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Chapter Twenty-Seven
“You’re sure about this, man?” Eagle asked as we walked into the jewelry store.
I ducked low under the doorway to make room for Macy who sat giggling on my shoulders. “Just as sure as I was about it the first time I did it,” I replied with full confidence.
Eagle had come with me to pick out a ring. On Christmas Day I was going to propose to Hadley. There was no question in my mind about what I wanted. I wanted her to hold my last name. I wanted her to have the same name as both Macy and me—for us to be a real family and make this work. I knew Eagle was a little concerned I was moving too fast, and I appreciated his caring, but there was no need for it.
I would never forget about Kim. She was my first love, and I still remembered her every single day. I still saw her every time I looked into Macy’s eyes and I knew she would be with us forever. Hadley had proved to me time and time again that she would never want to replace or force me to forget the woman that meant so much to me for a huge part of my life, but I wanted her to know that she also meant a lot to me too.
I fucking loved her.
“Pwetty,” Macy cooed as she looked down at all the sparkling jewelry around us. “Can I have one?”
I chuckled. “One day baby girl.”
“Can I help you?” The young woman behind the counter greeted us with a kind smile. I explained to her what I wanted, something simple but elegant. Hadley wasn’t over the top, she liked the simple things in life and fancy just wasn’t her style. I wanted something that would reflect her and how I saw her.
We went through almost the entire case of rings before Macy jabbed her finger at one in particular. “This one.”
The woman smiled sweetly at Macy. “That’s a trinity knot. It’s meant to represent the three promises in a relationship, love, honor, and protection.”
There were trinity knots on either side of a small heart shaped diamond. It was beautiful, meaningful, and absolutely perfect to show Hadley how I felt about her. It reminded me almost of her tattoo, the tree that grew up one side of her spine, displaying her love for her family. I had a Celtic knot of my own on my shoulder blade, which I’d gotten to show the bonds between my military brothers and I. It represented how we were all connected together, even through death.
“It’s perfect.”
Macy grinned up at me as I asked the woman to put it in a case for me. I hadn’t tried to explain to her exactly what I was doing, knowing that my little girl could never keep a secret this big, but it was as though she knew just who I was thinking about and picked up the one ring that held the most importance.
“Pwetty daddy.” She giggled.
“Very pretty, baby girl. Good job,” I praised and hefted her onto my hip while blowing softly against her baby smooth skin.
“Well, congrats brother,” Eagle said, patting me on the back and offering me a rare smile.
A buzz traveled the length of my body, excitement and nerves shaking through me. I hoped that Hadley knew how I felt about her, but if I hadn’t made myself clear enough so far, this would definitely do it.
I paid for the ring without even blinking at the price. I wasn’t rich, but I lived more than comfortably. Especially since I’d taken over the security duties. I was making more money, and I was passionate about what I was doing. Macy’s education and future was also sorted as Kim had a reasonable chunk of life insurance, which I decided a long time ago that I would never touch. It would be Kim’s present to her daughter.
“Santa!” Macy squealed in delight as we stepped out of the shop and back into the bustling mall. “Santa, Santa, Santa,” she chanted, reaching out her little hands for the laughing man in the big red suit.
They had a‘take a picture with Santa’set up in the middle of the mall where people were lining up with screaming and crying children.
I looked to Eagle, groaning as Macy pulled me with incredible strength toward the end of the line.
Eagle began to laugh, but it was quickly cut short when Macy pulled her hand from mine and went around the back of Eagle’s legs and started to push. “Macy, come on. Take your dad, he’ll go with you.”
“No. You too,” she protested, shoving at him until he started moving.
I chuckled as he finally gave in and walked forward, stopping at the end of the long line and glaring at me. “Can’t believe I’m standing in line to see fucking Santa.” The mother in front of us gasped and turned around to throw Eagle a sharp look, pulling her child a little closer to her. He held the woman’s gaze, shrugging his shoulders.
“Don’t be mean to Santa,” Macy scolded as she held her arms up, gesturing for Eagle to pick her up. He huffed dramatically before bending down and hoisting her onto his hip. “Santa, Santa, Santa.”
Warmth settled inside me as I watched my little girl’s eyes light up, her face brightening more and more, the closer we got to the jolly old man. Usually, I left all this kind of shit to Carly. She always took Macy to see Santa and got me a picture. Being a single dad, I always did whatever I could with her. It wasn’t because I couldn’t do it, but it had always been hard with shit around the club.Or maybe that was just an excuse.
Having Hadley around had made me realize just how much I’d been relying on others instead of stepping up like I should have been. Sure, I always made time to play with her when I could. Made sure she had everything a little girl could ever need, and when she was sick I would always cuddle up in bed with her for hours on end. However, when it came to shit like this, I’d always found it easier to let Carly or the girls from the club handle it.
It was stupid because Macy was my life. She was the one who had pulled me from a swirling pit of self-destruction. Yet, I couldn’t get out of my head long enough to realize that maybe she would want me to take her to see Santa, that maybe it was actually important to her?
Hadley had been such a blessing, an angel sent to show me that I needed to pull my head out of my ass. She made sure I made time to spend with my girls, but she also never protested when she knew I had work that needed to be done. She understood me. She made me a better man, and a better father.
