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CHAPTER ELEVEN
Laura
Something shifted in me the morning after Zach’ssweet and very nonsexual visit.
So sweet, in fact, that even as the heap of edits threatened to swallow me whole, my thoughts still dashed like uncontrollable children to him. They started off as innocent, prancing around his deep blue eyes, the dark stubble that contrasted them and made them that much more special, his tousled hair from running his hand through it so many times.
Then on my second coffee break at seven thirty they escalated to thoughts that left me hot and bothered like how it felt to be completely bare under his scrutiny in the obscurity of my bedroom, that his hard cock and rough hands were my solace. My thighs clenched at this, and Inearly spilled the hot contents of the mug on the computer, so Iforced them away as well.
An hour later, my stubborn mind wandered to ano man’sland of Zach’stender kiss and even more tender touch as he laid me down in my bed. They elicited adifferent kind of warmth, aseriously irrational one, one that would screw up the delicate balance we had created.
“No, no, no,” Isaid to the empty room and dragged my focus back to where it belonged, on my work. Iblasted the speakers with the bestgetting adude out of my headplaylist, and sang along with the Doors. Obviously “Light My Fire” wasn’tapart of that repertoire.
My favorite song came on just when my phone flashed with my younger sister Olivia’snumber on it. Her calling this early during her summer break set off the alarm bells in my head. Olivia had many good qualities, none of which consisted of waking up early on weekends or during vacations. Not for world peace, not even for her idol Kurt Cobain if he ever descended from the heavens.
Ipicked up the phone and heard her sobbing, realizing how much Ifucking hated being right. “Olivia? What’sgoing on?”
“I—I—I—” She hiccupped, unable to articulate anything but more crying.
“Take adeep breath.” Ikept my tone steady, though the earth shook beneath me. Ileaped to my feet, searching for my keys, fully prepared to jump on the next bus to New Haven.
She began to talk as my fingers curled around the strap of my laptop bag. “I’mleaving this house, Laur. Ican’tstand to be around these people.”
Thesepeopleshe couldn’tstand were our parents.
Well, at least she wasn’thurt. Not physically.
Idropped into the chair, rubbing my face with the hand that wasn’tholding the phone. “You’re seventeen, so technically you can’tleave. Yet.”
The failed attempt Igave at humor fell flat.Silence.
“Tell me what happened. Maybe Ican help.”
Her crying stopped. “Ineed money to hire an attorney and petition to be emancipated. I’ll pay you back, Ipromise.”
“It’snot about the money, and please, save the drama for your girlfriends.” Ihated not being there for her and Ihated scolding her even more, but she had to toughen up. “What did they do?”
“We talked about colleges. They’ve been nagging me all the time about making alist of places I’mgoing to apply to. And…” she hesitated.
“Go on,” Iurged her. “You know you can tell me anything.”
“Iknow.” Olivia hiccupped, then blurted out at the speed of light, “Itold them Ididn’twant to apply this year.”
“Why is that?”
The day Olivia emerged into the world, Ipromised myself and her that I’dbe the adult who showed her compassion and love. Despite our ten-year age difference, Iwas old enough to realize our parents weren’tthe Bradys.
Ishowed her love through hugs, and Ishowed her even more love by not enabling her. In order for me to back up this kind of decision, she had to prove to me she had asolid plan of what she’ddo instead.
“Iwant to see the world, not just go from one school to the next, studying it through textbooks. Ihave it all planned out.”
This prelude sounded more ominous than promising. Still, Ihad hopes that even the slightest inkling of my lectures throughout the years had impacted her. “Would you please share with me this big plan of yours?”
“I’mgoing to apply to be aflight attendant.” Her declaration caught me off guard since she hadn’tmentioned it, not once, and Olivia talked to me about everything.
“Iwant to be free to see places and people across the country, across the world. And I’dmake aliving off it too! What do you think?”
“Ithink…Ithink it’snot half bad.” The pressure in my chest eased, and my brain started calculating routes on how to help her with it. “Let me guess, Mom and Dad disapproved?”
