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I was scared of being happy—finally being happy—and then having it all ripped away from me all over again.

Run, don’t stop running.

The voice echoed in my head like it had many times before. My hands pulled at my hair in frustration. I should have run. I shouldn’t have stayed.I should have run.I should have listened.

I’d let Optimus in. I’d let him and the club allow me to feel safe and content. I’d fought the urge to run because I’d found a place where I could feel okay again. I’d found people who took me for me, who supported me, loved me with no expectations or agenda.

Just like a normal family would.

I’d found what I knew was my place in the world.

And now what?Now, I’d just thrown it all away because I couldn’t keep my feelings in any longer. I grabbed the item nearest to me, a pair of high heels that lay next to the door, and threw them across the room. They hit a lamp next to the sofa and it crashed to the ground.

I scrambled to my feet, my body needed some kind of release. I needed to let everything out and I was done crying. I was done feeling weak, sitting here, waiting for him to admit how he felt.

It wasn’t his fault.

It was mine.

I should have run.

I tossed my backpack across the room, the contents spilling out as it hit the floor. The crash of my computer against the hard wooden floor feeling almost satisfying. I slammed my hand against the wall and screamed, the low vibrations enough to cause my throat to hurt. It felt like sandpaper, but it felt good.

“Chelsea?” There was a banging at the door, but I ignored it, continuing to attack anything I could find.

I’d lost it.

I was breaking.

I tried to scream again, but instead it came out as a sob as I took hold of one of the dining table chairs and threw it to the ground. There was a loud bang and I jumped like I’d been shocked with a cattle prod. Boots pounded against the floor and Ham came into view looking around frantically for the source of all the noise.

“Fuck, Chel. I thought someone was in here beating the shit out of you,” he said finally as his eyes scanned my body checking for any signs that I was hurt.

I gripped the kitchen table with both hands. My legs were threatening to give way, every part of my body was telling me to give up. Everything was hitting me at once and it was almost too much. I stared at Ham, unable to even speak. I placed a hand over my mouth, trying to force down the tears that I thought were done.

Ham eyed me carefully, taking a few small steps toward me. “Hey, it’s okay.”

I took a deep breath and that’s when I felt it.

My heart broke.

I could feel it in my chest, shattering into pieces.

Some might say it was impossible. But I knew.

Ham’s hands flew out and caught me just as my body crashed. He pulled me into his chest and cradled me like a baby, rocking me back and forth and making soothing noises. “Chel, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

I gave in. I let him comfort me even as every other part of me protested, my mind screaming at me to run.

But I was tired.

I didn’t want to run anymore.

I wanted to be happy.

I could have been happy.

But now, I was just broken.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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