” he said, when he finally spoke again. “I shoulda used a condom, but I didn’t. It was at the barbeque. One fucking time, so to speak.” He grimaced. “I wanted to be the one to tell you. Hit me, if you want. Punch me in the gut. This has been the shittiest time of my life, and it looks like it’s going to get shittier. I love you. Not her. Guess it took too long to figure that out, huh?”
He’d looked at her hopefully, wanting her to absolve him. Begging for understanding.
Amanda’s pregnant.
She’d tried to think of something to say, but words eluded her. For an answer she simply turned around, walked back up the steps into the house, and closed the door behind her.
Now she checked behind her at the clock that hung on the wall. Nearly 5:00 p.m. It was three days after the Fourth of July, a holiday she’d spent with her parents at a party on the Willamette River, miles and miles from the West Knoll River, where her high school friends normally gathered. But that was before Carmen’s death. Before Tanner left her. Before Amanda was pregnant.
* * *
Mom and Dad came out of the back of the store and smiled at her in that shit-eating way that denoted they had some big secret. “We have a nest egg for you,” Mom said. “It’s not huge, but it should help you with the rent if you want to get that apartment with Zora.”
Delta was overcome. She’d given up thinking about her future. Without Tanner, there wasn’t one. She hadn’t told her parents about Amanda’s pregnancy, but they’d certainly noticed how sad and miserable she’d been.
“Thank you,” she choked.
“We wish we could send you to Oregon,” her father said. “Just don’t have quite enough right now, and we don’t want you to take on too much student debt.”
“That’s okay. Thank you. I mean it. It’s more than enough. Thank you!”
She reached for them both, and they had a happy, awkward group hug.
After they pulled apart, her dad said, “I don’t know what happened between you and Tanner, but you know how I feel.”
Delta immediately wanted to argue with him about Tanner’s merits. Both of her parents had been lukewarm on their rela
tionship. They didn’t understand what he meant to her.
When she kept her thoughts to herself, he went on, “High school romances often belong in high school.”
“I know, Dad.” She was curt.
“We want you to be happy and successful,” Mom said, which her dad echoed.
