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CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Laura
Erin had been sketchy throughout the entire week.
On Monday she asked me if Ihad work scheduled for Saturday afternoon. No date was more free than awedding photographer’s, two days ahead of Christmas. Plus, Olivia, to the chagrin of our parents, went ahead and fulfilled her dream of flying around the world before she applied to any college, if ever, and Istayed in Boston to celebrate the holidays.
Both of which Erin knew about.
Peculiar, but Ilet it slide.
Iagreed without an argument even when she chose Gwendoline’s, the bistro where Zach and Istarted our magnificent agreement all those months ago. It left its mark on me; Zach left his mark on me. I’dmissed him, terribly.
Three months trudged by since that tragically painful evening where Itold him we were through. We hadn’tspoken since, avoiding each other even on the friendly brunches Erin and Thomas hosted. As if in an unspoken contract, one of us passed when the other one showed up. The fact that we hadn’tbeen speaking didn’tmean we stopped caring for each other.
Being away from him hurt, and Istarted truly questioning my life decisions. When Olivia subbed for me as my assistant, the work kept flowing and Ihadn’tgotten asingle complaint. Granted it had been my overachieving sister working her charms to get my approval, but who said no one else was as capable as her or me?
No one, that was exactly who.
Iposted an ad on Craigslist amonth later and received countless messages, that resulted in ten interviews of the people who stood out the most. Out of these ten, Dawn and Iconnected the minute she sat across from me in alocal café. Since then, the raven-haired, young woman and Ihad been working together and Ibegan guiding her through my editing programs in hopes she’dtake over that area in the future as well.
That was how Ihad my Saturday afternoon completely off. Erin, however, had lost her confidence in me being there more than once. She lost it on Tuesday when she texted to make sure Ihadn’tforgotten, then on Wednesday, then RSVPing my ass on Thursday with aphone call.
“Hey, if anyone ever bails on late-night dates when everyone’salready out the door it’susually the two of you.” Ichuckled. “Not pointing any fingers, but, oh, well, yes Iam pointing my fucking finger.”
“Don’tgo all crazy on me for checking.” Astrange hint of conspicuousness marred her tone. “What if Olivia drops by from one of her flights?”
“Erin, Ilove you, but please stop acting crazy. Even if Olivia does miraculously show up from Chicago, she’dbe happy to join us.”
“Iguess that’s…okay.”
Icould hear her biting her lip from across the phone. Ididn’tsay anything either.Let her be weird. Maybe she planned on announcing asurprise pregnancy and Irefused to be the one to ruin the surprise for her.
“Fine, fine. It’sjust that Thomas’sparents already agreed to babysit and Iwanted to double-check.”
“Erin, you quadruple-checked.” Itried not to sigh, though it might’ve slipped. “Isaid I’mcoming, don’tworry.”
Isipped my boiling coffee from amug that readIdo not spew profanities. Ienunciate them clearly, like afucking lady. Isaw it at an artists’ market and Ihad to get it. It reminded me of Zach. The one that got away.
More coffee. Coffee dulls the pain.
“Good. Excellent. Ilove you, Laura.”
She hung up, not waiting for my reply.
Odd.
The rest of the week passed by uneventfully. Most of my job during these downtimes revolved around booking future weddings and finishing up edits and photo albums so I’dhave Christmas off. Dawn took care of the bookings with my oversight, and Ispent an hour aday zoning off, tuning everything out.
Everything except the sweet, funny, and kind-hearted Zach.
Because even in these hours of so-called solace, the memories of him lurked out from the corners of my mind and wandered around the house to wherever his presence used to be.
From the door where he kissed me so many times, to the kitchen where he whispered all those beautiful things to me. The couch and the bed overflowed with memories of us sharing our souls and of sharing our bodies.
Clueless on what to write him even if Ihad found the courage within me, Idid nothing.
Ijust let life drift by me.
