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“What are you doing here?” My dry throat caused some of the words to break. Icoughed, clearing it from the remnants of sleep.
His brow furrowed, my question confusing him more than the blow Ilanded on him. By mistake.
“It’sjust… I’mnot sick,” Isaid, trying to make sense out of asenseless observation.
Working around words instead of saying flat out that Iliked having him here.
Because Icouldn’tgo there, not ever. In the non-verbalized clauses of our unwritten agreement, spending the night for purposes other than assisting asickly me were abig no-no. Expressing what I’dfelt, that Iwished he did it when Iwasn’tacoughing mess too, these were even more off-limits.
So Istuck to this safe, noncommittal statement.
He ruffled his already mussed hair, burying his face in his palm. For aminute or two he said nothing. “Sorry about that. Ithought I’dsober up before driving home. Guess Ifell asleep.”
“Good call.” Ididn’twant him to drive like this either, perpetually exhausted with half abottle of wine in him. Then again, if he really intended to leave, he could’ve called an Uber.
Considering the original plans for the night, Ithought that maybe he stayed for something else. That idea sent apulse of heat from my chest to my center, wiping away any remnants of sleep. Iwasn’tperplexed or in any way doubting what my body craved there, in the middle of the night, with Zach.
Ipeeled the blanket from me, intentionally slow, seductive. Zach’sgaze traced me as Imoved to sit on my knees next to him. Gripping the sleeves of my cotton dress, Itugged them down my arms. The dress dropped next to my thighs, exposing my breasts and stomach to him.
My nipples pebbled and my blood raced through my veins when he whispered “Fuck,” his eyes ravaging my body from my lips to my belly button.
Iwanted more.
Walking on my hands and knees while kicking off the dress from me, Ishoved his shoulder to the mattress and sat on top of him. Imoaned as his erection pushed against my throbbing center, grinding on it slowly as Iunbuttoned his rumpled shirt.
“Laura,” he groaned, then grabbed my hands, halting their advancement. “Laura, hold on.”
Perplexed, Iglanced from his chest up to his face. “What’swrong?”
“Ididn’tstay here to get what Icame here for. I…” He breathed out alaugh, turning his head to the side and then to me. “Not after what you told me. I’mnot like that.”
“Inever said you were likethat.” Iguided our joined hands to my panties.
“Fuck,” he repeated. His resolve weakened and he allowed me to direct him under the fabric.
“Iwant this just as much as you do.”
Something in what Isaid triggered him and he pulled back. “No, I’msorry.” Zach gripped my hips, lifted me as if Iweighed nothing and placed me gently on the bed.
“Ican’t.” He sat up and kissed my cheek, so soft it almost hurt. “I’dfeel like atool for doing it. We’ll have other days.”
Icrossed my arms over my body, suddenly very self-conscious.
“Hey.” Zach cupped my cheeks, encouraging me not to hide but look at him. His lips curved up in akind smile. “You felt me just now, so you know how bad Ihave it for you. But if we fucked, you’dalways have that doubt. You’dalways question my honesty, and Iwon’tever make you feel used like this.”
His earnestness made my heart expand and strain against my chest. Zach acted like areal friend and it meant something to me. It meant alot.
Zach’swarm words and reassurance allowed me to relax. Ibecame limp, sagging into the mattress as he covered my naked body, pulling the blanket up to my shoulders.
“What’sfunny?” he asked when Ichuckled.
“You, protecting my modesty.”
His smile widened, and he kissed my cheek ever so softly that Ibarely registered it. Asecond later, he was next to the door.
“You’re not staying?”
“If Idid, Ican’tpromise you there’dbe no sleeping. I’ll see you, Tulip.”
As soon as Iheard him closing the door behind him and turning the lock, my eyelids draped over my eyes like asilk veil, smooth and soft. It didn’ttake long for the peaceful sleep to arrive, when Iwas surrounded by the comfort of having another person in the world who cared about me.
